“When my days are over will this soul of mine actually leave this body?… Or is the funeral home guy plotting on me?”

Synopsis: After a horrific car accident, Anna (Christina Ricci) wakes up to find the local funeral director Eliot Deacon (Liam Neeson) preparing her body for her funeral. Confused, terrified and feeling still very much alive, Anna doesn’t believe she’s dead, despite the funeral directors reassurances that she is merely in transition to the afterlife. Eliot convinces her he has the ability to communicate with the dead and is the only one who can help her. Trapped inside the funeral home, with nobody to turn to except Eliot, Anna is forced to face her deepest fears and accept her own death. But Anna’s grief-stricken boyfriend Paul (Justin Long) still can’t shake the nagging suspicion that Eliot isn’t what he appears to be. As the funeral nears, Paul gets closer to unlocking the disturbing truth, but it could be too late; Anna may have already begun to cross over to the other side.

Hard to believe that After.Life ended up the way it did. What seemed like a strong cast of actors turned into a devastating upset. Nobody benefits from watching this film except maybe adolescent males. The combo of being naked and Christina Ricci seem to go hand in hand these days. Someone loves to add a few more camera minutes of her bare body to each new film she stars in. No complaints from the adolescent male in me but the lady of the flesh was the innocent little girl from Casper. Wardrobe must have been simple. With all the extra time they still went out and cast the Mac computer guy as her boyfriend. I must admit his acting has improved (a smidge) since his eye-grabbing performance in Jeepers Creepers but the lad’s talents are much better suited to selling computers.

If there was one actor that shone slightly brighter than the many dull sparkles in After.Life it would be Mr. Unstoppable, Liam Neeson. As a deeply disturbed funeral director with his own sick motives, he weaves thoughts of death into the body of his work. He never once dropped the calm, cool and collected persona of a man that stitches up dead carcasses for a living. After seeing him play the desperate father in Taken, I did not enjoy watching him weasel his way through 90-plus minutes of fraudulent acting hoping to catch another glimpse of Ricci in the nude.

Honestly, if you plan on going to see this film to get scared you will be deeply disappointed. If they are showing this film in the afterlife, I’m going to have to demand an express ticket to hell.

Rating: ★½☆☆☆ 

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Here he comes…here comes Speed Racer. He’s a demon on wheels.

I am a big Speed Racer fan. I used to rush home after school to catch Speed Racer before doing my homework. I even wanted to paint my bike white and put a red 5 on the side to make it my Mach 5. So I was stoked when I started seeing advertisements for this movie months ago. I couldn’t wait to see how one of my boyhood shows would be turned into a motion picture.

This movie is a cornucopia of colors, sights, and sounds. For everything that was wrong with the last two Matrix movies, the Wachowski brothers managed to do everything right with this one. They not only captured the essence of the American “Speed Racer” but they also were able to tap into the Japanese original “Mach Go Go Go” for further inspiration.

The movie starts with Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) driving like a demon on wheels at Thunderhead race track. He’s not only trying to win the race but he’s also trying to chase after his dream of being like his older brother, Rex Racer (Scott Porter).

Pops (John Goodman) is the matriarch of the family and the designer of the famous Mach 5. He is supported by his loving wife Mom Racer (Susan Sarandon). Also with the family is younger son Spritle (Paulie Litt) and his pet Chim-Chim the monkey. Pops can’t do everything alone so he has long time family friend Sparky (Kick Gurry) as the mechanic of the group but also Speed’s race day spotter. Rounding out the family is Speed’s girlfriend Trixie (Christina Ricci) who has been there for speed since grade school.

There is more to this movie then the racing. There is a story of big business corruption and how it is taking over the World Racing League by fixing races. One such business is Royalton Industries headed by A.Royalton (Roger Allam). He’ll stop at nothing to get what he wants and if that means paying off drivers to stop Speed from winning then that’s what he’ll do.

Trying to stop him is the CIB, an international law organization that has a few tricks of their own. The lead investigator, Inspector Detector (Benno Fürmann), has a driver that will stop the corruption of the WRL by brining justices back…Racer X (Matthew Fox) is that driver. But he can’t do it alone so he enlists the aid of Speed Racer to help crack the case and bring Royalton’s company down.

The Wachowskis were able to do something new and fresh with the races and make the cars seem alive. Each race left you breathless and waiting for more as you watched the stunning driving of Speed Racer and the other drivers. From the beginning race at Thunderhead to the final Grand Prix you will be amazed at the acrobatic movements of the automobiles.

The casting was perfect. Each actor selected was able to channel their animated counterpart. This movie has plenty of action, adventure, and humor for all to enjoy.

Speed Racer is distributed by Warner Brothers, written and directed by the Wachowski brothers. It is rated PG for sequences of action, some violence and language.

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆