Surrogates Review (Philip’s Take)

There are certain things, rules if you will, that should adhere to all Bruce Willis action vehicles. The first being him mouthing off to any and every one who opposes his authority. The second is Willis being shot at eighty billion times, followed by him serving up the best kinds of ass-kicking (a.k.a. rule number three.) Die Hard established this quite well, and it was followed by three very awesome sequels that all kept to these rules. Even Armageddon, in all it’s super amazing badness, is able to stay within the confines of these rules, replacing the shooting with a giant asteroid flinging debris everywhere. Surrogates attempts to humanize Willis, taking everything one loves about the man and making it the exact opposite. As you might’ve guessed, the world is a much, much worse place because of this.

But that’s not the real reason why Surrogates is a stream of terrible. The script, penned by Michael Ferris and John D. Brancanto, further proves those two should stay away from writing. I can’t comment on the graphic novel the film is based off of, but what is noticeable is that Brancanto and Ferris miss the point of solid sci-fi. True, the idea behind the film and comic is intriguing and closer to life than you might think (think PlayStation Home or even the Mii’s,) but in the hands of an experienced sci-fi guru the script would have flirted with both the good and bad of having surrogates around, never choosing a side. Here, the filmmakers choose to establish their stance on if surrogates help or hurt humankind.

It wouldn’t feel like such torture to sit through if the script was just better period. There’s a new weapon that kills operators connected to their surrogates, but the film never gives an explanation as to why or how this weapon can do that. No one’s asking for a five-minute monologue on the weapon, but a line of dialogue would have sufficed (i.e. – “The body cannot live without the mind.”) The script is fairly predictable as well, as one could almost take bets as to what cliche the film will fall back on next. Of course this is assuming one cares enough about anything going on in this picture to care enough.

Mostow’s equally to blame though, and I couldn’t help but feel he’s still ill over Terminator 3 when watching this. Where in that abomination he was able to craft a decent crane sequence, Mostow creates action pieces for this film that have one unengaged. None of it is organic, which could have worked, but it’s also poorly shot. Cars are heard crashing into one another during a motorcycle chase but one wouldn’t know as he seemingly lost his eye for shooting action in his six year hiatus. His biggest accomplishment with his latest venture is making a Bruce Willis action film boring and featuring very little of said poorly shot action. Mostow also fails at using music to create suspense, tension or excitement.  Instead he uses loud beats to emphasize an important character or line of dialogue in a ridiculously stupid yet hilarious manner. To his and the production design’s credit though, it is appreciated that they did give the surrogates a make-up job that makes them look phony and glossy. The production team also does a solid job at trying to make this world believable with subtle touches such as grimey fingernails for James Cromwell’s Lionel Canter. It’s an appreciated effort that should have gone into a better film.

Is Bruce Willis’ performance phony? More like phoned-in, as he appears bored as Tom Greer. Willis is capable of solid acting as he’s displayed in Unbreakable and Pulp Fiction and certainly there’s no one better to command an action vehicle. As mentioned, this is Bruce Willis being very un-Bruce Willis. While it’s obvious he’s not trying, Rosamund Pike is nobe in her attempts to act. In fact at times she almost has one convinced, but she’s not the type who can turn something out of nothing. She has no real chemistry with Willis, and her reactions at times are as phony as a surrogate. Radha Mitchell is about as lively as her surrogate, and the few chances she gets to actually act seem to come and go with a whim. Not that it’s a bother as she doesn’t capture the “Super Badass Female Woman” aura when she’s asked to. Ving Rhames plays a character named The Prophet, and takes the role as seriously as anyone should take this film. As much as I like him, James Cromwell playing ‘evil scientist’ is getting pretty tiresome and essentially, he does nothing we haven’t seen before. Out of the rest of the supporters, the film lets us know that Buzz from Home Alone is still alive. That’s right, Devin Ratray is here and has expanded both his hair and body mass. Too easy, I know.

Surrogates has an interesting concept that was mucked by a poor script and a director who can’t give the film an identity. He seems to want it to have a B-movie mentality, but plays the entire thing with serious, straight face. Parts of it become laughable, and it doesn’t help that none of the actors are connected to the story. The filmmakers are telling a completely straightforward story, yet want it to be completely ambiguous. At the end of the line though, the surrogates themselves are a nice metaphor for the film: it all looks great, but severely lack the human element to make it something worthwhile.