Almost everyone performed a Britney Spears song while under the influence of nitrous oxide dispensed by John Stamos, D.D.S. Dr. Carl, Emma’s new boyfriend. I can’t get beyond this story from “Britney/Brittany” so I’ll rely on all of you to remind me of anything else that happened this week on Glee.

Dr. Carl should have his license revoked. Seriously, he flirts with high school students more than he flirts with his own girlfriend. Side note- shouldn’t there be another, more popular term, for the significant other of an adult? I vote we limit the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” to high school and college relationships. Did I mention that Dr. Carl administers nitrous oxide to just about anyone, whether or not it is medically necessary? I hate that John Stamos’ cameo has been ruined for me because he plays a complete creep!

And Rachel’s teeth turned completely blue after chewing a disclosing tablet? Yuck! I mean, she’s still pretty and I like that she flosses her teeth a minimum 5-6 times a day (my dad is a dentist) but maybe a little Sonicare wouldn’t be such an unwelcome addition to her inbetween classes routine?.

I’d like to see Santana not so trashy. I did not care for Brittany’s mean girl act. I agree with Dr. Carl that Will needs to be wearing a Night Guard, I imagine both Emma and Sue would also benefit from said dental appliance. Maybe the biggest reason I didn’t enjoy this week’s episode, other than Britney overload, was the minimal use of Jane Lynch. Jane Lynch is the oil this machine needs to run like… you know

Is anyone entertained by the, mostly forced, relationship drama between Rachel and Finn? Or Will and Emma? I can’t figure out where I want this show to go. Where do you see these stories going?

Rachel turns on survival mode with the arrival of a new foreign exchange student who can belt out Lady Gaga like, well, Lady Gaga. Finn was kicked off the football team. Will, and New Directions, learn that their third place finish last year did not earn them any cool points as they are still the butt of every joke told in the halls and classrooms of McKinley High  “And that’s what you missed on Glee.”

I really wish that the first episode of a new season didn’t feel the need to spell out everything that happened in the previous season. Glee accomplished this task terribly with a jump cut crazed fake news report starring that blogger Jacob(he is a student, right?) and the members of New Directions. I like it better when my favorite television program doesn’t wink at me.

Anyway Glee did gracefully get back into the swing of things pretty quickly. Finn and Rachel are dating and doing their best to act like an old married couple, I say “act” because you could hear them reading the dialogue for their fight. I mentioned Finn got kicked off the football team, that’s because coach Tanaka had a nervous breakdown and his replacement, a woman, doesn’t like Finn’s attitude. Specifically Finn plastering glee club flyers in the boy’s locker room and trying to get coach Beiste (it’s French) to give Artie a spot on the football roster. Artie (and Finn) thought he could be a cannonball, coach Beiste thought Artie could be a public relations nightmare so Finn’s off the team and problem is supposedly solved (though not really cuz Artie could still try out for the team and there’s nothing coach Beiste could do about that but I’m not here to split hairs.) Rachel is Rachel and although she acts plenty confident she’s as insecure as a vault with a chain lock. By the end of the episode Rachel’s greatest fear transfers to Carmel High to be the new lead for Vocal Adrenaline, talk about conflict resolution/foreshadowing. Finn tells us he’s a nobody because he’s not on the football team, so I guess we’ll keep believing that until he triumphantly regains his roster spot and starting position because he’s too pretty not to be popular (and he told us that he won’t be popular if he’s not on the football team, promise.).

Sadly without a bun in the oven Quinn seems like a fringe character, unless she finds some new drama (this is high school) to catch our attention (Finn better keep his guard up).

Coach Beiste. I’ll be honest- I thought coach Tanaka had a sex change. Well he didn’t and coach Beiste is here, presumably, to stay. Beiste and Sue are either blood sisters or perfect enemies, I can’t figure out which one. Oddly Sue and Will team up for much of the episode to give the budget hogging Beiste a hard time but as we all saw it coming from a mile away- Will couldn’t be that mean and apologized to coach Beiste. Will is a nice guy that’s why I like Sue.

Sue is why I’m still here. So without further ado, quotes from Sue-

“Think your kids can manage life without their daddy?”

“First of all female football coach like a male nurse- sin against nature.”

“You’ll deafen them with the sound of your stretch marks rubbing together.”

Now it’s time for the quote of the season, can’t believe I’m saying this, from Rachel-

“YOU LIKE ME SING. YOU LIKE ME SING VERY MUCH.”

What’d you think this episode? What do you think of the new additions to the cast? Did Lea Michele have those wonderful bangs last season?

In an unsurprising move, Fox revealed that Avatar will be re-released on August 27th to theaters around the country.

James Cameron has added eight minutes of deleted scenes back into the movie, which seems a little weird. He had previously stated that there were over 20 minutes of material that didn’t make it into the final cut. However, as Steve Weintraub of Collider pointed out, originally Avatar was 162 minutes long. The IMAX format can only support films up to 170 minutes long. (due to the large film, I presume) Basically, Cameron was limited by the format.

I am still amazed at the success of this movie. I mean, everyone went to see it. Its audience transcended every barrier: age, gender, it didn’t matter. Avatar made 2,730,829,876 in worldwide box office. Anyway, come August, that number will only get closer to 3 billion.

Here’s Fox’s official press release:

On August 27, return to Pandora and re-experience James Cameron’s History-Making Epic film, with more than Eight Minutes of Never Before Seen Footage- exclusively in Digital 3D and IMAX® 3D. Since – and largely as of result of – AVATAR’s release last December, the number of available digital 3D screens has exploded, and moviegoers who missed experiencing the film in 3D, as well as fans that want to return to Pandora again, will now have that opportunity. The Oscar® and Golden Globe® winning epic is the highest grossing film of all time, taking in over $2.7 billion in worldwide box office. It is also the top-selling Blu-ray disc of all time.

So, if you somehow missed it the first time, or just want to see the film again as it was intended to be viewed, make sure you get out in late August for a sure-fire spectacular end to this summer movie season.

Quinn gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl. New Directions did not win Regionals however Sue, one of four judges at Regionals, actually voted for New Directions. Sue also bought New Directions another year at McKinley High because she can’t imagine a world without the butt of all her jokes. Coach Corcoran adopted Quinn’s baby and named her Beth (the name Puck wanted to give her) “And that’s what you missed on Glee.”

“I have to be honest, Will. I’m having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou.” Sue just referenced the first film I ever saw in theater- Song of the South (re-released in 1986). I can’t stop loving Sue.

Finn telling Rachel that he loves her seemed forced. After “Journey” ended that moment seemed even more out of place as it led to absolutely nothing. I know this is just a preview of a season two storyline but p-lease.

Sometimes I wish there were a bigger gap between popular karaoke song selections and those songs performed by New Directions (thanks to Tony Romo’s love of all things Journey I now long for the days of Rick James and the original karaoke classic Super Freak) I’m saying I would’ve voted for Vocal Adrenaline if I were a part of that star studded judges panel. Which judge’s presence surprised you more- Josh Groban or Olivia Newton-John making her second guest appearance on Glee?

WHOA QUINN’S WATER JUST BROKE, pitch perfect emotional note.

What does it say about Rachel that she was, seemingly, the only member of New Directions not at the hospital for the birth of Quinn’s baby? How much did you like the Quinn delivering her baby/Vocal Adrenaline performing Bohemian Rhapsody scene? That scene saved the episode for me.

A few quotes and notes:

“Newton-John? You’re dead to me.” Sue is heating up.

Groban raising his hand to speak during the judges deliberation was classic, I’m hating him less and less by the minute.

“Kiss my ass Josh Groban!” Sue is on fire!

So glad Vocal Adrenaline won, I was very worried that we were about to get the New Directions wins fairy tale ending.

Running Wilde just earned a spot on my DVR. Will Arnett is always welcome in my home.

Will and Emma also seems like a very forced romance that we’ll have to endure in season two.

I miss the days of the kids getting slushied.

Now I’d like to see your score sheets, what did you think of this season finale? What do you think of this first season? What do you expect from season two?

“So here’s what you missed on Glee” With Regionals looming Vocal Adrenaline successfully puts New Directions in a funk. Funky Quinn and Mercedes friendship takes a big step- Mercedes asks Quinn to move into the extra bedroom at her house. Will gets sweet disgusting revenge on Sue and we all have to witness it. “And that’s what you missed on Glee“

“You know, for me, trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them, but they just keep coming. You know why? Sue Sylvester has hourly flair-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent.” Although I am not a fan of the Sue/Will mini-romance I was happy to see Sue back so early in the episode and spitting terrific one-liners like the old days.

Jesse’s right hand man girl looks no younger than 35 years old. Dawson, Kritzer & Ulrich- please do your job.

“Thinking ‘trust me’ was a sensible birth control option.” Sweet Quinn…

Anybody else surprised by how hard Rachel’s taking Jesse’s betrayal? I mean, she just found and lost her mom last week…

“Their school statue is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. It weighs three tons.” Which reminds me, doesn’t Carmel High seem like the perfect fit for Sue? And I luvvvvvv that the entire Vocal Adrenaline glee club drives Range Rovers (a reward from a win at Sectionals.) Again- when is Sue leaving McKinley for Carmel??

“I’ve recently redone my bathroom as an homage to Miss Jayne Mansfield.” Sometimes I think Glee could use a little more Tobolowsky, do you agree?

It’s been a while but I really enjoyed most all of the music in “Funk.” From Beck’s “Loser” to James Brown’s “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World”, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch (Good Vibrations), Queen (Another One Bights the Dust), and of course Parliament’s “Give Up the Funk.” Sorry Will, I hated everything about “Tell Me Something Good.” And when Will spoke fluent Spanish to Sue’s maid I was reminded, for the first time all season, that he is not only the coach  of McKinley High’s glee club but he is also McKinley High’s Spanish teacher. How poor would your Spanish speaking skills be if your high school teacher were Will Schuester and your community college professor were Community‘s Señor Chang? Just what if?

Next week’s the season finale, what do you expect from Regionals?

“acheivable? acheivatate? acheivalize?”

I’m still searching Wikipedia to find out which word most people believe is a real word…

Sorry, I just can’t put “Theatricality” into a three point recap because, at least for myself, some of the most entertaining moments of this episode were just that- moments not stories. I don’t know, obviously everything is a part of some story so when we find out that Principal Figgins believes that vampires are real you have to thank the Tina or Lady Gaga story line. As Tina figures out (the hard way) be yourself, don’t change for anyone.

“This is totally gonna get Robert Pattinson’s attention.”

Then there’s the Kurt and Finn story, or Finn and Kurt story depending on whose side you’re on. Finn’s mom accepts Kurt’s dad’s offer to move in only Finn’s uncomfortable with that because, at least for a little while, Kurt and Finn will have to share a room and Finn knows that Kurt likes him. The lesson that Finn learns over the course of the episode is that he has “a lot to learn” -would someone please tell me what Finn has to learn?

Finally Rachel and Coach Corcoran meet for the first time as daughter and mother. Rachel professes that she needs a mom (her two dads can’t sew). Sadly Coach Corcoran realizes that she’s not ready to have a full time relationship with her teenage daughter but promises to be around “from afar, for a while.” This relationship should continue to get interesting. I guess now would be the time to say- “That’s what you missed on Glee.”

No Sue this week

“Brad! He’s always just around.” Brad is the accompanist with the glasses and shaggy hair that knows and plays all songs on the piano for the club. I have often dreamt of an episode devoted completely to this very mysterious character. I expect a special feature devoted to Brad on the complete first season DVD.

“Yes, for several years in my early 20s, I dressed up as Elvis. But he was a Christian… and he did not possess the ability to transform into a bat!” thank you for that lovely nugget of gold Principal Figgins. I realize that I have not given Principal Figgins enough love and would like to take this time to say that I want more Figgins. Figgins! Figgins! Figgins!

Finally what are your thoughts on the almost fully developed trend of lyrics replacing more and more dialogue?

Gleeks unite! September 14th Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment releases the complete first season of GLEE on Blu-ray and DVD! You better believe there’s extras, here’s what series creator Ryan Murphy had to say about all of those wonderful extras you’ll find only on the  four-disc Blu-ray and seven-disc DVD set-

“The show started out as a comedy musical about the underdog in all of us and has blossomed, largely due to the incredible support and passion from the fans that have embraced the show…. When we developed the Blu-ray and DVD, we wanted to give those fans something special because they’ve been so great to us. There’s everything from a sing-along karaoke, to a behind-the-scenes look at our Madonna episode, to a dance lesson from our amazing choreographers. There’s even some all new Sue’s Corners which have never been seen before. It’s our ‘thank you’ to the Gleeks.”

If you haven’t seen an episode of GLEE yet then maybe these awards will help sway you- winner of the Golden Globe® for Best Television Series, Comedy or Musical. Winner! People’s Choice Award for Favorite New TV Comedy (Hello! That’s sayin’ somethin’ in a year that also debuted ABC’s Modern Family and NBC’s Community!) and winner of the Screen Actors Guild Award for Oustanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series (Again, they beat out Modern Family and Community!)

Here’s the official synopsis-

“GLEE follows an optimistic teacher who – against all odds and a malicious cheerleading coach – inspires McKinley High’s Glee Club to conquer the world one singing competition at a time.”

Goodness! I’m still thinkin’ about those special features! Why can’t the DVD’s be released next week?! What’re you looking forward to?

I’ll be honest and say that if it weren’t for the fact that this show takes place in and has been/is being shot in Dallas (God Bless Texas) then I probably never would have watched a single episode. But does it really matter what draws us to a particular program? The important stuff is what keeps us watching week after week and I think The Good Guys might have just enough of that sort of stuff.

First you’ve got the pretty good pairing of a mustachioed Bradley Whitford with Colin Hanks. As Whitford’s character Dan Stark said, ”good cop, sick cop” and Hanks’ character Jack is the good cop. Whitford, known best for his 7 years on The West Wing, plays the has-been, alcoholic, womanizing, Airstream livin’, old-school cop partner to Hanks’ straight laced, career driven, detective. Yes Colin is most famous for being the son of Hollywood legend Tom Hanks and there are moments when if you close your eyes you’d believe you were listening to Tom shouting at his wild hair partner. Let’s not hold that against Colin. Guest starring as the damsel in distress Nia Vardalos claims Whitford’s heart but I wouldn’t count on seeing her again in future episodes. I am interested in seeing who else joins the fun in Big D with the cast of The Good Guys.

This show is going to be fun (not 24 kind of fun but) buddy cop, action comedy fun and that’s just what the doctor order for summer 2010. Are you going to watch?