Hannah Montana

The best thing I can say about Hannah Montana: The Movie is that it proves Miley Cyrus can act. There’s a scene over midway through the film where the role requires her to cry her eyes out. Where most young actresses would have overplayed it, Miley delivers a pretty believable performance of a girl who’s on the brink of a breakdown. Throughout the rest of the film she’s better than you’d expect. Granted she’s still rough around the edges, but if she can get it under control, she’ll turn into a fine leading lady and should probably stick to acting.

I’m not going to bother detailing the plot because there are no intricacies here. It’s fairly simple and is what the trailers advertise and there’s not too much more depth than that. What I will discuss is how the middle of the film is the bright section of the story. The beginning has is a flashy intro remix of “The Best of Both Worlds” and has a really ridiculous chase with Miley, Lilly (Emily Osment) and a random security guard. Yes it’s Disney, where a lot of things happen that aren’t important to the story, but this just seemed completely out of place. Miley needs to sneak into her own show? I mean really, come on.

My main issue with the plot though is what the entire movie is about. This is where I’ll sacrifice my manhood and admit I’ve watched a number of episodes of “Hannah Montana” so as crazy as it is, I knew a little about the source. In the episodes I’ve seen, they never once hint that Miley Stewart (not Cyrus) is having too much fun being Hannah. The main focus of the story is Miley has become too wrapped up in being Hannah that she has to go “find ‘er roots” in Tennessee. I could buy it if they’d alluded to this on the show, but never once does Miley go overboard with being Hannah (well, maybe once but that was different.) This is the Hannah from the show who’s a sweet, wholesome gal. This Hannah is more of a Lindsay Lohan type who craves total attention and goes against continuity.

Without it though there would probably be no reason to go to Crowley Corners, and the best and stupidest parts of the entire Hannah Montana machine mesh together here. First the good, and that’s Margo Martindale. Martindale does a great job as Miley’s grandma Ruby and never feels like the stereotypical “Mamma told you so” type that’s been in so many films of recent. She’s comforting and most of all believable as a grandmother who would care for her family. On the opposite end of the spectrum Vanessa Williams is perfect as Miley’s agent. It’s the one you always see, but Williams just feels and acts comfortable in the role. Maybe it’s her voice that has that “control freak” vibe to it. The rest of the cast pretty serviceable with Billy Ray Cyrus playing himself and Lucas Till doing a fine job as Bucky Kentucky…I mean Travis Brody. The worst offender, though, is Peter Gunn who plays Oswald Granger. He’s not totally to blame as he drops out of the narrative and makes you forget about him, only to have you wish those moments lasted the whole film when he comes back in. He’s annoying and should not have been in the film to begin with.

(The next part are SPOILERS to the end of the film, so scroll down:)

The stupidest thing of the movie that’s going to kill it for adults dragged by their teen daughters is the ending. True – this film isn’t Rashomon but up until this bullspit ending I bought most of what they threw at me. The film ends with Miley/Hannah doing a performance to raise money for Crowley Corners so their community isn’t turned into a shopping mall. After all the havoc Hannah’s caused, Miley rips off her wig and reveals who she really is to her community. She sings “The Climb”, gets applauded…then a little girl shouts ‘We won’t tell your secret,’ to which the entire community agrees. I know who the demographic is and that this shouldn’t be taken seriously but I don’t see how even kids could buy that crap. Here would have been a perfect send off for the Hannah Montana franchise, even if Miley put the wig on for one last Hannah performance. Instead we’re supposed to buy an entire town isn’t going to spill the beans to the next reporter who offers X amount of dollars for Hannah’s secret. Even the closure with Oswald is monkey nut crazy. He has a change of heart quicker than Clark Kent turns to Superman. They fumbled the ball worse than Jay Cutler did against the Chargers last season with this ending. Trey and Matt might be right – the Mouse House thinks little girls are stupid as evidenced here.

(END SPOILERS)

Like another film that opened last week, this movie is critic-proof. Little girls are going to drag Mom and Dad to the Cineplex to feed more dollars to the machine. That’s fine, as I didn’t approach this from the mind of a twelve-year-old girl but to warn the adults what to expect when they’re forced to endure it. Miley Cyrus does better than expected and turns in a fine performance as both Hannah and Miley and that’s what saves this film from just another cash-in. She really should stay with acting over music as she’s clearly better at being on-screen. As a film, overall, Hannah Montana: The Movie is doable but falters at all the right places. It’s really not “The Best of Both Worlds.”

Rating: ★★½☆☆ 

Boom Boom Clap, Boom Dee Clap, Dee Clap. It’s the  hip-hop, hoedown throwdown. (see what I’m talking about here.)

Hip-hop and country. Like the Hannah Montana‘s theme song says, “You get the best of both worlds.” Ten minutes before the movie started, the two rows of what looked to be 14-year-old girls started singing the tv show theme song. Over and over again. The little 6- to 10-year-old girls that filled the rest of the theater were singing along and dancing in their seats. My 16-year-old daughter said with a big smile on her face, ‘Isn’t this fun?’ I said, with as much of a smile as I could muster, ‘A little bit.’

A little bit country. A little bit corny. A little bit touching. A little bit boring. Let’s face it, this movie is going to do really well because Hannah Montana is such a big Disney hit already. And her fans will not be disappointed. All of the show’s familiar faces, problems and hijinks are there. Montana’s brother Jackson (Jason Earles – anyone else think it’s really weird that this 32-year-old is playing an 18-year-old?) gets left out. Check. Trouble with Montana’s best friend Lilly (Emily Osment). Check. Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus) is having an identity crisis. Check. Montana buddies Rico (Moises Arias) and Oliver (Mitchell Musso) are involved in sight gags. Check. Hannah’s Dad (Billy Ray Cyrus) finds another opportunity to sing with his teen sensation. Check.

Then there’s some new stuff too. There’s a new family member – Grandma Ruby (Margo Martindale) who’s tender-hearted but tough, helping Miley walk through what’s important in life, like saving a town and remembering where she’s from. There’s a new boy for Miley to like; a real cowboy named Travis (Lucas Till) who can ride a horse, paint a barn and still have grown up feelings about being tricked by Miley’s alter ego. And then there are, of course,  new songs by Miley. “The Climb” is a decent song, but comes from the hokey “Life is a climb, but the view is great” line that gets said too many times. In fact, even once would have been too many times. The previously mentioned “Hoedown Throwdown” is fun and had dozens of people imitating the dance after the movie outside the theater. “Butterfly Fly Away,” which is done with her Dad, is a touching song that will, like “The Climb”, surely see some time on the charts. In fact, the soundtrack debuted at number 2 on the Billboard charts guaranteeing the Hannah Montana machine is not slowing down.

You also get a couple other songs that were fun additions to the not-quite-a-musical movie. Post-teen sensation Taylor Swift sings, “Crazier”. Billy Ray Cyrus sings his song, “Back to Tennessee”. And country supergroup Rascal Flats does acoustic versions of a couple of their hits: “Bless the Broken Road” and “Backwards”. It remains a mystery through the whole movie why Rascal Flats was at Ruby’s house in the first place singing in her living room and on her porch. It was good – but weird.

And that’s what I left thinking about the whole movie. It was good – but not great. Part musical. Part pre-teen comedy. Part teen angst. Part father-daughter drama. Parts of a lot of stuff that adds up to a movie trying to cover their bases from pre-teen to sixteen and their parents too. If you’ve got girls under the age of 16, you’ve probably already got them making plans to see it. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying it. Just enjoy it for what it is: Disney making you chuckle, and sometimes wince, while you tap your toes and sing along as they squeeze another few dollars out of you.

Rating: ★★★½☆ 

Rating: ★★½☆☆