After experiencing a too-brief period of popularity in the late 70’s and early to mid-80’s, the ninja is returning to the movies. And why not? If vampires can make a comeback, surely these shadowy warriors can do the same. Unfortunately, James McTeigue’s Ninja Assassin, produced by the action-loving Wachowski brothers, is not the kind of film likely to put them back on top.
It all starts well enough. The film’s opening scene, featuring an arrogant Yakuza youth discovering an envelope of black sand in a tattoo parlor and being subsequently taken out, is visceral and exciting. Flashes of shadow and light play exquisitely across the screen, and for a few brief moments the film behaves like horror, with unknown assailants striking with bloody accuracy from the darkness. I was excited; after following all those cheesy ninja pictures from my youth, could this one have gotten it right?
The script certainly tries to be compelling. Written by Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski (Babylon Fame, The Changeling), the story follows female Interpol agent Mika (Naomie Harris) attempting to investigate the possible existence of a modern-day ninja clan carrying out high-level assassinations for government agencies. When she is attacked in similar fashion to the unfortunate thug at movie’s start, she is rescued by a rogue ninja, Raizo (Korean pop star Rain), who has turned against his clan due to a past tragedy involving the ruthless master, Ozunu. Together, the two fight back against the Ozu clan in hopes of bringing them down.
What follows all of that are several, high-priced action scenes that feature every possible variation of ninja: flying ninjas, tree-leaping ninjas, fire ninjas, tunneling ninjas and an array of fearsome and vivisecting weaponry. McTeigue and the Wachowskis are clearly enamored by the effect that sharpened steel has on the human anatomy, as most of the budget has gone to improving the technology to a point that we can convincingly watch men chopped into sushi without the camera ever cutting away. Unfortunately, most of these battles take place in extreme darkness, so if you have a yen to see anything more than tacky CGI gore, you will be mostly frustrated. These are not the well-choreographed battles of The Matrix or Matrix Reloaded. What glops out on screen here is rushed and poorly staged. McTeigue doesn’t seem to understand the pleasures or strengths of the films that have gone before his.
It follows then that one would expect a big-budget ninja flick might at least trump its predecessors in the acting category, Ninja Assassin’s performers are almost all uniformly awful. Rain, as the protagonist, has focused intently on honing his physical appearance into a graphic novel symbolization of deadly resolve, but he can’t deliver dialogue to save his life. Naomie Harris, so good in 28 Days Later, seems here as if she has never acted before — she spits out her lines at odd intervals and consistently goes over the top in any sequence requiring dramatic tension. The only one who comes out on top is ninja film veteran, Sho Kosugi as the picture’s villain, Ozunu. He proves he can still slice and dice with the best of them, and he adds an engaging element to the film’s final battle.
Still, all of this aside, how hard can it be for a movie like Ninja Assassin to meet its target audience? It works as a good entertainment right? Not really, no. Instead of taking a page from the B-pictures of past and combining humor and energy in the film’s structure, Ninja Assassin relies only upon its far-too-serious and far-too-gory action sequences to rescue it. It doesn’t help that the script never clearly defines what a ninja is actually capable of at any given moment. Most of the time, they are near-supernatural creatures (Kosugi can actually reach into your body and cause pain a la Mola Ram) and then other times scads of Interpol agents are trapping and destroying them with ease. What gives?
Two summers ago, the Wachowski’s brought Speed Racer (also featuring ninjas and Rain) to the big screen and it was promptly swatted by critics and abandoned by the moviegoing public. It was accused of being noisy style with no substance; candy-coated crap to rot your teeth. As it turns out, Ninja Assassin is far more deserving of that title. Guys, it’s time to go back to the action drawing board and start again. And this time, make sure the lights are turned on.
