Schuester comes into the rehearsal room with two items on his proverbial “list”. One: their new song is going to be something more appealing to the judges, something they know. Apparently that’s Broadway’s Wicked. Two: the school won’t pay for the special bus to take Artie and his wheelchair with them to sectionals. The group agrees that is unfair. Schue says that when he was in glee club they would put on a bake sale to raise money for important things that they needed, like silk cummerbunds.
Finn lets Schue know that kids are busier than when he went there, what with the “homework, football , teen pregnancy… lunch.” All the kids say it would be unfair and Artie says he understands; anything that takes away from rehearsing doesn’t really serve the team. Will crosses his arms and is disappointed. He apologizes to Artie but he again says he understands; they just don’t get it. We see a sort of light bulb go off for Will. Artie asks if he can use the auditorium to practices and Will says sure.
Artie plays the guitar in front of the auditorium’s large purple curtain. From somewhere else a snapping is heard. He sings “Dancing with myself,” I forgot how much I like this song. He does that thing where he sings through the halls of the high school and no one pays attention to the singing part. He also busts some cool dance-type moves in his wheelchair. He sings part of it to stutter girl. Awww. Crush.
At the next rehearsal Kurt says he wants to audition for the Wicked solo, and assures Mr. Schuester that the high F is well within his range. Will then lets the group know that he was disappointed in them; apparently they can’t read into his arms crossed look yet like I can. Will doesn’t think they understand how much harder Artie has it. He says they are going together to sectionals, or not at all, and to pay for it: Bake Sale. He also rolls out a band of wheelchairs saying each group member will be spending three hours a day in one. They will also be doing a wheelchair number.
We come back from the commercial break to a nice montage of Finn and Rachel in wheelchairs being smacked with backpacks down the hall or dumping food trays on themselves.
Then in the Home Ec. classroom Quinn is working on making cupcakes when Puck joins her and slips her what is left of his pool money after he bought dip and nunchucks. He says he got that she needed money for their kid, she corrects him saying “my kid.” The mood changes as he jokes about the kid coming out with a Mohawk. Quinn calls him an egghead and splatters an egg on him. He retaliates by flinging some cupcake mix on her. The two play-fight and it’s precious until Finn walks in, “What the hell?” Quinn tells him they are baking. ‘Cause, I mean, duh.
At his father’s garage Kurt is all bummed out that he doesn’t get to audition for the solo. His father gets up in arms about it and goes to the principal. Will says he can’t just give him the part but he will let both students try out and let the other members of the glee club judge. Rachel worries that it will be a popularity contest. Kurt rolls his wheel chair to the front of the group, legs daintily crossed the whole way, and makes the students swear to be fair about who they choose.
Having all of his students in wheel chairs makes Will notice that there is only one ramp in the school and it is far from the school’s entrance. He complains about this when the principal calls him in for a meeting, but Sue Sylvester is against what she calls “lazy makers.” The principal tells Sue that he is so inspired by the equality in the glee club he wants her to have open auditions to fill Quinn’s spot on the cheerios. Schue is to monitor them to make sure that they are fair for all.
At the Glee Club Bake Sale, none of the merchandise is moving. Finn says that maybe they should put jelly beans on them, that they’d sell more. Quinn calls him an idiot and tells him to get a job. He shouts that he is trying as he awkwardly jumps from his wheelchair and kicks it out of the way in one move. Puck watches as Quinn wheels off after him.
At the open auditions Will encourages Sue to let the students express themselves. She says she is feeling like she might projectile express herself as the students try out. She denies all of them until a special needs student takes the floor. She tells her she made the squad. Will is VERY nervous about what this might mean for the girl, Becky.
Going down the hallway, wheelchair wheel to wheelchair wheel, Puck and Finn get into it about Finn not being able to provide for the baby. Puck says he’s a “punk who doesn’t deserve to have Quinn as his girlfriend.” The two start a wheelchair fight that turns into an all-out brawl broken up by Will. He tells them that they are best friends, I think reminding us of that fact too, and asks what the hell is going on. Puck says he is just really stressed about the bake sale.
If you have this DVR-ed or something there is a HUGE extended advert for James Cameron’s new movie Avatar that lasts the WHOLE commercial break.
Then, back at glee rehearsal Artie is teaching his fellow glee kids how to do wheelchair tricks. Tina comes up to him after and tells him how much she respects him for doing what he does, that she didn’t realize how hard it was. He responds that its just liker her overcoming her stutter.
Kurt practices singing up the scale to the high F for Wicked. This scene is intercut with his father getting a phone call; the person on the other line says, “Your son’s a fag.” Kurt comes to his dad excited but his dad is upset about the call. He tells Kurt no one pushes their family around, especially not cowards on the phone, but Kurt is left to decide whether or not to try for the solo.
In the rehearsal room Finn fixes Rachel’s wheelchair tire. She confides that she is nervous about the Diva-Off because people don’t really like her. Finn lets her know she should try and work on that, then says earnestly, ‘I like you.’ Then like the awww moment earlier between Quinn and Puck, Quinn bursts in, ruining the mood. Ah the symmetry of romance corruption.
She shows him a past due notice for the sonogram bill and tells him if he doesn’t pay up they are going to go their separate ways. Whatever happened to Mrs. Schuester paying for the kid? BUT then Rachel has an idea.
Back at the bake sale table the cupcakes are going down like drug deals. Will fights through the crowd to tell the kids how proud he is. They say it’s an old recipe from Puck’s family, but when his voice over kicks in it tells us it’s not. Instead he used the wheelchair to trick the old glee club director into thinking he was really injured so he’d sell him weed. That’s right, they’re marijuana cupcakes.
In the gym Sue is trying to train Becky. Will emerges from the bleacher shadows and tells her not to treat Becky so tough. Sue says it seems like she wants to be treated just like everybody else and that he doesn’t know the first thing about it.
At the Diva-Off Finn tells Rachel he is rooting for her, and the camera cuts to Quinn, yup she knows we know, yada yada. Schuester welcomes us to the first official Diva-Off and it cuts back and forth from Rachel and Kurt singing defying gravity. Then they both build to the high F, but only Rachel hits it.
Puck catches up to Quinn in the hallway and gives her a load of cash he siphoned from the bake sale. He tells her he can get more, provide for her. Puck says that Finn would be mad for a while but when he realized he didn’t have to deal with being a dad he’d bake him a cake. Quinn tells him that he is special and romantic but they are not going to take money from a friend in a wheelchair. Finn comes up and Puck shoves the money in his pants. Finn hands her a check.
It seems that Rachel’s idea was to take Finn to get a job and tell management that he is handi-capable and that her dads are gay and if they refuse to hire him it could result in a lawsuit. Then Finn asks if he can give Quinn a lift to rehearsal and he rolls her there on the lap of his wheelchair, right away from brooding Puck.
Puck gives Will the money from the cup cakes for the bus, but Artie says although he really appreciates it he wants to use the money for a handicap ramp in the auditorium. Will goes to tell the principal and finds that Sue wrote a check for three new handicap ramps. He can’t understand her angle.
But we soon find out as Sue signs in to an assisted living facility. Turns out her older sister is mentally handicapped just like the girl she let on the cheerios. They hold hands as she reads Little Red Riding Hood to her. So Will didn’t know her as well as he thought he did. Neither did we. As sweet as it is I really hope it doesn’t ruin how inhuman Sue is most of the time. I could never forgive her for being nice.
We cut to Artie and Tina rolling through the halls in their wheelchairs. Tina gets out of the chair and gives Artie a sweet little kiss. Then she confesses that her stutter is fake. She pretended to have one because she was really shy, but when she joined glee she realized how much she was missing and stopped because she didn’t want to push people away any more. Artie thought that they had something really important in common, but not he sees that they don’t because he is going to be stuck in the chair for the rest of his life. It is not something he can fake.
Kurt tells his father he blew the note because he wanted to lose. He says the phone call was just the beginning and it would only get worse if he sang a girl’s song. Kurt says he is proud of who he is but he loves his father more than he loves being a star and he doesn’t want to do anything to hurt him.
So, remember that wheelchair number we were promised? Yeah, it’s Rollin’ on a River. It’s pretty cool with all the camera cutting and lights and a ramp and a big finish.
And that’s what you missed on GLEE
