Earlier this week, Jonah showed up on the scene, albeit a bit late to the party, in a sneak peak courtesy of  SyFy. Then an ugly mug shot of Jonah showed up online. Now we have the full on trailer, and I must say, I am very pleasantly surprised!

A little synopsis of the movie for you all left behind under a rock:

Jonah Hex (Brolin) is a scarred drifter and bounty hunter of last resort, a tough and stoic gunslinger who can track down anyone… and anything. Having survived death, Jonah’s violent history is steeped in myth and legend, and has left him with one foot in the natural world and one on the “other side.” His only human connection is with Leila (Megan Fox), whose life in a brothel has left her with scars of her own.

But Jonah’s past is about to catch up with him when the U.S. military makes him an offer he can’t refuse: in exchange for his freedom from the warrants on his head, he must track down and stop the dangerous terrorist Quentin Turnbull (Malkovich). But Turnbull, who is gathering an army and preparing to unleash Hell, is also Jonah’s oldest enemy and will stop at nothing until Jonah is dead.

Jonah Hex stars Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Will Arnett and Michael Shannon and is slated to hit theaters June 18.

Enjoy the trailer and do let us know what you think!

TITLE: “Bount”iful Aniston

Jennifer Aniston (Bruce Almighty, The Good Girl & TV’s Friends) is one of Hollywood’s most striking and attractive stars (ask the “People” magazine polls).  Gerard Butler (The Ugly Truth, Reign Of Fire & Gamer) is no slouch himself (ask the “In Style” magazine polls); and thanks to films like 2006’s “300,” and 2007’s “PS I Love You,” has jettisoned his name into the mainstream as a viable actor and a love interest.   It almost seems like a no brainer to put these two actors together in a romantic comedy.   One of America’s new movie hunks, a seasoned beauty – throw in some car chases, bullets flying and you’d think it was lightning in a bottle, box office gold.  Unfortunately for Aniston & Butler, their new romantic comedy “The Bounty Hunter” opening this weekend, may fail to even bring in the bronze.

The film follows Nicole Hurley (Aniston) a thriving NYC divorcee ‘beat’ reporter who has just stumbled on to what could be the biggest story of her career and Milo Hurley (Butler),  Nicole’s ex-husband,   a fired cop turned bounty hunter who gets the assignment to bring his bail-jumping ex-wife back to face the music.

Why exactly Nicole jumped bail, and what she was originally arrested for becomes less of a concern as you watch this film.  What becomes glaringly obvious is the usage of Aniston as ‘eye-candy’.   Even watching her run in three inch Jimmy Choo’s during a botched escape attempt from her wily ex-husband is less funny and entertaining as how blatant the intentional close-ups and body-shots of her are throughout the film.  You begin to realize that her looks are being used to disguise the films sub-par plot and wildly predictable storyline.  Butler’s character is never given a chance to hold his own from the looks department and he’s reduced to the stereotypical ex-husband; a loaf, buffoonish child as exampled by Nicole & Milo’s odds defying craps attempt to turn $500 into $10,000.  Butler’s acting chops do shine through during a point in the film where his character draws into a string of emotions around the prospect of re-entering his ex-wife’s life, and bringing it crashing down when he arrests her.  The chemistry between Butler & Aniston is not given a chance behind the film’s thin writing.  They look good together and the relationship is even believable but their eventual on screen re-connection seems more like an inevitability of the nearly 2 hour film and less about their romantic missteps during the two-state run to bring Nicole back to justice.

The film does have a saving grace in its’ supporting cast.  Stuart (Jason Sudeikis of SNL fame), Nicole’s co-worker, is a lovelorn fool who’s feelings for Nicole border on stalking.  His attempts to solicit her affection, and profess his own, do offer some good laughs.  Nicole’s mother (Christine Baranski: Bulworth & Chicago), portrays aging Atlantic City headliner, Kitty Hurley.  Baranski has made a career of portraying ‘rich bitch’ characters, but this time she manages to do it with heart.  It’s refreshing to see her as something more than just a boozing socialite; albeit this time a boozing starlet.  You can feel a true mother-daughter relationship between Kitty & Nicole, and Baranski uses every inch of the films’ sad screenplay to convey their connection.

In the end, “The Bounty Hunter” is nothing more than a Jennifer Aniston puff piece.  Like Megan Fox’s role in Transformers (2007), Aniston’s looks over-power the film.  The audience becomes more focused on her clothes, body and hair than on trying to believe that this hapless mis-adventure could somehow bring this couple back to reconciliation.  Director Andy Tennant (Hitch, Fools Rush In) has done much better for himself in the past.  With a dynamite looking duo like Aniston & Butler, you would think he could make something more enjoyable play out on screen.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆ 

The Bounty Hunter is rated PG-13 for sexually suggestive content, language and some violence.

Submitted by reader Rock Y.

Action movie director Michael Bay appears again, in the form of his own message board for his latest announcement. He comes out with what is the latest on the third film in the Transformers movie franchise, along with a snippet for actress Megan Fox to read:

Well its official: We have a great Transformers 3 story. The release date is now July 1st 2011. Not 2012.

Today is Day One. This morning started with an ILM meeting for five hours in San Francisco. Currently I’m flying with writer Ehren Kruger to Rhode Island to talk to Hasbro about new characters.

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

Pain and Gain is right after shooting of Trans 3.

Michael

Now it appears that the Hasbro toy line inspired soon-to-be trilogy will obviously start locking in for full on filming sometime next year with its brand new 2011 release. The latest installment, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, took over worldwide and made a hefty profit with an estimated $832 million. Thanks to Coming Soon! for this bit of news.

Friends, I have just received new demands. My colleagues say I’m being a troll. We have to be nice. Diablo Cody, and any bad comments toward her, must be saved for private and not told directly to her, and our compadres, whose souls shriveled while they watched the subject movie, will have lost time. But we can all still be nice.  Meanwhile, screenwriting ideas like good dialogue, story structure, and likeable characters get packed up. But we can all be nice.

Well, I’m not being nice. I’m going to get in front of my Macbook, and I’m going to log on here, and I’m going to kick that sorry excuse of a film Jennifer’s Body‘s ass so hard, that the next Diablo Cody wannabe is going to feel it.

There’s a reason Quentin Tarantino’s dialogue works like it does. The man may indulge in himself a little much, but he gives his characters voices. One can distinctly identify with Hans Landa’s speech and mannerisms just as they can with Ordell Robbie. He might repeat themes, but Tarantino knows how to make strong, unique characters with snappy dialogue that fits them. They will make pop culture references, but none of them do it in a manner where it feels like one character talking to his or herself.

Diablo Cody fails miserably at this, as well as trying to write a film in general. Now I’ll admit I spat in the theaters Juno played in, but I approached this latest monstrosity with an open mind, hoping for something along the lines of Drag Me to Hell. That was my fault, as Raimi’s horror story was funny, smart, cheesy and actually engaging, proving that fun horror films should be left to people who actually know how to write a film. If Juno wasn’t enough evidence Cody had zero talent as a writer, then Jennifer’s Body needs to move up to Exhibit A.

Her characters have no voice except hers. Granted, that’s the point of view of anyone writing a screenplay, but Cody could have every single character talking in exactly the same voice if it served in any way whatsoever to drive the plot forward. These characters have no identity except that of the lead character: in this case, Needy (Amanda Seyfried). I beg anyone who enjoys self-torture and sits through this monstrosity to tell me five distinct characteristics of Jennifer, then identify one of them that is not visible in Needy. The only thing that differentiates them in this viewer’s opinion is that Jennifer dresses like a filthy whore and Needy wears clothes my grandmothers would find old-fashioned. Characters need characteristics to make the viewer characterize them. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra did a better job of dealing different character cards, and that was a big ensemble.

That same film also did a better job of structuring its story and lending some explanation to its plentiful elements. Cody just assumes we’ll buy that a bar catches fire for NO APPARENT REASON. What caused the fire, you ask? The film never explains but exploits the damage done for the duration of its own assault (also referred to as runtime). Another thing Cody forgets to share with us is how exactly Jennifer gets transformed into a boy-huntin’ psychopath in the first place. Sure, we see her tied, sacrificed, then murdered. And yes, some lines are recited to summon ‘the beast’. However, we never see the actual transformation from dead human to violent beast. My guess is that these are moments Cody wants us to take as “so cool it doesn’t need an explanation” (e.g. – think the chicken in The Hangover) but uses this for key plot elements and not a MacGuffin. It’s also incredibly easy to predict where the film is going with its opening scene – there’s no subtlety here.

But enough about the trash that is the screenplay, no one else seems to be helping make the film remotely watchable. Karyn Kusama sleepwalks through it, or she tried the best with nothing. Whatever the case, her timing is off and she’s not helping the film rise above the sum of its parts. Then, of course, we have Megan Fox as the title character (and she’s just as good here as she was in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen). She’s gorgeous and trashy, no doubt, but she’s also frequently laughable and despicable. Amanda Seyfried fares no better, which should be a Greek tragedy when one factors in what she did in Mean Girls. She just reads off lines, never giving them the oopmh or pizazz they need to effectively imply that someone could have meant them. Johnny Simmons looks like he’s in a completely different film as her boyfriend, Chip. Everything either shocks or bores him, especially the sex scene with Amanda. He also carries this spaced-out look all the way through the movie, like he’s still suffering from being in The Spirit. The same could be said for the rest of the cast that includes J.K. Simmons, Adam Brody, Amy Sedaris, and Chris Pratt. All of them just show up, decidedly bored and appear to be reading their lines off cue cards.

I’ll repeat what I said earlier about this film; Diablo Cody should stop writing screenplays. Her characters aren’t extensions of the leading player but are the exact same as them. Her use of ‘trendy’ dialogue is atrocious and no one in the real world talks like these people. Or should I say this person, because everyone is supposed to speak exactly like each other in her world. However, Juno started to tell a new story in its last thirty minutes, a fiasco that proves Cody can’t structure a film properly. Things are just supposed to happen and we, the audience, are supposed to be OK with it because we’ll be sprouting drivel like “you need a manny.” In the words of Myron Cope, I say “Mm HA!” Her future screenplays could be used to keep children on the streets warmed in the wintertime as they’re set ablaze.

This might feel like a personal attack on Ms. Cody, and while I will admit I am blasting her, it’s her film that just isn’t even remotely good. Outside of the venomous script, the acting, directing and everything else that goes into making a decent film is missed in this movie. It wants to be a callback to the ’80′s horror films but should have been shelved – Raimi already did that, perfectly, way back in May. So speaking of Jennifer’s Body being undeserving of a zero out of five stars, it gets the dishonor of being something worse.

GO TO HELL OUT OF FIVE STARS

Diablo Cody’s latest written horror comedy that is emerging onto the big screen, Jennifer’s Body, now has itself a poster. Starring every other man’s celebrity crush Megan Fox as a possessed cheerleader who’s idea of a fun night out includes eating up teenage boys, this horror comedy is going to already bring in the crowds. Along side her is Big Love and Mamma Mia! star Amanda Seyfried as the best friend who tries to snap her deranged friend out of the curse, also with Adam Brody (The OC). Directed by Karyn Kusama and set to come out on September 18th, here is a look at the poster thanks to the guys of BloodyDisgusting.com!

The most-likely-to-be new popular film directed by Karyn Kusama & written up by Juno writer/Oscar winner Diablo Cody is the seductively witty and graphic horror comedy, Jennifer’s Body. Starring Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried, this cheerleader’s version of a good night out involves the good and scrumptious food of other teenage men. Her best friend (Seyfried) is trying to find out what exactly possessed her and finally put a stop to this before its too late.

Check out the exclusive red band trailer from the guys at ShockTillYouDrop below:

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the film that just won’t die. Just when you think that the headiness of its debut was over, boom, the damn thing picks up steam and is closing in on becoming the biggest movie of the year.

Not bad for a film that can not find a friend in the press.

The critic/audience gap aside, our pals over at Moviemistakes.com alerted us to the obscene amount of blunders made during production. MM counted 40 mistakes, which makes the Michael Bay feature the “most mistake-ridden movie of the year”, surpassing the 19 goofs from Angels & Demons.

Any chance to post a pic of Megan Fox, I will take it.

My favorite mistake: When Sam is brought to the cemetery to meet Optimus, you can see the green mark on the grass where Sam is supposed to stand while talking to him.

Check out the site for more goodness.

While you’re here, how about you check out Atomic Popcorn’s review of the film from our crack staff of cinematic bloviators?

Matthew Snider – “Bay does know what he is doing whether you like him or not; he put together some of the cleanest actions shots around, if you ask me.”

Philip Barret – “As much as audiences believed a man could fly in 1978, they’ll certainly buy that Spielberg and Bay are keeping the Autobots hidden somewhere in an abandoned Hollywood lot.”

Erik Buckman – “One can have all the BOOM, hotness and amazing special effects they want but if the story is a mind-numbing waste of time, then the movie is an epic fail. Exhibit A: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.”

For all of those who are still salivating over Megan Fox (which is practically every other guy where ever) there is more eye candy from her…drenched in blood. That’s right, pictures of her and Amanda Seyfried grace the pages of the latest Empire in the Diablo Cody penned movie, Jennifer’s Body. A newly possessed cheerleader (Megan Fox) turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates through acts of cannibalism. Can her best friend (Amanda Seyfried) put an end to the horror?

Directed by Karyn Kusama (Aeon Flux), this horror comedy will stalk its way into theaters September 18th. Check out the pictures below: