There is a certain miraculous effect in the world of movies and television. Somehow, when a certain TV show or film is bad enough, it circles back around, becoming good. It’s the same scientific principle that draws gawkers to circus sideshows; we can’t believe something so ridiculous could possibly exist, we must see it with our own eyes. In my review of the first half of the “Alice” miniseries, I ranted against the low-quality stigma of the SyFy brand, but after some meditation, I’d like to amend my previous stance. While atrocious, laughable and just plain bad, SyFy’s productions do have a certain place of honor in the world of cinema. They may not be noteworthy, but with the right approach, they can be enjoyable (alcohol certainly helps). And one thing’s for certain, a movie like “Mansquito” may be insipid and insulting, but couldn’t possibly be boring. In the end, for SyFy, that’s what really counts.
Tonight’s installment of “Alice” concludes the mini-series. Beginning exactly where the first installment left off, Alice is the subject of psychological torture at the hands of Tweedles Dum and Dee. Pressured for the location of the Stone of Wonderland, Alice reluctantly concedes, scrawling a phony map in exchange for her well-being. Fortunately, The Mad Hatter and Charlie the White Knight burst in in the nick of time to save her. Except that she was already saved by her own actions. So begins the never-ending parade of loose ends.
As Alice, Charlie and Hatter flee from the Queen’s casino, they encounter what may very well be the most ridiculous aspect of the entire mini-series. Running from the combination police force/security guards, the intrepid trio find themselves cornered on the roof. Their only means of escape are a selection of flying devices which could only be dreamed up by SyFy: hovering flamingo jet skis.
Why these abominations exist, and why they are conveniently parked on the roof is irrelevant. These birds are used repeatedly, never once being questioned about image or design. Everybody looks ridiculous piloting hovering flamingo jet skis, but everybody treats them as a normal part of their day. There’s even a high-speed shootout with guns whilst flying the hovering flamingo jet skis, and no one even smirks at the ensuing ridiculousness. It’s this over-the-top lunacy that makes such poorly written fare worth watching.
Effectively fleeing the Queen’s forces, Alice explains her new modus operandi to Hatter. Alice is intent on finding her father, using the the wristwatch given to her by Jack as proof of his existence in Wonderland. Apparently unaffected by capture, torture, and her near-death experience just minutes ago, Alice insists on returning to the casino to find her father and possibly achieving closure with Jack. Because despite his lies, adultery, and upbringing in an alternate universe, Alice still thinks she and Jack have a shot at love. Not one for suicide missions, Hatter suggests consulting The Resistance again. Not the crazy, corrupted arm headed by Dodo, but the very top branch led by the enigmatic Caterpillar. After much insistence by Hatter, Alice agrees.
Hatter rushes off to learn the current location of the reclusive Caterpillar in the most ridiculously available motorboat in the history of fiction. Alice is left in the hands of Charlie, whose demeanor has shifted from childlike enthusiasm to complete brain-damaged battiness without any discernible catalyst. After a moment of clarity and a batch of dialogue which goes on way too long, Charlie confesses he is not, in fact, the last of the Knights. He was merely a squire who fled from battle, unbeknownst to him at the time it would be the battle which eradicated the White Army. Racked with guilt, he appropriated his master’s armor and legacy in an attempt to avenge the fallen guild.
Later, Hatter returns, joyfully announcing the Resistance will help. The trio simply must wait for an escort to the Caterpillar’s whereabouts. Their victory is cut short by Jack’s appearance, sword in hand with minor chords as his leitmotif. After some heavy-handed dialogue, it is revealed Jack is one of the good guys, serving as an undercover operative in the Queen’s court.
This was meant by the producers to be dramatic, however, the producers seem to have forgotten the dramatic reveal was already made in the previous installment. Jack’s true allegiances have been redundantly made obvious to us, the viewers, but Hatter needs more proof. In order to prove to Hatter that Jack can be trusted, Alice reveals the location of the Stone of Wonderland. The jeweled ring was placed on the finger of the deceased White King, enshrined nearby inside Charlie’s compound.
As serendipity would have it, Jack was also the Resistance’s escort. Jack leads Charlie, Hatter and Alice across forest and field to a building adorned with a clockwork facade. Inside, on the third floor, they meet Caterpillar, a man dressed like Sgt Pepper, floating in a canoe in a swimming pool. The quirky leader of the resistance is played well by Harry Dean Stanton, whose name and face involuntarily force anyone near a computer to Google his complete filmography. Stanton is a great character actor, known for his roles in classic westerns and the films of David Lynch. But, like all character actors, he will forever be known as, “that guy, where have I seen him before?…”
Caterpillar agrees to reacquaint Alice with her father, but warns she may not like the results. Up on the roof of his building, Caterpillar somehow magically transports Alice’s father to them, revealing him to be: The Carpenter. Yes, apparently decades ago, Alice’s father was kidnapped, brainwashed, put to work in the Queen’s laboratories, and has been synthesizing emotions into Wonderland tea without any memory of his past life on Earth. This is why Jack sought out Alice; to reunite her with her father, and possibly stop the abduction of humans and the production of tea altogether.
The mind-wiped Carpenter is disbelieving at first, but after a series of memory recovery attempts, Alice’s father’s past life slowly starts to trickle back. Before the memories fully return, Alice gives Carpenter the wristwatch and a hug, but the whole touching moment is ruined by Mad March and his minions. Caterpillar disappears in a puff of smoke, leaving Alice and Jack in police custody.
Watching from afar, Charlie and Hatter scheme a plan to rescue the apprehended heroes, utilizing the element of surprise. On horseback (apparently they found horses with saddles somewhere), Hatter quixotically charges the operatives, but is bested with one swift blow. Charlie, reprising his role of battlefield coward, rides his horse in the opposite direction, fleeing the scene in terror. The Queen, now in possession of the Stone, flaunts her victory over the imprisoned heroes before using the magic ring to activate the looking glass and abduct more humans from Earth.
Back at his fortress, Charlie berates himself for his cowardly deeds and his charlatan ways. In one last attempt to redeem himself, he stages all-out war against the Queen, using his limited tools and MacGyver-like resourcefulness to his advantage. Assembling the skeletal remains of his fallen brethren just far enough from the casino walls to hide their bony structure, Charlie produces a very realistic illusion of an army. The Queen falls for the ruse, assuming thousands of zombie Knights have been resurrected for revenge. Using strategically placed crossbows, catapults and trebuchets, the climax begins.
To defend against Charlie’s outward attacks, The Queen shifts the entirety of her security force to the castle walls, leaving the inner compounds completely unguarded. Already inside the casino’s perimeter, Alice, Hatter and Jack escape their respective holding cells, and attempt to bring down the Queen’s empire, literally, from within. Alice and Hatter locate the casino gaming floor, and snap the kidnapped participants out of their hallucinatory haze. Jack, meanwhile, reunites with Duchess and flees from captivity.
Carpenter witnesses the effects of Alice’s liberation plan, and wishes to join his daughter in celebration. Carpenter’s partner, The Walrus, wants Alice dead and order restored. The two fight until Walrus draws a pistol, which Carpenter tries to wrestle away from him, accidentally discharging a bullet in Walrus’ chest. But when in a terrible sci-fi/fantasy film has a single bullet ever killed a villain? After a tearful reunion between Carpenter and his daughter, giving closure to Alice’s abandonment and father issues, Walrus somehow stumbles in unharmed, and shoots Carpenter in the back.
Hatter tears Alice away from her deceased father as the building begins to collapse around them. From the battlefield, Charlie fires one final shot from his crossbow, effectively and literally toppling the casino like a house of cards. The Queen of Hearts confronts Alice outside the wreckage of her once great palace, but removed from her armies, her power and her influence, the bitter crone is unable to best Alice in any form. Seeing the need for leadership in this new world order, Jack strolls in nobly, retrieves the Stone for safekeeping, and dethrones his mother.
As the abducted Earthlings return home, Alice says her goodbyes to her new friends. Charlie feels completely vindicated, and promises to spread the legend of Alice eternally. Alice is approached by Jack, who offers the role of queen to Alice. Alice turns down the offer, implying Jack should stay with Duchess. As for Hatter, the pair exchange melancholy goodbyes, and Alice leaves, never looking back. With a quick departure, Alice returns to her own world through the Looking Glass, awaking in a hospital bed. Apparently, it was all just a dream.
Or was it? Returning to her normal life, Alice is saved by a “Construction Worker” who found her and brought her to the hospital. A construction worker who looks suspiciously like Hatter with a bad mustache. And he has all the memories of Hatter and Alice together, allowing the pair to skip any awkward conversation and move straight to a passionate kiss as the credits role. What a schmaltzy ending.
In conclusion, Alice is a bad film. The characters are poorly written and inconsistent, the special effects are lousy, the writing is unpolished and scatterbrained, and the concept of taking a classic work of literature and giving it an edgy, 21st century attitude needs to stop. The mini-series tries to do too many things, and actually delivers on very few. But, in terms of a SyFy movie, Alice is a good film. The scenery and art direction was nice, the action was consistent, the acting was well done, and with a few exceptions, the pacing did not falter. Whether Alice was a worthwhile endeavor depends entirely on the subjective opinions of the viewer. It’s not Casablanca, but it’s not trying to be. It’s trying to be Godzilla Vs. Megalon. “Alice” is a SyFy original mini-series, nothing more, nothing less. Take from that what you will.
To explain away the loop-hole involving the horses, Jack was only supposed to take Alice to the Caterpillar (which allowed an escalation of romantic plot where Alice must choose between the Hatter, whom she was about to kiss when Jack appeared, and her original heart throb, Jack). Charlie and Hatter also apparently went their separate ways (albeit not shown on screen), but both decided individually to follow Jack and Alice to make sure she was okay and because they didn't trust the son of the queen. The real question is, why did Charlie have two horses in Alice: Part 1, when Alice and Hatter found him? (Oh, and in Part 1: the Jabberwock cleaned its teeth with the spike like a toothpick, which I think was to make Charlie's claim of being “this close” to catching it all that more ludicrous. While the Jabberwock did look ridiculous and definitely could have been more scary, it does look very similar to the original illustration in Carroll's “Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There”)
As for the flying steampunk-esque flamingos, it was a weak attempt at paying homage to Lewis Carroll's original “Alice's Adventures in Wonderland,” where in a game of croquet “the chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo”. This reference is made when Alice (in SyFy Alice) is unable to control her flamingo and almost crashes into the forest. What's really appalling about the flamingos is how Alice is able to get one to begin with; a suit happens to be checking the engine on his, while the other two fly off. What a lucky break! I wish that scene had been executed better.
There are a few other things you've missed: we learn in Part 1 that her father has been missing for 10 years (and then in Part 2 she tells the doctors she's 10 years old.. so.. she's 20 years old in the miniseries? I find that hard to believe), not decades; you don't mention the Duchess at all in your review of Part 1 (which can be confusing if the reader hasn't watched the miniseries yet). Also, is it so hard to believe that “David” (aka Hatter) is actually Hatter from Wonderland? Although Alice was only missing for an hour, another well known series (Chronicles of Narnia) also has years go by in an alternate world, while it is only seconds in our world. Without seeing a picture of her father from when he was kidnapped (he would have had to age 10 human years x Wonderland time), this explanation is plausible (albeit overused).
While Alice isn't the most amazing thing I've ever watched, I definitely enjoyed it and would watch it again. My only complaint about your critique is that in your rush to brush it off you skip over details that make your depiction inaccurate (whether making Alice sound better or worse than it actually is).
I never liked “Alice in Wonderland”, but after seeing previews of “Alice” on the SyFy channel, decided to watch. So, I'm one of those viewers that just enjoyed it without trying to analyze. I've seen it bashed by more than you, but wouldn't be surprised if it didn't become a cult classic.
I never liked “Alice in Wonderland”, but after seeing previews of “Alice” on the SyFy channel, decided to watch. So, I'm one of those viewers that just enjoyed it without trying to analyze. I've seen it bashed by more than you, but wouldn't be surprised if it didn't become a cult classic.
I happened to love that movie. Sure, it wasn’t very much like the original, but it was fun to see what they were going to do with all the characters. Hatter, who has always been my favorite character, was amazingly portrayed and they even slipped in his “why is a raven like a writing desk” line. Hatter was HOT; that gives it points. It was a sweet movie, and I adored it.