2009 Summer Movie Preview: Part Two
Well we decided to chunk these articles up into two portions so your eyes don’t hurt after reading through all of my recaps. I hope you are all still here with us. Make sure to check out the first one if you arrived here by some twist of internet fate!
We will start back on track with July.
JULY
JULY 1
PUBLIC ENEMIES
I’ve said it before and I will again; cancel the 2009 Oscars as we can give every single award to this masterpiece. Michael Mann is my favorite filmmaker and his style has influenced my own direction and I’ll defend most of the guy’s work (my least favorite being The Keep.) This is going to be the film I see eleven times in theaters and will obliterate every other film that comes out this year. Yes, I’m predestined to love this film because everything I’ve seen leads me to believe Michael Mann has not only invaded our dreams perfectly with Bale and Depp, but is giving us a true work of cinematic greatness that will have it’s poster featured in the hall of the Academy of Science and Motion Pictures. The only movie that needs release after this is The Expendables, then cinema can end.
ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS
Public Enemies. Fox decides to revive a franchise that has been lukewarmly received from audiences and critics alike. Public Enemies. The franchise has always had the cute characters, but it’s lacked what made the Pixar movies special with the heart behind the cuddly li’l guys. Public Enemies. I do have to admit, the trailer did make me laugh but so did the ones for the first two, and I left with the same feelings; decent for kids, meh for adults. Public Enemies. It looks like it’s opening take won’t be strong and it’ll still do battle with Optimus Prime. Public Enemies.
JULY 10
THE HURT LOCKER
I need this movie like rain needs water. Kathryn Bigelow is one of my favorite talents and it’s a shame she’s been forgotten since K-19: The Widowmaker. Word on this has been nothing short of great as it’s tearing up festivals and awards alike. There’s not alot to dislike here as it looks like we’ll have an Iraq war drama finally worth a squirrel fart. If anything, I’m hoping it relaunches Bigelow’s career again like the perfectly awesome Point Break did.
I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER
I’m of the belief you can show an IMAX film on Hayden Panettiere’s forehead. She’s not bad looking, it’s just she has a giant forehead which I assume is her super power on that X-Men ripoff “Heroes”. This looks like it could either way, but it does have original writer Larry Doyle working on the screenplay of his own novel. Really unsure about the timing of this one though as it’s going to be facing competition from Sacha Baron Cohen.
BRUNO
It’s going to be interesting to see how Sacha Baron Cohen replicates the shock reactions he generated with Borat. The sightings have been great and apparently this killed at SXSW. The trailer looks like more of the same, but doesn’t since we’re dealing with a more flamboyant character.
JULY 17
HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOODED PRINCE
Just call it Harry Potter and The Biggest Money Maker of the Summer. The Potter films have a wide fanbase and the movies haven’t sucked hard at all. Sure, it took them a while before they finally became good but that’s largely due to the improvements of it’s leading stars. The trailer has been the best they’ve given us but does it really matter for this movie? After what they did with the last film, I’ll be there in IMAX 3-D for this.
JULY 24
THE UGLY TRUTH
Like a few other films being released this summer, this has a pretty predictable ending without seeing so much as a trailer. Gerard Butler had such promise after 300 and while he hasn’t fallen off the map, he seems to be stuck in Romcom Hell. Katherine Heigl continues her string of romcoms as none look to eclipse Knocked Up anytime soon. Both could, should do and know better, but until they realize it, we’re going to be fed films like these.
G-FORCE
Sadly, this isn’t an adaptation of the “Gatchaman” anime series, but essentially a reimagining of Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Will Arnett plays agent alongside Nicolas Cage voicingg the leading…animal here and even though Arnett was enjoyable in Monsters Vs. Aliens it’s hard to see how he can elevate the material here. Hopefully the children have wised up since October.
JULY 31 (My Brother’s Birthday)
FUNNY PEOPLE
Apparently, this should be nominated for Oscars as early buzz would suggest. No clue if it’s really that good, but it does have many things going for it. Apatow and Rogen make for a good team, Sandler likes to give solid performances when he’s not making raccooon crap (i.e. - You Don’t Mess With The Zohan) and Ms. Leslie Mann-Apatow should as always be stupendous. Interesting note is constant Spielberg collaborator Janusz Kaminski is on board for this chances are it’ll be the best looking comedy of the year.
THEY CAME FROM UPSTAIRS
Ashley Tisdale = Minor interest. Trailer = Interest gone.
AUGUST
AUGUST 7
G.I. JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA
I demand Stephen Sommers to be banned from filmmaking as the man has yet to make a film that resembles decency. When he was announced as director of this film the fun was sucked right out of it and the buzz was shot to hell when the toy photos of Cobra Commander where leaked. I know going with the blue hood was too simple and cool for this film, but no one wanted Jimmy Vulmer. It looks like Wanted, but as long as Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow are handled well there shouldn’t be too much whining.
JULIE & JULIA
Amy Adams does her one fun film of the year in May, then comes back to the arthouse with this. Julie Powell steals a page from Diablo Cody and attemps to become a screenwiter. Too bad she couldn’t have found a better director than Nora Ephron (no relation to Zac obviously, although just as talented) who’s last film was the cinematic equivalent of Jack Bauer torture. It does have the presence of two great actresses so it should be ok. Maybe.
SHORTS
Robert Rodriguez returns to working with children in this tale of a boy who finds a multi-colored, wish granting rock. RR’s not a bad filmmaker but his flicks always have the proper amount of cheese that have some form of charm to them. This might be why the Spy Kids films work so well or it’s Rodriguez’s way with child actors. Whatever the case, Shorts should deliver even if it looks borderline Speed Racer.
AUGUST 14
A PERFECT GETAWAY
Riddick creator David Twohy tells this tale of two pairs of lovers who discover they’re being stalked and hunted. Milla Jovovich plays Steve Zahn’s husband in this which isn’t so hard to believe when you consider who she’s really married to (another person who needs to be banned from filmmaking.) Some would say Twohy needs to hang it up too, but he’s better at ideas and not the actual construction of a script.
DISTRICT 9
Rumored Halo director Neil Blomkamp takes on this sci-fi action romp. I’m interested if only because I’ve never seen Neil’s work and he made quite a bit of noise when he was rumored for Halo all those years ago. It also has an interesting premise with the aliens being the hunted and not the hunters. Peter Jackson is behind this as well. Do I smell an exercise for Halo?
FINAL DESTINATION: DEATH TRIP 3-D
Race cars. Horror. 3D. Sounds like a grindhouse film right? No, but that’s what were getting from David R. Ellis in this forth installment of the Final Destination saga. I remember a time when 3-D used to be unique. Now it feels like a gimmick to put asses in seats and along with IMAX specific scenes, seems to be where cinema is headed. In fact, I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MONKEY FIGHTING STUDIOS AND THEIR MONDAY TO FRIDAY GIMMICKS!
THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE
Eric Bana will hopefully revive his career this year with this, Funny People, and some science fiction nonsense being released in May. Rachel McAdams is looking to do the same after her great turn in State of Play with this science fiction romance. The premise is intriguing enough and certainly the leads have enough talent to make it work, but will it be more Fountain or more Notebook? Time will tell.
PAPER HEART
No documentary and some narratives look to eclipse Anvil: The Story of Anvil this year but this small feature from Charlyne Yi has been garnered both kinds of good and bad buzz. Michael Cera is in this experiemental documentary that I hope isn’t what some say: lots of vision, very little substance.
AUGUST 21
INGLORIOUS BASTERDS
I may be the only guy in the universe, but I find Quentin Tarantino to be overrated. He’s not bad, but he is not the end-all be-all of crime and cinema like everyone made him out to be (on a side note, what really annoys me is when people say my own work is derivative of his when none of my inspiration comes from him.) Because of my feelings, it made me feel good when Death Proof showed his greatest weakness in it’s true form and everyone came off his high horse. But now we get his “dream” project and while it’s not the case he wants, it still looks deliciously great. Nazi’s for sure will be destroyed gloriously, and Brad Pitt embodies Lee Marvin. If there’s one movie to end the summer, why not this one?
THE POST GRAD SURVIVAL GUIDE
Erm…did we really need this film? It’s relatable for sure, but it appears way too cute for it’s own good and even stars Sara Paxton’s non-sister Alexis Bledel. I just hope this isn’t some post-Juno nonsense that will sniff it’s own ass and pretend to have a lesson. If anything, the casting of Michael Keaton and Carol Burnett gives me some (if very little) hope.
AUGUST 28
H2: HALLOWEEN 2
So the summer ends with Rob Zombie poisoning us to an unwanted sequel to an pointless remake of a classic horror flick. I really, really don’t see the point in this picture much like I don’t think Zombie should let near a camera for a Halloween movie. Sure, rebooting all the horror franchises is necessary because of the continuity errors they all have but let’s at least pay the respects to what came beforehand. These don’t even feel like Halloween films but more like The Devil’s Rejects Feat. Michael Myers. Maybe this will bomb so we’re no longer plagued with Zombie’s Halloween.
And with that, this preview is over. This summer has way too many films that can go either way which means it could be as good as last year, or as hit or miss as 2007. With that said, here’s the Ten Most Anticipated For Summer 2009:
1. Public Enemies
2. The Hurt Locker
3. Up
4. Moon
5. Terminator Salvation
6. Bruno
7. Funny People
8. Star Trek
9. District 9
10. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
See you at the movies!
