Although hindered significantly by a mediocre-at-best script and poor acting, Takers somehow manages to be a decently entertaining film.

Takers is an ensemble heist film that features Hayden Christensen, Paul Walker, Idris Elba, Chris Brown, and Michael Ealy as a group of high-class thieves who are dragged into a job by their recently released ex-member Ghost (T. I.) just as two detectives (Matt Dillon and Jay Hernandez) are hot on their tail. Marianne Jean-Baptiste and Zoë Saldaña co-star.

Going into the movie, I did not expect much. I had only seen a poster for it that had been collecting dust in the theater for a while and it looked absolutely terrible. I mean, the cast consists of a few actors, rappers, and Hayden Christensen. Really? Hayden Christensen? There’s just something about the way they marketed this movie that cast away any hope for this movie. At least that’s what I thought. Now let’s forget my preconceptions and focus on the film.

As you may have guessed, Takers does not provide a spectacular narrative. Not only have we seen this story many times before, nothing special or new is added this go-around. The script is extremely formulaic so if you’ve seen a heist movie before, you’ll be able to predict everything that happens. Still, genre films can be fun even if we’ve seen them before.

If you look at it that way, Takers is quite an enjoyable film. It’s a fun, simple story that showcases some fun sequences. Specifically, the chases stick out as especially exciting. From a few car chases to Chris Brown’s impressive parkour escape from the cops, there’s a lot of good action. What’s also impressive is how you can root for both the thieves and the cops in this film. It’s also a rare treat to see a movie where there are good guys and bad guys both that you can root for almost equally.

But even with these enjoyable aspects, Takers has too many flaws that cannot go ignored. The acting is very weak. Michael Ealy is the definite stand-out with his well-rounded performance as a man worried about his stance in life while at the same time facing the consequences for his choices. The rest of the cast, even those who normally give much better performances, are hindered by the poor script. As mentioned before, this movie is full of cliches. Not only is the general premise familiar, but the dialogue is bland and not delivered well to boot. I think this is characteristic of inexperienced writers. Sure, the formula works to provide a decent narrative, but much more is needed to make this into a great film.

The direction is also not great. Although the chase scenes and some of the action is great fun, most of the film is shot in this confusing, zoomed-in, shaky cam style that doesn’t work here. In an action scene, it is obviously important to convey a sense of kinetic energy and motion but randomly shaking the camera about is just annoying. Towards the end of the film, there are several scenes that show promise, including a near-silent shootout throw-back to Bonnie and Clyde, but these interesting shots are not enough to really provide anything special.

The most unfortunate thing is that Takers sets up some interesting topics that go unexplored. Some of the characters show some depth, but that is passed over in the long run. Also, storylines that were only hinted at could have served as full-fledged side-plots to complement the main story. However, in the end Takers is a simple heist film that delivers some good sequences, but fails overall.

All in all, I enjoyed Takers much more than I was expecting to. I’m a sucker for heist films, and it is definitely a fun, simple action movie that has some good humor and exciting action. That being said, the film lacks any core to really drive it so if you’re in the mood for a crime film this week, definitely check out Animal Kingdom instead.

Rating: ★★½☆☆ 

Nimrod Antal’s Armored feels like a film from a different time; specifically, an action thriller from the late 1990s. It’s the kind of second tier B movie that might have starred Cuba Gooding Jr. in the lead, Michael Keaton in the Dillon role, and Laurence Fishburne in the same role he’s got here.  Due to the shrieking chaos of most modern action films, this fact actually proves to be a good thing.

Under the skilled direction of Antal, Armored trades up shaky cam and overcooked editing for expertly shot and nerve-jangling chase sequences that feel inspired by 1970′s crime thrillers. The second string cast, including Dillon, Fishburn, Ulrich and the always dependable Ward, all deliver down-to-earth performances that fit the characters.

Unfortunately, a predictable plot rife with holes and inconsistencies and a script banged together from old heist clichés shoots the movie in the foot before it can pull off the big caper.

The basic set-up has been highlighted in the film’s far too revealing trailer; a group of blue collar armored-car guards decide to rob their own vehicle and abscond with the money. Ty Hackett (Columbus Short) is the rookie who has taken the job because he needs the money to take care of his adolescent brother after the death of their parents. Dillon plays Hackett’s godfather Michael, and the leader of the gang. Fishburne is Baines, the boozy loudmouth; Reno the tough and shady Frenchman (what else?); Ulrich the flunkie; Nolasco the born-again Christian who carries a bible but who isn’t above stealing if they can get away with it. The timing is perfect, the haul is an obscene amount of cash, and Hackett is about to be foreclosed on and his little brother taken away to foster care. There it is then. In a time of economic hardship it’s a dream plan that doesn’t involve a single fired shot or anyone being harmed.

If you have seen enough movies—probably two—then you will know that things don’t go as planned, and after a too long set-up that gets the pair of armored cars to an abandoned warehouse everything falls apart. What happens next is described in explicit detail in the film’s promotional materials, but I’m not going through it here. Armored has so few secrets and surprises that far be it from me to take them from you. Columbus Short, as Hackett, comes into his own during the second half and he has enough charisma and presence that he distracts from the silliness that follows.

Antal retraces similar steps he made with 2007’s Vacancy, which found Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale at the mercy of a gang of snuff filmmakers at a remote hotel. Both movies work just fine as cracker-jack thrillers, and Armored does its job with considerable less nastiness than its predecessor. Action fans who have recently been fed an over-abundance of flashy, loud chaos might be rightfully pleased with this one. Just don’t go in expecting it to fulfill many of its promises outside an hour and a half of decent thrills.

I actually wish that Armored had gone a little more in the direction of an over-the-top B movie instead of the grungy working-class realism it settles for. Once things go wrong for these  guys, the plot stops operating in the real world and starts flying free of plausibility. A little crazy might have helped it, but it never wants to commit. There is a superb battle between two armored cars in the midsection and the clanging, smashing vehicles careen through the dusty warehouse yard as if they were on their way to Thunderdome. Fred Ward plays the manager of the security guards and his team tells stories about the time he wasted six men. But we never get to see him do anything besides sit behind a desk, and after that first chase scene, the armored cars are pretty much stationary. All of the pieces are here and Antal does what he can with them, but Armored makes the mistake of aiming for too small a piece of the haul.

Movie rating:

Main Feature

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve watched There’s Something About Mary since its cinematic release back in 1998. This was the third directorial success in a row for the Farrelly brothers after Dumb & Dumber and Kingpin and it helped cement the reputation they have today.

Matt Dillon’s stand out performance as the arrogant and devious Healy, along with his role in Wild Things that same year, did wonders for his career which had slowed down since he burst onto the scene in such a big way during the Eighties. It seems that Ben Stiller is one of those comedy actors that people either love or hate which positions him alongside the likes of Jack Black, Will Ferrell, and Adam Sandler. As far as I’m concerned Stiller has more in his locker and he showcases his comedic diversity in this film, Zoolander, Starsky & Hutch, and more recently in Tropic Thunder while Ferrell and the others tend to offer different shades of the same character. This brings me to Cameron Diaz who doesn’t provide as many laughs as Stiller and Dillon but despite her enormous Joker-like grin she is very pretty and because of this she fits the title role well.

I have never doubted that this film provokes many laughs and in that respect this is a success but I didn’t notice any visual improvement over the standard DVD and I feel that the Blu-ray format is wasted here. The worst thing about the film by far has to be the pair of idiot musicians who pop up from time to time and give us an annoying rendition of a terrible song. I understand that they are meant to be annoying and that it’s a nod towards Medieval singing bards but rather than making me laugh this only succeeds in making me want to tear my ears off.

Extras

I’ll only mention the title menu if the screen impresses me or upsets me in some way and in this case it’s very much the latter as we’re greeted to a mind-numbing loop of that annoying singing idiot I mention above. I’d not consider this much of an issue if not for the fact that “Build Me Up Buttercup” is something I always associate with the film and would have been a far better choice of music.

Speaking of which there is an extra named “up a tree with Jonathan Richman and Tommy Larkins” which gives us needless information on how and when the annoying duo met.

“getting behind Mary” is a 40 minute documentary of behind-the-scenes footage in which the cast members gush over how fantastic the Farrelly brothers are and how incredibly funny every single thing in the film is. This ultimately amounts to a bunch of clips showing just how awkward and clumsy everyone was while filming certain scenes and I don’t think that was the aim of the documentary.

There is a shorter “backstory” documentary which explains how the film came to be and is once again filled with people patting themselves on the back. “comedy central: reel comedy” is hosted by Harland Williams and I think it’s meant to be funny but it’s even more clumsy and awkward than the “getting behind Mary” documentary.

“puffy, boobs, and balls” with special effects designer Tony Gardner and actress Lin Shaye is something I found interesting. The pair seemed comfortable talking together on screen and it looked like they were having a lot of fun.

I like when a music video is included as an extra but while I like the song “every day should be a holiday” from The Dandy Warhols I think the video, especially the claymation, is a horrible mess.

The “out-takes” extra is a complete let-down because perhaps only 30 seconds show things we haven’t seen before, another 30 seconds show clips which were in the film and weren’t out-takes at all, and the remainder are clips you’ll see from watching the documentaries. And last but not least is the “build me up buttercup” karaoke extra which is nice because it means the song is at hand if you feel like listening to it but that doesn’t change the fact it should have been used as the title music.

Summary

This is one of the rare instances when I feel the extras are so poor that it harms the overall score. There are a lot of extras on the disc but most of these are pointless and look and feel incredibly dated. I like the film and I still find it funny even after watching it countless times since its release but I’m also reviewing the Blu-ray package and for me the lack of interesting extras must bring the score down. If you already own this on standard DVD I can see no good reason why you should add this Blu-ray version to your collection.

Rating: ★★★☆☆