I must confess, I’m rather intrigued by Kevin Smith’s Cop Out. How, exactly, did a big budget movie with a roster of talent like this end up so terrible?  Willis looks sad, bored and tired, Morgan bops and babbles like he’s full of Ketamines, and Kevin Smith doesn’t even seem to have been on the set. Many have been buzzing about the director’s weight fiasco last week, but I say cut the guy some slack. It’s really his new movie that’s the fat, bloated slob.

Where do we begin and who’s to blame? Probably everyone, but as is usually the case, we could start with the script. I’m not the world’s biggest Smith fan, but the trouble starts here with the fact he didn’t write this one himself. I’m not actually sure anyone wrote it, despite the fact we have names in the credits. It feels like they filmed a series of notes scrawled on the back of a coaster at Chili’s by a bunch of guys drunkenly rehashing half-remembered buddy cop movies. In the places where there were memorable chase scenes and witty comaraderie, they just filled it in with actors flashing guns at the camera and Tracey Morgan waxing poetic about his bowel condition.

One is tempted to point an accusing finger at the tired, old formula, but that would be silly. The formula works and it has given us a number of good entries like the Lethal Weapon movies, Rush Hour, and Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang (yea, I know they weren’t technically cops). Cop Out just doesn’t seem to understand the formula, and as a result it flails about aimlessly trying to find something to hold onto.

The basics are here; Willis is a divorced cop whose struggling with his teenage daughter, estranged wife and her smarmy second husband. Morgan is his partner, and as the plot requires, also a sassy black man. The potentially interesting twist, that he’s also frightfully insecure about his wife’s fidelity, is smashed into pieces and emerges as the film’s most clueless and wrong-headed attempt at comedy.

The two of them end up embarking on a series of misadventures (or is it misfires?) that pit them against a Latino druglord, an annoying cat burglar who practices Parkour, and the typically beautiful woman on the run from the bad guys. We get scenes of the police chief chastizing their methods and taking their badges, Willis smiling coyly and firing his gun haphazardly in the general direction of the perps, and an extra added bonus involving Morgan tailing a suspect on a kid’s bike while wearing a giant cellphone costume. Hardy har-har.

The cast is surprisingly flat and bland. None of them bring any of what we expect to the table. I usually like Willis, whether he’s going daftly over-the-top (The Fifth Element) or building subtle nuance into his characters (The Sixth Sense). But here, he doesn’t seem to be playing anything. He just stands there, looking forlorn and waiting for Die Hard 5 to pick him up at the bus stop so he can leave the movie. Sean William Scott shows up as the thief, and he’s beyond annoying; he’s mind numbing.  He tries to make that old “guy repeats everything the others say” routine feel like it wasn’t shuttled off the preschool playground. Obviously, he fails. Michelle Trachtenberg as Willis’ daughter and  Rashida Jones as Morgan’s wife are just wasted pretty faces. The villain of the piece is so eye rollingly bad in his role, I’d feel bad singling the actor out. The only one really trying here is Tracey Morgan.

That’s right. Tracey gives the movie his all. He’s approaching the role not as an actor examining a character but as a star trying to outshine the rest of the film. He screams, he smirks, he rails on and on with jokes that weren’t funny when they started, and if the movie had continued I’m perfectly confident he would have eventually donned a tophat, played the kazoo and started moonwalking next to Willis.

I think Morgan can be funny when he has someone who knows how to channel and direct his brand of comedic energy, but here, stranded alone with Willis on lunch break, he goes overboard. The result is like watching a man courageously save a woman from drowning and try to pump air back into her lungs while everyone else watching can see all too clearly she’s long dead.

Finally, there’s Kevin Smith. I cannot see a single mark of his style, humor, or instinct anywhere on this picture. The friend I saw this with commented “If I didn’t know better I’d just assume this was some other Kevin Smith”. He’s right, for as much as it matters to the final result, C.More Butts could have directed this movie; it’s cookie cutter all the way.

There’s really not much more to say. This is a complete failure, albeit there are one or two jokes that almost hit the mark. Worst of all, you could substitute all the collaboraters with unknowns and the result would be the same.  I went into this movie curious, wondering what a cop comedy starring Willis and Morgan  and directed by Smith would look like. Strangely, I’m still wondering.

Rating: ★½☆☆☆ 

This Friday, Bruce Willis will be seen in Kevin Smith’s new action-comedy Cop Out, no doubt expertly sending up the kind of action-hero supercop character that he helped to define in 1988′s seminal Die Hard. Willis has since reprised his role of New York cop John McClane in three hugely successful sequels, and he recently told the MTV Movies Blog that we may be seeing McClane back on the big screen sooner than most expected.

“The John McClane that exists is only in film and in people’s minds. And it continues to grow, that mythology continues to grow. I think we’re going to do a ‘Die Hard 5′ next year.”

Willis seems pretty gung-ho about adding a new installment to the franchise, and he has a few ideas about the direction of the film and who he wants to handle it.

So how does Bruce want to approach the ever-increasing scope of the series?

“Well it’s got to go worldwide,” Willis concluded. “That would be my contribution to [the next movie].”

And who does he think should be behind the camera?

I would hire Len Wiseman right now,” he said, referring to the director of the well-received fourth chapter in the series, 2007 release “Live Free or Die Hard.”

During the interview, Willis also commented on his reasons for simultaneously contributing the blockbuster action fare that he helped to create while at the same time starring in a project like Cop Out, which hilariously parodies the genre.

“I take a certain amount of pride in being part of that, and the fact that I still get to do it, but I like so much more making fun of it, taking the piss out of it and not making it a big deal. Not making the fact that I’ve acted in a lot of movies a big deal. It’s all illusion and it’s all bulls–t and it’s a great job for me to have, but everything else you can set on fire. Making people laugh is the real deal.”

So what’s your opinion? Should the Die Hard series continue or should John McClane turn in his badge? Sound off in our comments section.

How long is too long for a sequel? Really, how long do you think is too long for a sequel before it becomes something it shouldn’t be? 5 years? 10years? 15 years? 20 years or more?

Let me start off with the definition of what a Sequel truly is:

A sequel is a work of fiction in literature, film, and other creative media, that is produced after a completed work, and set in the same “universe”, usually following the events of the original. It continues elements of the original story, often with the same characters and settings. A sequel is similar to a series, in which the same character appears in a number of stories, although the distinction is arbitrary, and some media franchises have enough sequels to effectively become a series, whether originally planned as such or not.

In the last couple of months we have seen a few sequels to well known films pop up. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Lost Boys 2, are just a few of the films being brought back from the dead. Lost Boys 2 is coming to a theater almost 20 years after its first debut. “Indiana Jones” is strapping on his hat one more time after a vacation of 19 years. And how can we not forget about “Terminator” making a come back in 2003 after a hiatus of over 12 years. These are just some of the sequels that make me wonder why?

Stallone has become the king of sequels with 2 films bringing in over 7 sequels all while creating two of the most likeable characters on film in Rocky and John Rambo. We can’t forget Rocky and his latest try for a belt almost 30 years after we first saw him in the ring in 1976.

Should “Rambo” stop killing hundreds of people in a few minutes time? Should “Rocky” stop getting punched so much? It looks like Rambo is coming back around for number 5!!

In my opinion yes! And a resounding “yes!” at that. After Rocky 4 it went downhill. Rambo should of been left alone after the second film.I hate to see a film made just to bring someone back from the “dead” for the sake of money. I know that is what the Studio’s do day in and day out but come on folks!

For all of you “Star Wars” fans out there… dare I say how bad the last three films were? The first three films recently given to us by Mr Lucas in my eyes ruined the franchise. The filming, acting, special effects etc all ruined the original experience after all of those years of loving something for what it was. The gap in between was too big and too long ago for it to be a success.

With actors such as Arnold, Harrison, Bruce (can’t forget the Die Hard series) and Sylvester growing older every second, is this a ploy to bring us the best in entertainment or just to make some extra cash on a name for the big studios?

Pros:

• Name: The name could bring back an audience.
• Story: If the writing was done well and the movie was a hit, why not try and bring back us more.

I think overall a sequel is a sure thing if done correctly with the same people involved as the 1st.

Cons:

• Sequels always have the possibility of going wrong. An actor doesn’t sign back on, the directing and or writing crew is no longer interested or time constraints wont allow for it.
• Lapse in audience. The audience may of outgrown their love or interest of the film or lost touch with it over time.

So when is enough, really enough? After 5 years? After 10 years? I understand there will always be the exception to the rule such as the production schedule or special effects etc, but when has enough time passed when we consider a film “dead” in the best sense of the word?

I know I have forgotten many classic sequels, horror sequels, films that should have not been made in the 1st place, but I have captured some of the characters in my mind that actually have places in the hearts of most movie addicts.
Questions to you, the readers:

What is the ultimate motive of folks involved with a sequel? Do we need a sequel after 30 years? Am I a horrible movie fan?

What are your thoughts? I would love to hear them!

A pretty sweet shot of the upcoming Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull movie. Something a lot of us die hard Indy fans have been awaiting for years now. Thanks to comingsoon.net for the sneak peak!

This will definitely be something I will be in the theaters for. Hopefully at a sneak peak!! (hint hint for anyone out there able to provide us with help in this area)

For high res check it out here.