I must confess, I’m rather intrigued by Kevin Smith’s Cop Out. How, exactly, did a big budget movie with a roster of talent like this end up so terrible?  Willis looks sad, bored and tired, Morgan bops and babbles like he’s full of Ketamines, and Kevin Smith doesn’t even seem to have been on the set. Many have been buzzing about the director’s weight fiasco last week, but I say cut the guy some slack. It’s really his new movie that’s the fat, bloated slob.

Where do we begin and who’s to blame? Probably everyone, but as is usually the case, we could start with the script. I’m not the world’s biggest Smith fan, but the trouble starts here with the fact he didn’t write this one himself. I’m not actually sure anyone wrote it, despite the fact we have names in the credits. It feels like they filmed a series of notes scrawled on the back of a coaster at Chili’s by a bunch of guys drunkenly rehashing half-remembered buddy cop movies. In the places where there were memorable chase scenes and witty comaraderie, they just filled it in with actors flashing guns at the camera and Tracey Morgan waxing poetic about his bowel condition.

One is tempted to point an accusing finger at the tired, old formula, but that would be silly. The formula works and it has given us a number of good entries like the Lethal Weapon movies, Rush Hour, and Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang (yea, I know they weren’t technically cops). Cop Out just doesn’t seem to understand the formula, and as a result it flails about aimlessly trying to find something to hold onto.

The basics are here; Willis is a divorced cop whose struggling with his teenage daughter, estranged wife and her smarmy second husband. Morgan is his partner, and as the plot requires, also a sassy black man. The potentially interesting twist, that he’s also frightfully insecure about his wife’s fidelity, is smashed into pieces and emerges as the film’s most clueless and wrong-headed attempt at comedy.

The two of them end up embarking on a series of misadventures (or is it misfires?) that pit them against a Latino druglord, an annoying cat burglar who practices Parkour, and the typically beautiful woman on the run from the bad guys. We get scenes of the police chief chastizing their methods and taking their badges, Willis smiling coyly and firing his gun haphazardly in the general direction of the perps, and an extra added bonus involving Morgan tailing a suspect on a kid’s bike while wearing a giant cellphone costume. Hardy har-har.

The cast is surprisingly flat and bland. None of them bring any of what we expect to the table. I usually like Willis, whether he’s going daftly over-the-top (The Fifth Element) or building subtle nuance into his characters (The Sixth Sense). But here, he doesn’t seem to be playing anything. He just stands there, looking forlorn and waiting for Die Hard 5 to pick him up at the bus stop so he can leave the movie. Sean William Scott shows up as the thief, and he’s beyond annoying; he’s mind numbing.  He tries to make that old “guy repeats everything the others say” routine feel like it wasn’t shuttled off the preschool playground. Obviously, he fails. Michelle Trachtenberg as Willis’ daughter and  Rashida Jones as Morgan’s wife are just wasted pretty faces. The villain of the piece is so eye rollingly bad in his role, I’d feel bad singling the actor out. The only one really trying here is Tracey Morgan.

That’s right. Tracey gives the movie his all. He’s approaching the role not as an actor examining a character but as a star trying to outshine the rest of the film. He screams, he smirks, he rails on and on with jokes that weren’t funny when they started, and if the movie had continued I’m perfectly confident he would have eventually donned a tophat, played the kazoo and started moonwalking next to Willis.

I think Morgan can be funny when he has someone who knows how to channel and direct his brand of comedic energy, but here, stranded alone with Willis on lunch break, he goes overboard. The result is like watching a man courageously save a woman from drowning and try to pump air back into her lungs while everyone else watching can see all too clearly she’s long dead.

Finally, there’s Kevin Smith. I cannot see a single mark of his style, humor, or instinct anywhere on this picture. The friend I saw this with commented “If I didn’t know better I’d just assume this was some other Kevin Smith”. He’s right, for as much as it matters to the final result, C.More Butts could have directed this movie; it’s cookie cutter all the way.

There’s really not much more to say. This is a complete failure, albeit there are one or two jokes that almost hit the mark. Worst of all, you could substitute all the collaboraters with unknowns and the result would be the same.  I went into this movie curious, wondering what a cop comedy starring Willis and Morgan  and directed by Smith would look like. Strangely, I’m still wondering.

Rating: ★½☆☆☆ 

Jason Lee’s television show My Name is Earl make have just been canceled, but don’t think Lee is going to be having any downtime because of that.

Lee will be sticking around the TV circuit for a bit, starring in the pilot for TNT’s Delta Blues where he’ll be playing a Memphis police officer who works as an Elvis impersonator at night. Lee is also working on a live-action series for Adult Swim. The show is to take place in the world of skateboarding, and Lee will both star in and direct the series.

As for the big screen, Lee recently finished filming A Couple of Dicks with director Kevin Smith, who Lee has worked with many times before. He will also be going back to his role as Dave in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.

More importantly, Lee is going to be taking his first big swing at things from behind the camera. He’ll be making his feature film directorial debut with Get Back, a film about a couple of Beatles fans who time travel back to 1966 and meet the band. The twist? One ends up in a love triangle between John Lennon and Yoko Ono.

Get Back will be produced by Matt Berenson.

Slowly but surely my childhood continues to die with the sequel of the surprise 2007 Twentieth Century Fox hit, Alvin and the Chipmunks with their ‘Squeakquel’. This time around, Alvin, Simon and Theodore are not alone in their tiny world with the arrival of the Chipettes who are voiced by Christina Applegate, Anna Faris and Amy Poehler.

In the sequel, David Seville (Jason Lee) sends Alvin, Simon, and Theodore off to school, saying “it’s good for them.” Little did he know, the Chipmunks feel like “Chipmunks Out of Water” because of all the (human) kids around. Meanwhile, Ian Hawke (David Cross (after the loss of the Chipmunks dealt him a serious blow) is freed from jail and searches the world for animals who can sing and dance. He happens upon the Chipettes and cannot wait to make them famous and get revenge on the Chipmunks.

Watch the trailer below and thank the lord they’re not soul-crushingly dressed odd just like the teaser poster of the first movie, or you can cuddle up to your diamond-filled chipette dolls in horror if you don’t like this:

Check out the trailer below:

Longtime resident of the View Askew Universe, Jason Lee, will have a role in Kevin Smith’s upcoming buddy-cop film A Couple of Dicks.

Fuzzy

According to /Film, the Clerks director revealed that the star of the now canceled sitcom My Name is Earl, will have an undetermined role in the movie.

Lee has starred in some of Smith’s earlier films including Mallrats (my personal favorite –screw you if you don’t like it), Chasing Amy, Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

A Couple of Dicks stars Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis as a couple of longtime LAPD detectives who track down a priceless, mint-condition, 1952 baseball card that was stolen by a “memorabilia-obsessed gangster.” The film also stars Nacho Libre and Mexican TV star, the lovely Ana de la Reguera.

Written by TV scribes Robb and Marc Cullen, the movie drops February 26, 2010.

Twentieth Century Fox’s TV beauty TBS is looking at electrocuting the life back into the karma induced comedy, My Name Is Earl. Sliding towards them is a thirteen episode deal that could bring the once-was-cancelled TV series on the silver screen even longer. Then again, it would completely make sense for them to continue cashing in on one of their re-run sitcoms.

"You hear that? It might be us coming back with more episodes."

Nothing is set in stone at the moment as these negotiations are still in their baby stages. Still, for those who are fans of the four season comedy would be happy as can be to still see Jason Lee (when he’s not in Alvin and the Chipmunks). My Name Is Earl is about “Earl J. Hickey”, a petty crook with occasional run-ins with the law, whose newly won $100,000 lottery ticket is lost when he is hit by a car. Lying in a hospital bed, under the influence of morphine, he develops a belief in the concept of karma when he hears about it during an episode of Last Call with Carson Daly. He decides he wants to turn his life around and makes a list of all the bad things he’s ever done. After doing his first good deed, he finds his $100,000 lottery ticket. He sees this as a sign and, with his new lucky money, he proceeds to cross items off the list one by one by doing good deeds in correspondence to the list items to atone for them.

Currently My Name Is Earl is running its seasons on TBS as it still sits in cancellation mode with thanks of NBC who still hold onto the sitcom.

You know who they are. Three cute Chipmunks, that sing cute songs, and act all cute and shit (in this movie they took that last part a bit too literally) and their ever suffering writer/father figure. Add in an evil record mogul and you’ve got the latest incarnation of “Alvin and the Chipmunks”. They’ve been around nearly fifty years and had countless (at least I’m not bothering to count) albums, tv specials, a Saturday morning cartoon, an animated movie (or maybe two, what do I look like to you?) and now a “live action” movie. Of course the anthropomorphic rodents are CGI, but everyone else is a real person (though David Cross might be some type of sarcasm demon from the outer-rings of hell).

Jason Lee (“My Name is Earl”, “The Incredibles,”, “Chasing Amy”) stars as Dave Seville, a struggling song-writer (and a really bad one at that) who finds these three adorable Chipmunks eating his food one night. Rather than check himself in for some serious psychological evaluation (but hey, this is a kid’s movie) he gets them to sing and they become bigger than Hanna Montana over night. David Cross plays the evil record exec that wants to run them ragged and get them hooked on speed (coffee) to keep his pockets swelling. We get to see the birth of the infamous Chipmunk’s “Christmas Song” (which is now mercilessly stuck in my head) and we get to see the writer’s try desperately to dream up as many reasons as possible for Dave to scream “Alvin!” at the top of his lungs. I would be remiss if I didn’t say that the little guys were pretty fucking cute. (Sorry, I had to throw that in there so I didn’t sound like a complete twat.) The animation was some of the better CGI of this type that I’ve seen and they didn’t seem to be floating in the environment at all. (See that George Lucas? Your turn.) Theodore is childlike and chubby, Simon is smart and Alvin is the cool one. Is there anything else about The Chipmunks themselves that I’m missing? I haven’t seen anything of the Chipmunks since I was so young that I thought the Maytag man really did diddle Dudley’s doodle on that “very special” episode of “Diff’ rent Strokes”. Sadly, there were no Chipettes, perhaps in the sequel.

I really like Jason Lee, and I think he is better than his performance in this movie. I don’t blame the movie, I really think he could have done a better job with the material. Maybe it’s the director, Tim Hill’s fault (and with “Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties” under his belt I have no problem placing any blame right at his feet). Lee has never come off as phony, like he did in some of these scenes, before. I’ve always thought he was a very natural actor, but he really overplayed this role. I guess he could have been going for that “live action cartoon” feel, but I think playing the straight man totally straight would have been more effective. David Cross (“Arrested Development”, “Mr. Show”) is Ian, the eeeeeeeevil record exec. He has sleazy down to a “T”, and he should, he does it a lot. I am a big fan of his and I think “Arrested Development” is one of the best sitcoms of all-time (partly due to him). I always loved “Mr. Show” as well, which succeeded despite it’s sometimes overbearing hipster irony. I really wish he could just get a role that he is perfectly suited for AND is a good movie. I’m sure he hates this movie. He bad mouths half of the projects that he works on it seems, and that is my biggest disconnect with him as a performer. I expect to hear him facetiously complaining about the shitty movies that he makes the next time I see him do stand-up, all the while knowing that he has no problem picking up the checks. That said, I would certainly sell out and do a shitty movie if I was offered one, I just wouldn’t bitch about it publicly.

At best I can say that “Alvin and the Chipmunks” wasn’t as bad as I was dreading it would be. I’m not saying it was good mind you, I’m just saying it wasn’t as horrible as I expected. But, when I see a movie like this I have to keep in mind that I am not the target audience. And I don’t mean that in the sense that I am not the target audience for an obvious “chick flick” like PS I Love You, or a movie like Good Luck Chuck (the target audience for which is functionally retarded, myspace-addicted, turd-eating Dane Cook fans – and is there any other kind?). Movies geared to grown-ups of any kind can be judged by grown-ups. But movies for kids, man, movies for kids are tough. This is not one of those great movies that looks like a movies for kids, but is really for everyone like “Ratatouille”, “The Incredibles” or “Iron Giant”. Those movies are good no matter how you look at them. Alvin and the Chipmunks is clearly a movie written for and targeted at children, and no one else. I don’t think the film makers gave the slightest consideration toward making this enjoyable for the parents that had to take their kids to it. It’s just easier to go low-brow, cram in some farts and a poop-eating joke and say it’s a kid’s movie. On second thought, Dane cook fans might like it too. The kids in the audience I saw it with loved it. They laughed (I cried), they even applauded at the end. So, if you (like me) just want your little darling to be happy, there is a good chance they’ll love it. And like I said, it wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be, barely even painful.

RATING: 4/10

PS – There is no listing in the credits, or on IMDB but their Maid in the one scene looked disturbingly like Paris Hilton with a black wig and a vicious tan. If anyone can confirm that please let me know so I can drop my rating down three points.