Review: PS, I LOVE YOU
PS, I Love You
or
How I Was Bribed With Sex To Watch A Hilary Swank Film.
I’d love to tear this movie apart in a long winded diatribe full of $15 words lamenting the demise of film, pop culture and romance as we know it, but the Ill try to keep it as simple as possible because this movie just isn’t worth all that. I didn’t want to see it, pleading instead for a second viewing of NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN. Women have this amazing ability to barter, and with thoughts of nakedness blinding my judgement I entered the theater- more concerned with the night ahead than the next two hours.
Hillary Swank took a break from her Broadway adaptation of Mr Ed Goes to Space to participate (barely) in this modern day Ghost (minus Patrick Swayze’s mullet), with everyone’s favorite Spartan, Gerard Butler.
The jest of this movie is as follows: Holly (Swank’s 70 lb skeleton), marries Gerry (Butler) an Irish musician who gets a brain tumor and dies. After the funeral/wake, Swank locks herself away in the apartment watching old Betty Davis films and rolling around unwashed in her husband’s clothes. 3-4 weeks later her friends and mother raid the house to clean her up and celebrate 30 years of insignificant life on earth. A cake arrives from her late husband with a tape recorder (they still make these??) explaining that letters would be arriving with detailed instructions for her to “find herself again”. 10 more letters follow and he ends every letter with, get this…. PS, I LOVE YOU.
blah blah blah, she becomes obsessed with the letters, Gerry tells her to go sing karaoke, blah blah blah -pull back the hammer and shoot yourself. As “real” as they try to make this experience, its just not believable. PS, I WANT MY $20 BACK!
Holly had been with Gerry since she was 19, which perhaps explains (but doesn’t excuse) her whiny/ argumentative nature when they’re together and any chemistry they do share is over shadowed by her immaturity. Most of their discussions center around her fear of children, financial instability and discontentment with where they live. There IS light at the end of the tunnel, since this is only the first 45 minutes of the film. She spends the remaining 80 MINUTES dealing with his loss and the realization that she acted like a bitch. She has the emotional stability of a 5 year old.
PS, Holly is (**plot spoiler**) obessed with shoes.
Perhaps this too is a spoiler, but…. Hilary Swank has giant baby eating teeth. I actually started a new line so that that sentence could have it’s OWN paragraph. With her manly features, I can understand why she got the parts in BOYS DON’T CRY and MILLION DOLLAR BABY. Even the stylish dresses in her wardrobe couldn’t distract me from her horse face, and GIANT FUCKING TEETH!!
This movie is about as cute as two hairless dogs fucking. (Gillman has videos if you’re interested). Its 2 PAINFUL hours of the most cliche bullshit I’ve ever seen… not to mention there’s something horribly creepy about receiving letters post-mortum from your dead husband.
Daniel (Harry Connick Jr,) who works at Holly’s mother’s bar, has some great lines of brutal honesty but they weren’t interesting enough to remember. Lisa Kurdow’s experience with 30 seasons of Friends really shows, as she stands out among a cast chock full of mediocre B-List actors. Without her one-liners and commentary on men, the dialogue would be as crusty as Kathy Bates vagina. Gina Gershon hasn’t had a good performance since… NEVER, and in this film she doesn’t disappoint.
The film was so heavily dubbed with the musical score and soundtrack, almost forcing you from scene to scene like bright yellow arrows leading the general unwashed to the Budweiser stand at a NASCAR event. This is probably for the best, since character development, quality writing and acting are highly overrated.
Why is this entertainment. There is no depth to this movie. It was stale like the $8 pretzel bites I left on the seat next to me. The vortex of simple cheesy Hollywood bullshit will sweep you off your feet and pitch you headfirst into the rows below. I watched, in full expectation of every scene, and left with no surprises.
The only high point of the whole experience was the ride home.
My rating: 4/10
Let us know what you really think!
That is exactly what Ex said.
So after reading this post, will there be an ex for ex-cowboy?
Tell me, though, does Gina Gershon every fully close her mouth in the movie? I’ve been waiting more than a decade to see a picture of her with her mouth closed. I don’t think she can physically do it.
If Gina Gershon ever does get her mouth closed, it will be the end of her career…how do you think she gets the work she does? You didn’t think it was her acting talent, did you??