How does one begin to approach a film they wanted to like?

Before viewing 9, the film had a lot of things in its favor, the first being absolutely stunning visuals. That looked to be aided by a strong, possibly original premise about a stitchpunk (my gamer side tells me to stick to “Sackboy”) being the key to humanity’s salvation. Factor in that Tim Burton’s producing, as well as Timur Bekmambetov who dazzled screens with Wanted, and you have what should be a pretty decent animated film.

9 makes sure you know it’s not going to be decent midway through. The plot borrows from every story ever written or filmed about the unlikely hero who is the savior of the universe. Understandably, the trailers did hint that this would be the central driving force but they also pretended that 9 was going to do something interesting with it. It doesn’t, and borrows very, very heavily from The Lord of the Rings and Burton’s own Edward Scissorhands. The filmmakers even go so far as to rip off the ending to the Mortal Kombat film (for the record, if you have to borrow from Paul W.S. Anderson of all people, you need your filmmaking privileges revoked.) Bottom line, Pamela Pettler and Ben Gluck’s screenplay plays it too safe and is definitely relying more on the looks of the characters to make audiences forget they didn’t bring it with a story. The pacing is also off for a film that runs under an hour and a half. Quite honestly, it feels longer than some other three hour films I’ve seen this year that moved along briskly.

Too bad 9 isn’t a very likable being. He’s described as “always willing to risk his life for others” and without giving too much away, the opposite is always happening to him and the others(there’s even a scene that explicitly shows this.) In fact I can’t recall a scene where the title character ever risks his life to save another, as everyone is always bailing him out when he’s not putting their lives at stake. Even if he’s voiced by Elijah Wood, it’s still tough to find things to like about him. Nine times out of ten he’s getting bailed out by 7, voiced by Jennifer Connelly. Who is she? The movie doesn’t explain, but she sure can take down metallic beasts stylistically. Connelly doesn’t know with the role, and comes off unnatural.

Only two of the sackpersons…I mean stitchpunks have any sort of backbone to them; Crispin Glover’s not-so-subtle Holocaust victim 6 and an ‘evil’ dictator 1 portrayed by Christopher Plummer. First Glover, who is the most likable of the bunch. He might be crazy, sure, but Glover handles the part exceptionally and who better than George McFly to play the part. Plummer’s a different matter as he’s sort of accustomed to playing the villain in animation films this year. While Charles Muntz had considerably more development, Plummer does his best to make 1 three-dimensional and succeeds with grace.

9 isn’t a complete bust though, as Acker does succeed at creating absolutely gorgeous visuals. Often times one will get so lost in the visuals and assume they’re looking at an actual landscape instead of computer generated images. Even the cartoonish designs of the humans look like physically deformed individuals. Every little stitch is detailed on the characters, as is every spec of dirt and rust on the items left behind comes in crystal clear. Praise should also be given to the designs of the the machines that inhabit this world. The Burton influence is definitely felt, but these machines are particularly terrifying in the way they look and operate. The Seamstress sticks out the most, as she toys with her prey before snatching them up. From the doll head to her snake like movements, she’ll likely crawl into children’s minds and scare them.

Of course that’s assuming children want to see the film. Where Burton’s other animated ventures has a certain charm to them, 9 alienates itself by being overly dark. Again, that’s also fine provided you have a solid story and relatable characters (see: Coraline.) While the visuals are certainly pristine in 9, it severely lacks everything required to make a solid film. The story is bland, an unlikable lead, pretty visuals and meh characters do not a good film make. Yet, this movie’s biggest problem is who will it be marketed for? It can’t marketed for kids as it’s too dark with no charm, and adults will likely lose interest quick due to the awkward pacing. Maybe that’s a blessing in  disguise, as this film doesn’t really deserve Up numbers.

Do make sure you check out our 9 giveaway while you are here!

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ 

While we wait for the release of Shane Acker’s post-apocalyptic animated tale of sentient rag dolls in 9, we could do any number of activities. We could try and cut our grocery bill. We could wash the car and cash in the sticky loose change or we could just ogle the new one-sheet poster.

Even though to some people this might not be a suitable Under the Radar, there are still a fair amount of people (even among my peers) who have no idea what it is when someone mentions Shane Acker’s 9. Being pumped up by Focus Features, 9 is a cgi animated movie that seems, to this reporter, to hold a mix of Coraline and a sprinkle of Tim Burton within the layers of this post apocalyptic feature. Originally coming from the short animated film of the same titling that was nominated for an Academy Award in 2005, the creation coming from up and comer director and writer Shane Acker will be storming into theaters.

9 takes place in a world parallel to our own, in which the very legacy of humanity is threatened. A group of sapient rag dolls, living a post-apocalyptic existence find one of their own, 9 (Elijah Wood), who displays leadership qualities that may help them to survive. The conflicted but resilient group includes 1 (Christopher Plummer), a domineering war veteran; 2 (Martin Landau), an aged inventor; 5 (John C. Reilly), a stalwart mechanic; 6 (Crispin Glover), a visionary and artist; and 7 (Jennifer Connelly), a brave warrior.

9 will be released in theaters everywhere on September 9th, so show your love for Under the Radar and see it when it comes out.