In preparing to write this review I struggled with how I wanted to approach the movie and the review. For those of you that know me, I am a Baltimore native and a first-generation fan of the Baltimore Ravens. When the Ravens drafted Michael Oher in the recent 2009 NFL Draft it was all over ESPN and the NFL Network that a movie about his extraordinary young life was being filmed. From April till now I lobbied every month to be able to review this movie. When the trailer came out in September I started lobbying even harder. Eventually I was given the golden ticket to see the early screening. Why was this movie, out of all the other movies I have seen and will see, so big for me? Part of it was the civic pride of seeing one of my guys, a Baltimore Raven, have a story about him on the big screen. The other part was to see why so much was written and said about Michael Oher and to learn why his life turned out the way it is and lead him to Charm City (one of many nicknames for Baltimore).

Director John Lee Hancock takes the real life story of Michael Oher and brings it to the big screen not as a documentary but as a “based on true events” movie. Hollywood liberties were taken as the high school Oher attended and the name of the football team he played for were both renamed; the school is now the Wingate Christian School and the team is the Crusaders.  JLH also made the character of Michael Oher appear slower and dumber then he really was at that time – I’m sure this was done to help bolster the drama of the movie.

Michael Oher’s story started at an early age when he was removed from his mother’s home due to her addiction to crack cocaine. He repeated both the first and second grade and attended eleven different schools during his first nine years as a student. During this time he was also in various foster homes and eventually would run away from the foster home to look for his mother. During his senior year of high school, Oher learned that his father, who he hadn’t seen in years, was murdered.

The Blind Side focuses on Michael Oher’s sophomore and junior years of high school. We first meet Michael Oher (played by Quinton Aaron) as he is being driven to the Wingate Christian School by the father of a friend with whom he was living, sleeping on his couch. At the school, his friend’s father Tony Henderson meets with the coach of the football team in hopes of getting his own son, Tony Jr., and Michael, into the school. The coach takes some interest in Michael but the school administrators don’t think that he fits, nor would he be capable of handling the school’s workload. His grades are below average and he was passed from grade to grade just so the next teacher would have to deal with him – no one took the time to try and help or teach Michael. One teacher, Mrs Boswell (played by Kim Dickens) fights to allow Michael into the school and says that she will help him learn and get his grade point average up to passing level.

During this time Michael leaves his friend’s house due to issues within that household. Because of this, Michael has been living at the school in the gymnasium or at the local laundromat in town. The night before Thanksgiving, Sean and Leigh Ann Tuohy (played by Tim McGraw and Sandra Bullock) with their son S. J. (played by Jae Head) are heading home from the school when they see Michael walking on the side of the road on a cold and rainy night heading in the direction of the school. Feeling sad for Michael, the Tuohy’s offer to take Michael back to their home so he can get a warm night’s sleep. Leigh Ann starts to help Michael by offering to take him shopping for new clothes as well as hire a tutor (played by Kathy Bates) to help him bring the GPA from 0.9 to 2.65 and get him the education he never received.  The Tuohy’s oldest daughter Collins (played by Lily Collins) also helps Michael with his studying. The Tuohys know that Michael can do so much more when given a chance and are there to encourage and help him.

The Blind Side chronicles the hard times and new times that Micheal Oher experiences.  Tim McGraw and Sandra Bullock do incredible jobs portraying the Tuohy’s and both show the warmth and compassion that is in the hearts of the real-life people they are playing.  Both managed to become the Tuohys and you forget that this is a movie as you fall into the real-life struggles and trials that the family goes through in helping Michael Oher. Quinton Aaron does a great job at playing Michael Oher. He manages to capture the physical size and athleticism of the character. He also does a wonderful job in showing the softer side of Oher, although as stated earlier, the director does play on the “slowness” to help push the drama. The comic relief of the movie would be Jae Head as S.J which is short for Sean Tuohy Junior.  S.J. manages to work up the laughs and isn’t the stereotypical cute kid/brat but is the light-hearted support  that is needed to push the dark subject to the side.  S.J. manages to help Oher with his college offers and eventual pick of which college he will attend. The Tuohys want Michal to go to Mississippi University, Ole Miss, as that is where they attended college, but let Michael hear offers from other colleges.  Because this is based on real life you are treated to screen cameos of current and former college coaches as they try to get Oher to go to their college/university. It’s amazing to see what coaches will do and what deals are made to entice someone to play for their organization.

The Blind Side is an emotional roller coaster as there are laughs and teary moments throughout the movie. There is a very touching scene in the movie when Leigh Ann finds Michal’s mom and asks for permission to adopt Michael even though he has been a ward of the state for years.  No matter how different the social class is between the two women, they are both mothers that have children and were able to relate with each other over the well-being of Michael.

The last scene of the movie was a great added bonus that helped complete the first chapter of Michael Oher’s story and lead into the next chapters of his life. The crowd that attended the screening was clapping and cheering when this scene came up on the screen and I have to admit, I joined in with the celebration.  I’m left wondering how this will play out in other cities as I’m sure it will be big in Baltimore. I can’t wait to see The Blind Side again to compare the different audiences and see how they react to the last scene of the movie.

The Blind Side is rated PG-13 due to one scene of drug usage, violence, and sexual references. Some of the content is dark and not suitable for younger viewers (just saying, not telling you to not take your 3-year-old but hey, that’s up to you). After you’ve seen The Blind Side, post a comment and let me know what you thought. I know that I’ll be revisiting this review and adding some comments of my own once I’ve seen it a second time. The Blind Side is a movie so nice that you’ll want to see it twice.

Rating: ★★★★½ 

The day of the screening I was joking around with some friends at my day job and came up with this snazzy catchphrase regarding the new movie 2012: “Only John Cusack can outrun disasters of massive proportions but not be able to stop the disaster that was his character’s marriage.” I knew that Amanda Peet played Kate Curtis, the separated wife of Cusack’s Jackson Curtis and I had a feeling that by the end of the movie their long lost love would be reunited by the events of the movie.  Boy was I right, and I didn’t need the Mayans to predict this like they allegedly have predicted the disaster that is 2012.

Director and Screenwriter (gotta give credit where credit is due) Roland Emmerich managed to create what will be this season’s greatest comedy. I don’t think that is what he set out to do upon drafting, filming, and editing 2012 but that is the end result. This two-and-a-half hour comedy will have you rolling in your seat as you watch Cusack and the gang outrace disaster after disaster after disaster. The over-the-top elements and wacky situations in which Cuscak and the gang find themselves is downright hysterical. You’ll laugh as the Cusack Gang (short name from now on) out drive an earthquake that is ripping California apart. You won’t be able to resist the temptation to crack a smile when the Cusack Gang manage to hit the perfectly placed upturned pavement, use it as a ramp to jump a very large hole caused by the massive earthquake they were outrunning, and drive through a glass building that was toppling in front of them. It’s the Dukes of Hazzard meets Lethal Weapon 4!

The plot is straight out of an NBC Movie of the week that should be shown as a two-parter during February sweeps. In 2009 Doctor Adrian Helmsley, played by Chiwetel Ejofor, discovers that the Earth’s core is getting hotter. He takes the facts and presents them to Carl Anheuser, played by Oliver Platt, who is the President’s top scientist. They determine that with the help of the world’s government, ships can be built to house all of the world’s culture as well as those select individuals that helped fund the project and all government parties throughout the world. The plans are put into motion and in 2010 the governments unite. Over the next two years the Chinese build six very large metal ships that will be used to transport countless live animals and people to safety for months if not years, and house state-of-the-art electronics that will guide their way. These Arks will be used for the months or years it takes to restart civilization after the great floods.

There is even a Who’s Who of characters that gave 2012 that NBC Movie of the Week feel. Danny Glover is the President of the United States. Woody Harrelson is Charlie, the one “crazy person” who knows the Government’s plans but isn’t taken seriously. Blu Mankuma plays Harry Helmsley the father of Ejofor’s character, and George Segal plays Tony Delgato who hasn’t spoken or seen his son in years and is also Harry’s musical partner. This short list of actors helped to make 2012 feel like a Movie of the Week. Where are Hasselhoff and Shatner when you need them?

I won’t even get into the wooden performance Glover gives as the POTUS. His delivery and demeanor seemed to indicate that this was a paycheck and not really a wise career move. Cusack did a good job at not taking the story too seriously. I mean, how can you when you’re constantly avoiding disaster with seconds to spare. Peet was the only actor who delivered a believable portrayal of a character. As I’ve been told, it only takes one rotten apple to ruin the bunch – thanks to Amanda Peet for being that apple. I kid, I kid… you were the bright spot to this comedy and you were the only person that made me believe that your character was in danger.

I’m sure some will think this was an amazing movie based on the great effects. YES, the effects were incredible. The way Emmerich choreographed the destruction of the Earth was, to say the least, beautiful. His use of real-world physics helped to portray the massive destruction that was happening before our eyes. His sinking of California was an awesome effect and the way the land mass sank while buildings kept toppling over was darn cool to watch. His use of dust and debris from downed buildings converging down the roads and toward the populace was too reminiscent of images captured on 9/11/01 in New York city.  I found myself picking up small sound effects that added to some of the massive events unfolding on the screen. There is a scene where the U.S.S. John F. Kennedy is being lifted by a massive tsunami and the scraping noise of the jets sliding off the bow of the ship was a nice touch of realism. But, as we all know, effects do not make a movie great. Story and acting are also needed to help sell the Hollywood magic and are just what was missing from 2012. I find it hard to take a movie seriously when the entire audience is laughing at EVERYTHING that is happening in front of them. If Emmerich is smart he’ll have Columbia put this under the Comedy section come Oscar time.

Columbia Pictures manages to deliver a PG-13 movie with intense disaster sequences, a 2.5 hour run time, little story,  lots of special effects, and laughs-a-plenty (which I’m sure was unintentional and just the by-product of a bad movie).

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ 

I’m going to do something I usually don’t do for my reviews… I’m going to start with my rating: 5 stars!  That’s right, this movie written by John Favreau, Vince Vaughn, and Dana Fox and directed by Peter Billingsley (long-time friend and business partner of Vince Vaughn but better known as Ralphie in A Christmas Story) had me ROTFLOL with a big ol’ Simpsons grin all over my face. Produced by Vaughn’s Wild West Picture Show, Couples Retreat doesn’t go overboard with crude, rude, or lewd humor. It delivers on humor gained from life and doesn’t take itself too seriously about marriage and long-lasting relationships. What Couples Retreat manages to do is present a caricature of four types of couples we all know well, and lets us look at life from their perspective.

After an opening montage of marriages from the 50′s through 2009, we meet the four couples that are featured in the movie. For fun I’ll list the couples as if this were The Newlywed Game:

• Couple #1 – Dave and Ronnie, played by Vince Vaughn (The Break-Up) and Malin Akerman (Watchmen); this is the couple that doesn’t realize they are looking at their marriage like a job and both just happen to be “working” in the same relationship with the same children, extended family and friends.
• Couple #2 – Joey and Lucy, played by John Favreau (I Love You Man) and Kristin Davis (Sex And the City); this is the couple that was high school sweethearts. She got pregnant at 18, then got married so they could raise their daughter together. Eventually they realize that they don’t love each other as much as they originally thought they did and are only still “married” just for their daughter.
• Couple #3 – Jason and Cynthia, played by Jason Bateman (Hancock) and Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Marshall); this is the hard-working, does-everything-by-the-book, over-thinking couple that eventually realizes that they may not be as compatible as they thought. They are working on saving their marriage and have a business plan in place to dictate how their lives should be lived.
• Couple #4 – Shane and Trudy, played by Faizon Love (Who’s Your Caddy) and Kali Hawk (this is her first co-starring role in a movie); This is the newest couple in the movie as Shane is recently divorced and dating a younger woman. Only time will tell if he is happy and can move on or is still in shock from the divorce.

Now that the table is set, lets look at the main course – the plot. Jason and Cynthia are having marital problems as she is not able to get pregnant. The stress of this is causing a split in their marriage so they are going to make one last effort and try to save their marriage. Jason and Cynthia know of a tropical place called Eden that has the best couples’ therapy in the world. The only catch is they can’t afford it on their own so if they can get their friends to come along, the costs is cut in half. Reluctantly the other couples agree as a way to show support, get a free trip, and leave to start the journey with their friends. Each couple embodies someone we know and we can laugh with as events unfold at the Eden Resort.

Upon arrival to the resort they learn that there are two parts of Eden: Eden West, where the couples retreat is located and Eden East, where the singles retreat and parties are located. The couples’ retreat is run by Mr Marcel played by Jean Reno (The Pink Panther 2) who is the world’s leading couples spiritualist.  The resort’s job is to make sure that there are no distractions for the couples and allow them to re-learn why they married in the first place and find the missing spark of their marriage. Needless to say hilarity ensues as we watch the couples partake in the couple-building exercises.

Couples Retreat is a comedy that has romance as part of the plot; I would not classify this movie as a Rom-Com (Romantic Comedy for those that aren’t up on their movie ling0).  And boy-howdy do the jokes start flying fast and funny. There are some scenes in this movie that will have you laughing so hard that you’ll want to go back and see the movie again JUST to catch the jokes you missed the first time.  I want to go into detail of the jokes and humor but I’m afraid that if I do I’ll ruin the fun and surprises.  This is the type of comedy where the delivery of the humor is in the words and life situations and not related to pratfalls and sight gags. I won’t ruin the fun but I will say that the younger child of Dave and Ronnie (Vaughn and Akerman) steals the movie in two scenes involving a Home Depot-type store.

As for the main characters, the script was written in such a way as to showcase each couple and their specific problems without taking away from the overall plot.  With this type of movie comes similarities to previous movies such as Parenthood (which itself is now the basis for two TV shows) The Break-Up,  Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and I Love You Man. All five of these movies show the funnier side of marriage, relationships, and life. With that, I will say that both Vaughn and Favreau  have great comedy timing and play off of each other with relaxed ease making the comedy flow as if natural and not being pushed. The same is true of the script – it allows everyone to shine through the words and situation and again, no rude or lewd sight gags are needed.  I keep bringing this up as too many movies rely very heavily on crude and/or scatalogical humor, or setup gags that have a cruel punchline. Couples Retreat manages to deliver the humor with a great cast while being real to itself and not talking down to the audience.

Only adding to the humor are the secondary characters, the “quirks” that are always needed to help sell the story. One face you’ll recognize is that of Dr Ken Jeong (The Hangover) who plays the Therapist that Jason and Cynthia talk to at the resort. His soft hands / soft heart approach adds to the quirkiness as he is there to help the hard-nose straight-laced couple try to fix their marriage.  Another character that the audience loved was Stanley [as he says in the movie, "Stanley with a C"] played by Peter Serafinowicz (Shaun of the Dead). Stanley is the concierge of the resort and Mr Marcel’s right-hand man. Serafinowicz’s portrayal of Stanley reminded me of a very young Christopher Walken in style and appearance. A scene near the end of the film will have you laughing as Dave and Stanley battle each other in Guitar Hero. Yes, another movie works Guitar Hero into the plot it but does add some fun to the style in which used. (This has nothing to do with the review but can you name two other movies that  also used Guitar Hero?  That would be Rain Wilson’s The Rocker and Kevin James’ Paul Blart: Mall Cop.)

The humor (which I keep mentioning but can’t give too many details as it would ruin the fun) and the characters are worth the time to see Couples Retreat. Vaughn and company do a great job in delivering one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a long time. With a running time of 107 minutes, this PG-13 movie distributed by Universal is a movie I’d recommend seeing on Date Night or with a bunch of friends. You will get your money and time’s worth in seeing this movie.

Rating: ★★★★★ 

Definition of the word “Surrogate:” Noun – a person appointed to act for another; a substitute.

In the near future human kind has replaced themselves with robotic entities known as Surrogates. The Surrogates were created 14-years earlier by a Dr. Canter (James Cromwell) as a way to help paraplegics gain the ability to move and walk again. A few years later the military started to use the technology as exo-skeletons for the troops sent into combat. These exo-skeletons were used to help enhance the troops mobility and duration during combat. Eventually it was determined that mankind didn’t need to be on the battle field at all and Surrogates were created and deployed into battle while the host was safe and sound at a command base sitting in a “command chair” controlling what the Surrogate did and said during battle.  Like most military ideas and inventions, eventually this made its way into the public and normal people were able to have their own surrogate. Now everyday people could create a surrogate that looked how they wanted to look, do things without risk of death, and be someone that in real life they were not able to be.  With the advance of the surrogates came the decline of human kind. Pockets of resistance groups started to form and build cities outside of the surrogate cities. These were deemed Human Only locations and no machines were allowed. Man and Machine are not able to live together in harmony and eventually one shall stand while one shall fall.

Bruce Willis stars as FBI Agent Tom Greer. In the human world, Greer is in his 50′s, bald, and aging. As a Surrogate he is agile, young, able to do his job with no limitations. We first meet Tom and his partner Agent Peters (Radha Mitchell) when they are called to the scene of the first Homicide in Boston in at least 14 years. Two Surrogates were murdered outside of a club, their eyes and memory cards were melted but the odd thing is that the host was also killed. Whoever did this has a way of killing the man and the machine and Agent Greer will do everything it takes to find the killer. As the previews show, Greer’s surrogate gets destroyed causing Greer to continue the case as a human. At first it is odd for Greer to walk, breath, and interact outside of his apartment with the new world as mankind doesn’t leave their homes anymore – not when a Surrogate can do everything for them. Greer comes to terms with his new situation and continues the search for the killer.

Making matters worse for the Surrogate society is the Human society that is being lead by a man known as the Profit (Ving Rhames). The Profit has declared that the Human society will rise again and that the eventual downfall of the Surrogates will be the best thing for the world. He has also declared that if any Surrogate enters any of the Human cities, a war will be started with deadly results. Greer knows that his best chance at solving the Homicide is to find the man responsible as well as the weapon used before this war starts.

Going into the movie I thought that Surrogates looked like a combination of I-Robot meets Blade Runner meets The Matrix. After seeing the movie I’d say that the plot is a modern day telling of Aldous Huxley’s classic novel Brave New World. A story about a man stepping into the new society and trying to understand why things are the way they are and wondering is there a way to stop the changes and reset the world back to before the “new way” become the “only way.”  I was also a little weary about the movie based on the published run time of 88-minutes. I’m glad to say that sometimes a short movie is the best kind of movie as the story moves at a quick enough pace to keep the interest of the audience. There are a few twists in the plot that really shocked me as they changed what I thought the outcome of the movie would be for a few of the characters. And that’s a good thing because we are first shown that you can’t always believe everything that you see and this is a major moving point of the movie.

The action sequences in the movie were very bland and cookie cutter. Don’t go into Surrogates expecting the budget of a summer blockbuster and getting tons of explosions and car chases. What you get is a futuristic detective movie that focuses more on the characters and less on the action. There is one major action piece that takes place about half way through the film. After that, it is back to the grindstone of the detective movie and the hunt for the killer and weapon.

Surrogates is rated PG-13, has a short run time of 88-minutes, and is directed by Jonathan Mostow. 

Rating: ★★★☆☆ 

Just read this at the Hollywood Reporter and I hope it is true. I loved the first two “Bad Boys” movies and think they are great action flicks and some of the best mindless fun I’ve seen on the big screen.

Columbia Pictures is developing a third installment of the high-octane “Bad Boys” franchise, tapping Peter Craig to pen the screenplay.

The hope is to have a script that would reunite director Michael Bay, producer Jerry Bruckheimer and stars Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. At this point, with the project in the early stages, none has a deal to return.

The “Boys” movies feature Smith and Lawrence as Miami detectives Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett, caught up in cases involving car chases and explosions.

The first “Boys,” released in 1995, helped launch Bay as a director and Smith as an action star even though it was not a fire-stamped blockbuster — it grossed $66 million domestically and $141 million worldwide.

The sequel, released in 2003 when Bay and Smith’s stars had risen, grossed $138 million domestically and $273 million worldwide.

All parties have expressed a willingness to return if a story can be hammered out. One potential hurdle, however, would be the costly deals with the players.

"a good movie for a date night"

If the daytime soap operas were ever given a chance to become big screen movie, A Perfect Getaway would be that movie. The plot is right out of one of the many soaps my mom watched when I was a kid. You have the main couple who are on their way to Hawaii for their Honeymoon. You have the couple that are the wilderness/survival freaks that befriend the first couple. And then you have the “bad” couple who are rough and tough and just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time OR, as we call them in the movie business…the red herring. All three meet up and we learn that (cue music) one of these things is not like the other. One of these couples are killers and we’re along for the ride to find out who.

The movie focuses on Cliff (Steven Zahn) and Cydney (Milla Jovovich) Anderson as they are on their Hawaiian honeymoon. They arrive days after a mysterious murder has been discovered on the main island of Honolulu of another honeymooning couple. Deciding to move forward they continue with their vacation not letting that murder overshadow the anticipated fun and adventure. Along the way they meet up with Kale (Chris Hemsworth) and his wife Cleo (Marley Shelton), as well as Nick (Timothy Olyphant) and his girlfriend, Gina (Kiele Sanchez). During this time as they are walking the Hawaiian trails they learn from others that the police and the park rangers are on-site looking for the killers, as it is believed that they may have left Honolulu and are now on the same island as our couples. Needless to say, each suspects the other, and Trouble in Paradise isn’t just a cliché.

As I stated, I liked the mystery of A Perfect Getaway. Writer/Director David Twohy did an incredible job of setting up the plot and leading the audience along the ride of “who could the killer be?”.  His cinematic views of the trails in Hawaii are breathtaking and make me actually want to go there for vacation one year (minus the murder and mayhem).  The only problem I had with this movie was his development of one the characters and how this affected the overall feel of the movie. Without trying to ruin the plot, Nick tells Cliff and Cydney about some of his past experiences as a Navy SEAL in the course of the film. My problem is that at one point Nick turns into Rambo and changes the pace of the movie – which in turn changes the mood from mystery to action movie for a matter of minutes. To me, the jolt took away from what had been established up till this moment as a perfect buildup to the Act 3 reveal. like having a lush, flowery green carpet suddenly pulled out from underneath you. Did it ruin the overall movie? No, and that is a good thing as you’ll still enjoy the ride of A Perfect Getaway.

A Perfect Getaway is distributed by Universal Pictures and written and directed by David Twohy. It is rated “R” for graphic violence, language including sexual references and some drug use. With a run time of 97 minutes it is a good movie for a date night; take in a nice walk and some ice cream after.

Rating: ★★★½☆ 

The Category is Summer Movies

Answer: “Year One”

The Question: Name the movie that is written and directed by Harold Ramis (of “Ghostbusters” and “Stripes” fame), co-produced by Judd Apatow (of “40 Year-old Virgin” and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” fame), and stars Jack Black, Michael Cera, Oliver Platt, David Cross, and Hank Azaria.

With talent such as the names I listed above you’d expect “Year One” to be a very funny comedy with non-stop laughs and gut splitting moments. The sad truth is you get a movie that has zero potential, characters we’ve seen before in other movies, and one long running flat joke that never gets any life. I don’t care what other say, I’m going on record as saying that “Year One” is a very lose and poor remake of Mel Brooks 1981 movie entitled “History of the World: Part I”.  Where Mel Brooks was able to have top talent (for that time) and a good script, Ramis and Apatow manage to fall flat on their faces with poor casting and a poor script to work with.  “Year One” is a poor excuse of a movie that never delivers any sort of plot as you are constantly reminded of other movies while watching this one.

Lets start with the two main stars of “Year One.”

Jack Black plays Zed who is an overweight, whimsical, can’t do anything right, kind of guy. He’s doing a job that he isn’t cut out for, that job is being a Hunter for the tribe he is part of, and would rather be off doing greater things. He eats from the Tree of Knowledge, is banned from the village, and goes on to become the chosen one.  Through the whole movie you watch as Zed bumbles his way from one situation to another and manages to get out of said situation by being clumsy or happened to be in the right place at the right time.  Does this character sound like one we saw last Summer? It should as Zed is a live action Kung Fu Panda and both Zed and Panda have similar situations that make them the chose one and help them out at the end. All that was missing was Zed grabbing the main bad guy’s finger and saying “Kadoosh”.

Michael Cera plays Oh who is a skinny, shy, and is not appreciated by the tribe. He likes Zed’s sister Emma (played by the very cute Juno Temple) who doesn’t even acknowledged him when he speaks to her.  Sad to say that Oh is the comic relief to Zed and all the bad things happen to Oh while Zed stands by.  Does this character sound like one we’ve seen before? It should as Oh is Evan from “Superbad” and just like Evan, he has no balls and is a whinny, wimpy guy that gets pushed over by everyone.

Now onto some of the secondary cast. Oliver Platt plays the High Priest who is the mystical predictor for the King played by Xander Berkley. The High Priest is nowhere as funny as Dom DeLuise’s Emperor Nero in “History of the Wold.” But they are basically the same character. Vinnie Jones plays Sargon, the captain of the Roman Guards. The problem here is that it looks as if they really wanted Clive Owens to play this role as Vinnie is  made up to look like Clive Owens. Don’t even get me started on Issac, son of Abraham, being played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse better known as McLovin from “Superbad.” In this movie Issac is McLovin or McLovin is Issac…again it is an actor playing the same character from another movie but with a different set of clothes.

The plot, if you call it that as I sure can’t, is simple…Zed and Oh get forced out of their village because Zed ate from the Tree of Knowledge which is forbidden. During their journey they run into historical biblical figures such as Cain and Able, Abraham and his son Issac, and visit the city of Sodomon. One running joke is that Cain is one step ahead of them after killing his brother Able and both Zed and Oh keep running into him at every stop along the way.

The funniest part of “Year One” didn’t happen anywhere in the movie.  It was the bloopers shown at the start of the credits that most of the audience was laughing at. All this talent and we get a movie that falls flat on its face fast.

Rating: ½☆☆☆☆ 

“Marshall, Will, and Holly on a routine expedition

Met the greatest earthquake ever known.

High on the rapids it struck their tiny raft,

And plunged them down a thousand feet below.

To the Land of the Lost.”

This was the opening theme song that started the greatest adventure anyone ever saw on TV in 1974. “Land of the Lost” was a TV series that aired for three years on NBC and was produced by Sid & Marty Krofft Television Productions. This show was a monument for the 70′s as the affects used then, compared to today’s CGI affects, were ahead of its time. This show featured live action actors, stop motion/animation dinosaurs, strange sets, futuristic Alien-Lizard creatures, and cave men that hadn’t evolved. The actors were placed in front of a green screen and had to act as if they were really in danger and not in a sound stage. To quote today’s youth, that stuff was whack! Sid and Mary Kroft were able to do things with “Land of the Lost” that wouldn’t be seen again for three years till a plad clad George Lucas would revolutionize the green screen method with a little move called ”Star Wars.”

As a child of the 70′s I was a fan of the show. I even logged some time with the Sci-Fi channel during this past Memorial Day weekend when they ran their all day “Land of the Lost” marathon. I laughed at the affects but took notice that the stories and plots were ahead of the time.

Park Ranger Rick Marhsall and his two children Will and Holly went rafting. The next thing they know, they are in a world of new and strange adventures and have to find a way home. Each week showed the Marshalls trying to survive in this strange land, not get eaten by the T-Rex they called Grumpy, captured by the strange Alien-Lizard creatures known as Sleestaks, and find their way home. Eventually Rick Marshall finds his way home, but the kids are left behind for Season Three where their Uncle Jack shows up and helps them try to get back home. I guess dear old dad had to get back to Yellowstone Park and stop Yogi Bear from taking those pic-a-nic baskets (younger readers are scratching your head…older readers are laughing right now).

Here we are 35 years latter and fan favorite Will Ferrell stars in this modernization of a childhood classic. BUT with Will Ferrell you know that the story will be pushed back for the gross out comedy and I can say that he delivers highly on the gross out comedy. There is a reason “Land of the Lost” got a PG-13 rating and to be honest it could have gotten an R-rating with one or two jokes going into different directions. I’ll come out and say it right now, I am not a big Will Ferrell fan. Out of all the movies he’s been in, I’ve only like “Elf” and that was due more to Bob Newheart and James Caan then him. He was also good as Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly in Kevin Smith’s “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” but again, that is due to Kevin Smith’s writing.  With that being said and out in the open, I didn’t go into this movie expecting a lot along acting, plot, or non-gross-out jokes.

The plot of the 2009 “Land of the Lost” loosely follows the plot of the 1974 TV series. This time Rick Marshall (played by Will Ferrell) is a Doctor in Quantum Paleontologists and has a theory that with the right combination of sound waves you can travel to a parallel universe and see things that are much different then what we see here on Earth. He is laughed out of his profession and eventually is a down-on-his-luck guy set in his lazy ways working at the Tar Pits tourist park. It is here that we meet Holly Cantrell (played by Anna Friel) who believes in Dr Marshall’s theories and wants him to continue with his work. Holly found a fossil that was million of years old and had an imprint of a modern day lighter and needs Dr Marshall’s help to figure out how this happened. Reluctantly agreeing, Dr Marshall goes with Holly to the location of the fossil, a run down tourist shack in California’s dessert that is run by Will Stanton (Danny McBride). It is here that Rick Marshall, Will and Holly start their adventure that takes them to the land of the lost. Its funny, as I’m typing out the plot I’m realizing that this would be a great movie if done like “Time Line” meets “Jurrasic Park.” Instead, Will Ferrel and the writing due of Chris Henchy and Dennis McNicholas take the campyness of the original TV series and push it to Eleven.

The main comedy of the movie is how Dr Rick Marshall is a goof but doesn’t see that himself. There are many times where the cringe factor happened as the comedy was very slapstick and pushed the bar from funny to vulgar. Countless times the lose plot was used not to move the story along but to setup the next bit of slapstick comedy. Look, I won’t lie and say that I hated this move to the point of telling you not to see it. I laughed at about half of the jokes and humor. But I will say that I cringed on a lot of the jokes that just pushed the bar to that extra height and again wondered why people like Will Ferrell and his slapstick comedy. The CGI effects used in the movie still had the cartoony/stop action look of the original dinosaurs from the 1974 series. There are some nods and winks to the TV series but this movie manages to be its own entity that just happens to share in the name and basic plot. Overall if you go into this movie expecting a plot or anything that closely resembles the TV Series you’ll be fairly disappointed.

It is a shame that Sid and Marty Kroft Productions didn’t hold out and try to have a movie made following the mold of the original series. Think about how we could have had a new series of modern B-Movie adventures starting with “Land of the Lost” and then the sequals: “Return to the Land of the Lost” and ”Beneath the Land of the Lost.”

Rating: ★★★☆☆