That’s right folks, my fate rests in your hands. I haven’t been able to get to many film reviews lately due to my own skyrocketing film career. But now that I’ve told several A-List directors that my duties here are going to prevent them from signing me for their certain Oscar contenders I should have some time to get back to movies. So here’s the deal. I can probably only do one review a week, and I don’t want to try and predict which movies people are most interested in. I will be posting a list of the upcoming films for this week and a brief description. If you want to see a review for a particular film cast your vote by simply writing the title in a comment. Whichever movie gets the most votes is the one I will see.
Here are your choices for this week:
“Dan in Real Life”
Steve Carell (THE OFFICE, THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN) stars as Dan, an advice columnist struggling to raise a house full of girls all by himself. But the real trouble begins when he falls for a beautiful woman (Juliette Binoche, CHOCOLAT) who turns out to be dating his brother (comedian Dane Cook).
My note: I won’t do this often, but please OH PLEASE give me the chance to review another Dane Cook movie.
”The Darjeeling Limited”
Wes Anderson, the creator of RUSHMORE and THE ROYAL TANNENBAUMS, offers another quirky, melancholic riff on familial ties and father issues in THE DARJEELING LIMITED. Francis (Owen Wilson) has invited his brothers, Jack (Jason Schwartzman) and Peter (Adrien Brody), to join him on a train trip for a spiritual quest through India. The brothers have been estranged since their father’s sudden death, and each is now embroiled in his own personal drama. Jack is being toyed with by his two-timing girlfriend, Peter’s wife is about to give birth, and Francis recently survived a car crash that nearly killed him. As the train chugs its way across India, the brothers try to reconnect, but mainly end up arguing BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH.
Jesus, I can’t even print the whole synopsis here. Seriously, this is like a THIRD of it.
“Saw IV”
Jigsaw and his apprentice Amanda are dead.
Upon the news of Detective Kerry’s murder, two seasoned FBI profilers, Agent Strahm (Scott Patterson) and Agent Perez, arrive at the depleted police precinct and help veteran Detective Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) sift through Jigsaw’s latest grizzly game of victims and piece together the puzzle. However, when SWAT Commander Rigg, the last officer untouched by Jigsaw (Tobin Bell), is suddenly abducted and thrust into the madman’s harrowing game, the officer has but ninety minutes to overcome a series of interconnected traps…or face the deadly consequences.
Go ahead ya scurvy dogs ye, cast your votes and decide my fate.
Jesus Christ, what choices! Really, that’s it??
Well, if you get stuck with that Wes Anderson horse shit, you’re on your own. I’d rather see “Saw” quite frankly.
Good Luck, baby.
Wow dude. I like you a lot, but even I wouldn’t go see those with you. Good luck.
I cant force myself to go see any of that garbage, so go ahead and please see Dan In Real Life. I know you think Dane cook is dreamy!
I think he would rip Saw IV the best – My vote goes for IV
Yeah, sorry. I guess Saw.
It’s not about what I would rip the best, but what movies people want to see reviews for. I should also warn you that I have not seen Saw 2 or 3 because I thought the first one was a worthless piece of shit. But I will still go into the new one (if it wins) with an open mind.
I vote for “Dan In Real Life”. At this point we can know what to expect from “Saw 4″ so scratch that one. Why isnt “Martian Child” on the list?
Funny; they all sound interesting to me. I pick “The Darjeeling Limited.”
Saw. Somebody ought to watch it.
I say you watch Spaceballs and your entire article should read, “We ain’t found shit!!”
I vote for Dan in Real life. I also like the Idea of you just watching Spaceballs as that is a more enjoyable movie than any of the choices.
So far “Dan in Real Life” and “Saw IV” are tied. In the event of a tie I make the call.
I’m in the minority, but I say “The Darjeeling Limited.” I mean, what is this film about? Tell us!
Well folks it looks like it will be “Dan in Real Life” for me, unless the Saw feature times are just too convenient to pass up. Thanks for your votes and stay tuned for next week when you get to do it all again. Hopefully with a better crop of films.
And to answer Gobias’ question, I decided to narrow it down to 3 and I figured these were the most widely accessible movies. If there is something you guys specifically want reviewed let me know before the Monday before it comes out and I will be happy to put in on the list.
I would like to see a review of BLADE RUNNER: FINAL CUT. (or maybe Ill watch that this week and put up a post-changes review.)
MY vote is THE DARJEELING EFFECT (or whatever). Doing a review for DAN HIMSELF would be too easy.