This dark sci-fi drama has an eerie and somewhat perplexing storyline at its core.  The subject matter involves developed human clones being harvested for organs and body parts, but takes place circa the 1960’s when cloning may have been discussed or tampered with in top secret labs run by the government, but not as prolific and publicly understood as the film leads you to believe.  It’s slightly disturbing to see what appears to be a human population that understands and accepts the pervasive concept of “completing,” while visually appearing to be a slower time when life was not as harried as the 21^st century we now live in.

Never Let Me Go (based on the bestselling book) tells the story of three unique children at a special school called Hailsham.  All the children within its walls are destined to be donors or ‘carriers’ responsible for those going through the donation process.  For Kathy, Tommy & Ruth (Carey Mulligan, Andrew Garfield, Keira Knightley)

Cathy, Tommy & Ruth are model Hailsham students; growing older, learning about their world, experiencing everything from childhood innocence to adolescent angst and even love.  Like others, they’re moving towards their target of ‘completion,’ which is the resolving of four donations.

The difficulty with growing with these characters, is knowing their fates.  They’re likeable, understandable and at times, even relatable, and that’s where performances from Knightley (Love Actually) and Mulligan (An Education) truly break through.  Wrestling with the knowledge of impending ‘completion’ and coming to grips with the unthinkable and unimaginable idea of your own demise.  They’re passion and conviction in delivery is incredibly solid.  Garfield (Lions For Lambs) delivers with a convincing, sometimes awkward turn as Tommy.

Still, the characters persevere into their collective fates.  At one instance of the film, they’re referred to as “poor creatures” which is haunting as you imagine if we’ll ever get to a point in society where this practice is not just understood and condoned, but where clones are reduced to fodder for human pity.

Production design was detailed and the scenery was beautiful.  Details such as proximity wrist bands (which couldn’t have existed in the 60’s) and signs such as “Nation Donor Programme” maintain continuity and realism to this alternate 1960’s world.  Director Mark Romanek (anybody remember the Top 20 videos from the 1990’s?  Chances are he directed a few, and his last theatrical film was ‘One Hour Photo’ a twisted thriller starring Robin Williams as a Fotomat psychotic voyeur…a movie I liked by the way) has his flash and quick cut editing skills on display here.  The signature style that makes him so sought after for music videos graduates exceptionally to the big screen.

You won’t leave feeling depressed for our future (or is it our past?) at the end of film, just a little stunned and drained from the dénouement.  You realize that we all will ‘complete’ someday and that time waits for no man.

Never Let Me Go is rated R for some sexuality and nudity.  The running time is 103 minutes

Rating: ★★★☆☆ 

With Inception, Christopher Nolan delivers the perfect blend of action and intelligence. The precisely constructed script is told through striking visuals set to a superb score. The film is massively original, complex yet easy to follow, and wildly entertaining. This magnificent mix of elements makes for the ultimate summer movie, and without-a-doubt the best film of the year so far.

In the world of Inception, technology has been developed that allows dream-sharing, a technique through which which multiple people can inhabit one dream world. Many problems stem from this new technology, including the possibility of idea theft, but I’ll stop before I give too much away. The film utilizes these unique sci-fi elements to create an elaborate heist adventure, but everything is centered upon an emotional core. The real heart of the film is DiCaprio’s performance as Dom Cobb. In another amazing performance, DiCaprio portrays his character in all his shades, including the suave professional thief as well as the heartbroken man he is on the inside. The only reason the audience cares about the conclusion of the story is because we empathize with the leading man.

Inception asks, ”Is there a difference between the real world and the dream world?” By exploring the dream world, the line between reality and imaginary is blurred, causing not only the characters in the movie, but the audience themselves to question what is real and what is imaginary. The powerful ending of the movie puts forth this question very clearly, but the answer is left up for discussion. I was literally left speechless after seeing this film. There are so many aspects of this movie that could be discussed at length, but I am going to hold back for now in order to avoid spoilers. In any case, Inception is the most recent entry in a series of films in which Chris Nolan explores the nature of reality (Memento and The Prestige being the first two) and is the culmination of both those films and his more mainstream fare (Batman Begins and The Dark Knight).

However thought-provoking the film may be, the fact that it works on so many levels at once makes Inception a truly amazing film. Not only does Nolan present another intelligent, mind-bending mystery like Memento, Inception is also wildly entertaining. From the opening scene all the way until the stunning conclusion, you are taken on an awesome ride. The action set pieces are great, including a fight in a zero-gravity hotel, a very James Bond-esque snow fortification assault, along with a few others. Still, your attention is only held so well because you are invested in the characters. The best action comes during the extended finale, which takes up a majority of the film. The players get deeper and deeper into this multi-layered heist which provides suspense that is heightened by the fictional dream technology. As the movie concludes, this intricate set-up pays off as each layer is unpeeled perfectly. The entire story is so tautly written that each and every piece fits perfectly together to provide for a very satisfying tale.

Another key to the movie is also in its script. At the beginning of the film, the viewer has no idea what is going on, which is to be expected. However soon afterwards the ground rules are laid and the dream technology is explained. Rather than have several confusing pieces which fuse only in retrospect as in Memento, the plot here is much more straightforward. At first this seems like a weakness, the one flaw that holds the movie back from becoming a classic piece of cinema. There is a trade-off, however. In laying the foundation early, Nolan was able to take his idea a lot farther, and really explore the entire realm of possibility of this dream-exploring concept. Inception is much more accessible to a wider audience then, say, 2001 is. This makes for a very entertaining summer movie, while at the same time hardly sacrificing any of the intellectual or emotional weight of the film.

The screenplay is only one aspect, however, of an entirely magnificent film. The acting is excellent all-around. Inception’s ensemble cast is one of the most impressive ever put together. In addition to DiCaprio’s usually impressive performance, the other players are fantastic as well. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is great as Arthur, Cobb’s straight-laced assistant who takes part in one of the most interestingly staged fight scenes in a long time. Ellen Page plays Ariadne, the new member of the team, and while she doesn’t show anything spectacular, she holds her own very well for a young actress. The rest of the star-studded cast also give great performances. Another integral part of the film is the sound. Both Hans Zimmer’s amazing, non-traditional score, as well as the sound design in general, play a huge part in generating the mood for the movie. Different sounds represent different things, including some that are very memorable such as the sound that tubes of the dream-sharing machine make and the crunching of the glass from the apartment where Cobb’s life was altered forever.

The visuals are also impressive, as the various dreams are portrayed through unique, surrealist images. This feeling of unease is essential to the film, as the dreams serve as allegory for what the characters are doing. From one point of view, nothing in the dream world is actually happening, but the intent are there. For example, when Cobb and Arthur must get a piece of information from someone this is visualized in the movie by an attempt to break into a vault in order to get some trivial item. The information isn’t on the item itself, the item itself is the idea. This is where the intriguing concept that forms the basis of the film really pays off. This visualization of dreaming is so key to the movie, that if it didn’t work as well as it does, the entire story would fall apart.

There are so many areas of this movie that could have gone wrong, but they didn’t. Everything just clicks on every level. From an intellectual standpoint, Nolan has once again challenged his audience to think about their own reality. At the same time, the action and adventure also satisfies the needs of anyone who simply wants to be entertained. Finally, from an emotional level, the film deals with Cobb’s inability to let go, and the ultimate consequences of his actions. Many movies attempt to accomplish one thing well, but Inception succeeds on every level, placing it among the only a handful of other films in recent years that can claim as much originality, intelligence, or entertainment value as this extraordinary film. I think we’re going to be talking about this movie for long time to come.

Rating: ★★★★★ 

I used to think that only Peter Falk told age-inappropriate stories to minors; leave it to Dr. Walter Bishop to drop “Brown Betty” on an 8-year-old. No, I’m not foolish enough to think that Olivia’s niece Ella wasn’t already in for a less-than-normal childhood but when you’ve got an “uncle” like Walter you’re destined for impossibilities. Here are just a few impossibilities that I imagined thanks to “Brown Betty:”

1st impossibility: iTunes’ Genius would definitely recommend an album containing the musical stylings of Bishop & Broyles, and I would buy said album.

2nd impossibility: Ella might prefer that Walter read Dr. Seuss next time she asks for a story but I’m okay with Walter’s Dark City-style noir sci-fi mashup.

3rd impossibility: Olivia can’t sing. I think this was always a possibility and I’m not truly sure what it means that I’m calling this fact an “impossibility” but this is Fringe and I’ll defer your questions to Walter.

4th impossibility: Who did Walter say invented hugs? The Candy Man? or was it Walter himself? Either way that’s news to me, I always figured the Care Bears were responsible for hugs, rainbows and cotton candy.

And now I leave you with some quotes from “Brown Betty.”

“I’ve decided that we need to get organized,” So I’ve got a new addition to my house cleaning soundtrack: “Roundabout” by Yes.

“It’s a hybrid of Chronic Supernova and Afghani Coosh — I call it Brown Betty.”

“I couldn’t possibly look after anyone else, I’m well into phase one.” Tears for Fears’ “Head Over Heels” reminded me of the greatness, Donnie Darko. What would Walter have had to say about Frank the rabbit?

“Gene — Gene, no licking!” Just because…

“What kind of doctor are you?” Good question.

What are some of your questions for Mr. Abrams and the Fringe universe?

Tomorrow, on Earth Day, Avatar will be released on DVD and Blu-Ray. However, you still have a chance to see the film on the big screen. In an interview with the LA Times, James Cameron revealed his plans for an Avatar re-release as well as a sequel.

First, Cameron said that Weta is working on an additional six minutes, which will be added to the movie for a theatrical re-release this August. He added:

“It’ll be interesting because it’ll be on DVD by then, but I think “Avatar” is kind of a unique category where people are enjoying the unique theatrical experience even though they may have seen it on the small screen. They want to have that immersive, transportive experience.”

He went on to compare the film to 2001: A Space Odyssey, which is a little pretentious, but I understand his point. The number of movies that could be successful during a second run in this economy is very low, but I think Avatar has a lot of potential, both from people that somehow missed the movie the first time around, as well as those of us who want to return to the experience again.

Cameron also discussed his ideas for Avatar 2: “Part of my focus in the second film is in creating a different environment – a different setting within Pandora. And I’m going to be focusing on the ocean on Pandora, which will be equally rich and diverse and crazy and imaginative, but it just won’t be a rain forest. I’m not saying we won’t see what we’ve already seen; we’ll see more of that as well.”

The director said that production should run much more smoothly the second time around, so we will be back on Pandora sometime in the near future. However, being a science fiction fan, I’m more excited to see more of the space setting that was established at the very beginning of Avatar. Well, Cameron stated that the third film will focus more on the Alpha Centauri AB System that includes Pandora.

In any case, I don’t see the need for an Avatar sequel. I’ve always believed that a movie should stand alone, unless the story calls for a continuation. However, I understand that a series is inevitable after such an enormous success and I trust Cameron will do it his way and make another breathtaking movie.

Last weekend Robert Rodriguez debuted a new poster and footage for his highly anticipated Predators, the latest addition to a sci-fi film franchise that began with Schwarzenegger in 80s.

Today, we have a full blown trailer for the movie, and it looks amazingly faithful to the spirit and sense of adventure of the original. In fact, this looks like the sequel we wanted all along.

Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne and Topher Grace may not initially sound like they belong in the arena with the galaxy’s most fearsome hunters, but once you get a look at Brody, grime-covered and sweat stained, battling it out with the titular beasties, any thought of improper casting goes out the window. Throw in the always welcome Danny Trejo as a gnarly warrior and it’s gonna be a good time for sure.

I’m personally digging Fishburne in the hardened survivor role. The plot isn’t anything amazing, and the Predator home world looks surprisingly like the jungles of the first film, but there’s an old school feel to the fx, the cinematography and even the acting style that suggests a return to the basics.

I’m guessing Nimrod Antal, the director, is more responsible for this than Rodriquez. Antal, the foreign filmmaker who gave us the exquisite Kontrol, and the serviceable American thrillers Armored and Vacancy, has an artist’s touch for gritty and believable settings.

Personally, this has just jumped to the very top of my summer must-see list.

What do you think? Adding an s  to the title worked wonders for Alien back in 79. What will it do here?

I’ll admit right now that I’m not the biggest fan of fantasy-sci-fi. I don’t dislike the genre, it just isn’t one of my favorites. Thus, I have not caught the fever surrounding James Cameron’s latest film, the animated adventure Avatar.

While I personally may have a lackluster enthusiasm for the movie, the amount Avatar made in its midnight showings definitely proves that a lot of moviegoers were all about the 3D epic.

In midnight openings at nearly 2,000 theaters nationwide, Avatar brought in $3.5 million, and tickets for today’s matinee performances sold out quickly. This is a strong start for an animated film, and the movie is expected to do well over the entirety of its run.

Avatar has already opened in a limited number of foreign territories, and saw close to the same success at those locations as in the United States. This suggests the film will see heavy box office earnings when the film expands its international launch.

If Avatar keeps up the numbers it saw in its midnight openings, the movie has a chance of beating out I Am Legend as being the highest grossing December opening of all time. An impressive feat for both an animated film, and a movie based on a completely original idea, rather than following a franchise.

Have you seen Avatar yet? Do you plan on seeing it? Let us know your thoughts on the film!

There is a certain miraculous effect in the world of movies and television. Somehow, when a certain TV show or film is bad enough, it circles back around, becoming good. It’s the same scientific principle that draws gawkers to circus sideshows; we can’t believe something so ridiculous could possibly exist, we must see it with our own eyes. In my review of the first half of the “Alice” miniseries, I ranted against the low-quality stigma of the SyFy brand, but after some meditation, I’d like to amend my previous stance. While atrocious, laughable and just plain bad, SyFy’s productions do have a certain place of honor in the world of cinema. They may not be noteworthy, but with the right approach, they can be enjoyable (alcohol certainly helps). And one thing’s for certain, a movie like “Mansquito” may be insipid and insulting, but couldn’t possibly be boring. In the end, for SyFy, that’s what really counts.

Tonight’s installment of “Alice” concludes the mini-series. Beginning exactly where the first installment left off, Alice is the subject of psychological torture at the hands of Tweedles Dum and Dee. Pressured for the location of the Stone of Wonderland, Alice reluctantly concedes, scrawling a phony map in exchange for her well-being. Fortunately, The Mad Hatter and Charlie the White Knight burst in in the nick of time to save her. Except that she was already saved by her own actions. So begins the never-ending parade of loose ends.

As Alice, Charlie and Hatter flee from the Queen’s casino, they encounter what may very well be the most ridiculous aspect of the entire mini-series. Running from the combination police force/security guards, the intrepid trio find themselves cornered on the roof. Their only means of escape are a selection of flying devices which could only be dreamed up by SyFy: hovering flamingo jet skis.

Why these abominations exist, and why they are conveniently parked on the roof is irrelevant. These birds are used repeatedly, never once being questioned about image or design. Everybody looks ridiculous piloting hovering flamingo jet skis, but everybody treats them as a normal part of their day. There’s even a high-speed shootout with guns whilst flying the hovering flamingo jet skis, and no one even smirks at the ensuing ridiculousness. It’s this over-the-top lunacy that makes such poorly written fare worth watching.

Effectively fleeing the Queen’s forces, Alice explains her new modus operandi to Hatter. Alice is intent on finding her father, using the the wristwatch given to her by Jack as proof of his existence in Wonderland. Apparently unaffected by capture, torture, and her near-death experience just minutes ago, Alice insists on returning to the casino to find her father and possibly achieving closure with Jack. Because despite his lies, adultery, and upbringing in an alternate universe, Alice still thinks she and Jack have a shot at love. Not one for suicide missions, Hatter suggests consulting The Resistance again. Not the crazy, corrupted arm headed by Dodo, but the very top branch led by the enigmatic Caterpillar. After much insistence by Hatter, Alice agrees.

Hatter rushes off to learn the current location of the reclusive Caterpillar in the most ridiculously available motorboat in the history of fiction. Alice is left in the hands of Charlie, whose demeanor has shifted from childlike enthusiasm to complete brain-damaged battiness without any discernible catalyst. After a moment of clarity and a batch of dialogue which goes on way too long, Charlie confesses he is not, in fact, the last of the Knights. He was merely a squire who fled from battle, unbeknownst to him at the time it would be the battle which eradicated the White Army. Racked with guilt, he appropriated his master’s armor and legacy in an attempt to avenge the fallen guild.

Later, Hatter returns, joyfully announcing the Resistance will help. The trio simply must wait for an escort to the Caterpillar’s whereabouts. Their victory is cut short by Jack’s appearance, sword in hand with minor chords as his leitmotif. After some heavy-handed dialogue, it is revealed Jack is one of the good guys, serving as an undercover operative in the Queen’s court.

This was meant by the producers to be dramatic, however, the producers seem to have forgotten the dramatic reveal was already made in the previous installment. Jack’s true allegiances have been redundantly made obvious to us, the viewers, but Hatter needs more proof. In order to prove to Hatter that Jack can be trusted, Alice reveals the location of the Stone of Wonderland. The jeweled ring was placed on the finger of the deceased White King, enshrined nearby inside Charlie’s compound.

As serendipity would have it, Jack was also the Resistance’s escort. Jack leads Charlie, Hatter and Alice across forest and field to a building adorned with a clockwork facade. Inside, on the third floor, they meet Caterpillar, a man dressed like Sgt Pepper, floating in a canoe in a swimming pool. The quirky leader of the resistance is played well by Harry Dean Stanton, whose name and face involuntarily force anyone near a computer to Google his complete filmography. Stanton is a great character actor, known for his roles in classic westerns and the films of David Lynch. But, like all character actors, he will forever be known as, “that guy, where have I seen him before?…”

Caterpillar agrees to reacquaint Alice with her father, but warns she may not like the results. Up on the roof of his building, Caterpillar somehow magically transports Alice’s father to them, revealing him to be: The Carpenter. Yes, apparently decades ago, Alice’s father was kidnapped, brainwashed, put to work in the Queen’s laboratories, and has been synthesizing emotions into Wonderland tea without any memory of his past life on Earth. This is why Jack sought out Alice; to reunite her with her father, and possibly stop the abduction of humans and the production of tea altogether.

The mind-wiped Carpenter is disbelieving at first, but after a series of memory recovery attempts, Alice’s father’s past life slowly starts to trickle back. Before the memories fully return, Alice gives Carpenter the wristwatch and a hug, but the whole touching moment is ruined by Mad March and his minions. Caterpillar disappears in a puff of smoke, leaving Alice and Jack in police custody.

Watching from afar, Charlie and Hatter scheme a plan to rescue the apprehended heroes, utilizing the element of surprise. On horseback (apparently they found horses with saddles somewhere), Hatter quixotically charges the operatives, but is bested with one swift blow. Charlie, reprising his role of battlefield coward, rides his horse in the opposite direction, fleeing the scene in terror. The Queen, now in possession of the Stone, flaunts her victory over the imprisoned heroes before using the magic ring to activate the looking glass and abduct more humans from Earth.

Back at his fortress, Charlie berates himself for his cowardly deeds and his charlatan ways. In one last attempt to redeem himself, he stages all-out war against the Queen, using his limited tools and MacGyver-like resourcefulness to his advantage. Assembling the skeletal remains of his fallen brethren just far enough from the casino walls to hide their bony structure, Charlie produces a very realistic illusion of an army. The Queen falls for the ruse, assuming thousands of zombie Knights have been resurrected for revenge. Using strategically placed crossbows, catapults and trebuchets, the climax begins.

To defend against Charlie’s outward attacks, The Queen shifts the entirety of her security force to the castle walls, leaving the inner compounds completely unguarded. Already inside the casino’s perimeter, Alice, Hatter and Jack escape their respective holding cells, and attempt to bring down the Queen’s empire, literally, from within. Alice and Hatter locate the casino gaming floor, and snap the kidnapped participants out of their hallucinatory haze. Jack, meanwhile, reunites with Duchess and flees from captivity.

Carpenter witnesses the effects of Alice’s liberation plan, and wishes to join his daughter in celebration. Carpenter’s partner, The Walrus, wants Alice dead and order restored. The two fight until Walrus draws a pistol, which Carpenter tries to wrestle away from him, accidentally discharging a bullet in Walrus’ chest. But when in a terrible sci-fi/fantasy film has a single bullet ever killed a villain? After a tearful reunion between Carpenter and his daughter, giving closure to Alice’s abandonment and father issues, Walrus somehow stumbles in unharmed, and shoots Carpenter in the back.

Hatter tears Alice away from her deceased father as the building begins to collapse around them. From the battlefield, Charlie fires one final shot from his crossbow, effectively and literally toppling the casino like a house of cards. The Queen of Hearts confronts Alice outside the wreckage of her once great palace, but removed from her armies, her power and her influence, the bitter crone is unable to best Alice in any form. Seeing the need for leadership in this new world order, Jack strolls in nobly, retrieves the Stone for safekeeping, and dethrones his mother.

As the abducted Earthlings return home, Alice says her goodbyes to her new friends. Charlie feels completely vindicated, and promises to spread the legend of Alice eternally. Alice is approached by Jack, who offers the role of queen to Alice. Alice turns down the offer, implying Jack should stay with Duchess. As for Hatter, the pair exchange melancholy goodbyes, and Alice leaves, never looking back. With a quick departure, Alice returns to her own world through the Looking Glass, awaking in a hospital bed. Apparently, it was all just a dream.

Or was it? Returning to her normal life, Alice is saved by a “Construction Worker” who found her and brought her to the hospital. A construction worker who looks suspiciously like Hatter with a bad mustache. And he has all the memories of Hatter and Alice together, allowing the pair to skip any awkward conversation and move straight to a passionate kiss as the credits role. What a schmaltzy ending.

In conclusion, Alice is a bad film. The characters are poorly written and inconsistent, the special effects are lousy, the writing is unpolished and scatterbrained, and the concept of taking a classic work of literature and giving it an edgy, 21^st century attitude needs to stop. The mini-series tries to do too many things, and actually delivers on very few. But, in terms of a SyFy movie, Alice is a good film. The scenery and art direction was nice, the action was consistent, the acting was well done, and with a few exceptions, the pacing did not falter. Whether Alice was a worthwhile endeavor depends entirely on the subjective opinions of the viewer. It’s not Casablanca, but it’s not trying to be. It’s trying to be Godzilla Vs. Megalon. “Alice” is a SyFy original mini-series, nothing more, nothing less. Take from that what you will.

Quick, when I say the words “SyFy Original Movie,” what images immediately rush to mind? Hokey CGI effects? Laughable character motivation? Bafflingly obtuse plots and stories? Now imagine this heralded brand, responsible for such masterpieces as “Ice Spiders” and “S.S. Doomtrooper,” attempting to interpret one of the most beloved pieces of western fiction ever.

This is the mindset one must enter before attempting to understand Alice, the SyFy mini-series. In a nutshell, the story is essentially a third installment of the Alice in Wonderland saga, if Lewis Carroll were alive and writing today, preferred teleplays to novels, had abandoned Victorian-era satire for dystopic art direction, and was intent on destroying the franchise so badly that no one would ever again be able to continue it. For those who remembered last year’s Tin Man, this is the exact same thing, simply swapping out The Wizard of Oz for Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass.

Our surreal experience begins in the modern world. Alice, our titular heroine, is a typical urbanite who spends her free time divided between scouring the internet for the possible location of her disappeared father, and courting Jack Chase, a well-to-do Englishman who is being pursued by a Man in Black. After a dinner date, Jack invites Alice to meet his family, promising “an adventure.” He tries to give her a jewel-encrusted ring in conjunction with the invitation. Alice shoots the mysterious gentleman down, insisting he is moving too fast. Jack leaves heartbroken and nervous, attempting to go unnoticed down the city streets.

Discovering that Jack had slipped the ring into her pocket unnoticed, Alice furiously chases after Mr. Chase for an answer, only to discover him being beaten and thrown into an unmarked van. Alice is then approached by a mysterious stranger in white (later revealed as an operative of The White Rabbits, a totalitarian police force), who forcibly takes the ring from her. Alice chases the aristocratic gent down an alleyway until she trips through an inexplicably placed mirror.

Rather than finding herself on the other side of a rabbit hole, Alice instead finds herself in a flooded industrial hallway, adorned with hanging wires and flickering fluorescent lights. Thus begins the “edgy” attitude SyFy attempts to impart on the story. There doesn’t have to be any explanation as to why things look the way they do, as long as it looks like an isolated screengrab from Blade Runner, SyFy feels it has done its job. Screengrabs aside, the luxury of a budget is clearly absent. There seem to be only six sets throughout the entire feature, each redressed and reused infinitely.

After a couple of unimportant dramatic turns, Alice finds herself on the doorstep of The Mad Hatter, who has taken solace in the back room of the modern, edgy(again) interpretation of a tea party. Here, tea is distributed in a stock market, bought and sold to the highest bidders. The tea in question is treated as a combination currency and narcotic, coming in a variety of colors, each accompanied with an emotion, each promising beneficial physical effects. Except for the glass bottles, it is exactly like Vitamin Water.

The Mad Hatter is portrayed by Andrew-Lee Potts, who does a fantastic job with the material given. He remains engaging and entertaining, and actually likeable despite his plot-device presence, constantly explaining everything around him. He doesn’t ape for the camera like Johnny Depp appears to do in the trailers for Tim Burton’s upcoming Alice in Wonderland, and he doesn’t act off-the-wall insane like the Disney interpretation. Even compared to the original novel, he acts very little like the Mad Hatter. Potts creates his own original personality of an eccentric, headstrong entrepreneur. This character is likable and believable, despite several plot points that later contradict every piece of information given by him. Regardless, he is only my second-favorite interpretation of the character, with Tom Petty in the “Don’t Come Around Here No More” music video permanently taking the top spot.

Feeling sympathetic to Alice, Hatter, as he is called by everyone, aids Alice on her quest for answers and her boyfriend. Apparently, humans from the real world are routinely abducted and brought into Wonderland, where they are called “Oysters,” dubbed as such due to the “Pearls nestled inside.” Oysters are harvested and drained of emotions and feelings, which then get fermented into the all-coveted tea. The fermentation process is watched over by The Walrus and The Carpenter, an odd decision as they were not even canonically present in any of the Alice stories, appearing in a poem as pieces of folklore.

When brought into Wonderland, Oysters are branded by a special magical light that produces a henna tattoo, a decision I’m sure made sense at the time of writing. Afterward, the Oysters are transported to the Queen of Hearts casino, where they are brainwashed to participate mindlessly in a series of casino games, in which they always win. The ensuing joyful emotions are then drained from their bodies. The Queen of Hearts, played ably by Kathy Bates, presides over the whole operation, loving the power, the money, and the control. He who controls the spice controls the universe; she who controls the tea controls the… Wonderland.

Like all good dystopian by-the-number works, where there is an autocracy, there is a resistance movement. Desperate for assistance, Hatter brings Alice to Dodo, played by the always remarkable Tim Curry. Claiming Hatter’s philanthropy is nothing more than carpetbagging, Dodo refuses to help, insisting Hatter’s affable demeanor is little help to the cause. Deciding bribery is the proper junction, Hatter presents the ring Jack gave Alice at the beginning only to discover it is the legendary MacGuffin known as “The Stone of Wonderland.”

The Stone of Wonderland apparently is the source for the looking glass’ power, the magical entryway which allows access back and forth between Wonderland and the real world. With it, Dodo’s resistance can seize control. Without it, the Queen of Hearts’ Oyster influx will dwindle. Desperate for its acquisition, The Queen enlists the help of hired gun, The Mad March. Unfortunately, March is dead and is resurrected by The Carpenter using, of all things, a cookie jar for his head. Speaking like a combination of a Dalek and Ray Liotta, the cybernetic Frankenstein March reluctantly agrees to hunt down Alice and retrieve the ring.

Unable to trust the coveting Dodo, Hatter decides the best course of action is to get Alice back home. However, the porcelain-headed lagomorphic robot mercenary finds them first. Hiding from March in a nearby forest on the opposite side of a conveniently placed lake, Hatter and Alice soon encounter the terrifying Jabberwock. Described poetically as a fearsome creature of might by Carroll, whose might is further polished by an associated lithograph, the Jabberwock is a classic monster of literary lore. On the SyFy Network, however, he is a poorly rendered piece of computer animation. He looks terrible. With one awkward whiffle through the tulgey wood, all respect instantly disappears. The leviathan looks like the brain-dead offspring of a catfish and Trogdor the Burninator. The googly-eyed goof’s intelligence matches his outward appearance, literally impaling his own head on a pointy stick. Terry Gilliam’s Jabberwock was more intimidating than this thing.

After their confusing victory, Hatter and Alice are discovered by The White Knight, the last of his kind. Talking like an American stereotype of English knights at a Renaissance Fair, The White Knight is portrayed by Matt Frewer, perhaps best known for his portrayal as Max Headroom. During his lengthy, drawn-out dialogue I mentally inserted several electronic st-st-stutters to pass the time.

The White Knight escorts the displaced duo to his homestead, an abandoned village whose dilapidated majesty puts Machu Picchu to shame. Known in the books for his inventive nature, one of few elements properly adapted, The White Knight shows off wind-powered turbines, a series of Rube Goldberg contraptions, and an early-warning perimeter alarm system, which warns our heroes of the approaching March.

Feeling that the plot was too linear and easy to understand, the writers then bestow another plotline upon us. Despite all ensuing danger, Alice wanders off into a field, where her pet cat somehow appears and leads her to a cave where she begins to see visions of her past. Apparently, Alice’s father didn’t abandon her as a child, he was abducted and brought to Wonderland. But before she can get reveal any detail that would be beneficial to the viewing audience, she is abducted by March and his minions.

At the casino, The Queen of Hearts and her court drill Alice for the location of the ring. The unbudging Alice plays dumb, having hid the ring safely at some point during the last three scenes. As part of a plea bargain, the court promises to reunite her with the long-missing Jack, only to reveal Jack Chase is actually Jack Heart, the son of the Queen of Hearts. Still covertly true to his girlfriend, Jack spares Alice from execution, albeit by sending her instead to the Truth Room, the Gitmo of Wonderland. He also slips her a wristwatch, which Alice recognizes as her father’s. Apparently, her father is still alive and well, albeit more Oyster-fied than she remembers.

In the Truth Room, Alice is questioned by the two remaining unused characters from the Alice universe, Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Subjecting her to a visually disorienting interrogation concerning the location of the ring, which looks less menacing and more like a Popsicle commercial from the 90′s, brothers Dee and Dum discover Alice’s weakness, a fear of heights, which they use to ruthlessly torment the poor lass. The scene ends with a stinger chord and scenes of the next installment.

When Lewis Carroll created Wonderland, he created a world wrought with fantasy laced with confusion in an attempt to disorient and challenge conception. When things didn’t make sense, it’s because he wanted the reader to feel sympathy with the heroine, equally confused about her circumstances and surroundings. When SyFy does it, it’s because of bad writing and plotholes. Few elements are explained, and those that are are explained glibly and abandoned, like breadcrumbs thrown on the ground – for pigeons, not so the watcher can find his way.

If the Stone of Wonderland is needed for the looking glass’ operation, how did Alice and the other Oysters enter in the first place? How can a currency based on a consumable liquid be possible? How can people be abducted a dozen at a time from a major metropolitan area, and no one raises an eyebrow? Why is the magical passageway between parallel universes kept in a random back alley, not even covered by a drop cloth? If Jack attempted to hide the Stone of Wonderland in the real world, why did he simultaneously give it to Alice and invite her back to Wonderland? How come Andrew-Lee Potts looks more like a rabbit than any of the rabbit-themed characters? What do the producers have against the Jabberwock? Most importantly, if Wonderland is in fact a real place, how come the fictional works of Lewis Carroll simultaneously exist, even going so far as to have the characters refer to themselves as being from literature?

It’s unfair to pass judgment at this point; we are only halfway through the story. Also, one or more of these plotholes may be explained, leaving me markedly impatient and insolent. However, I willingly stake my television critic’s reputation against SyFy’s storytelling ability. From this point, Jefferson Airplane’s telling of the Alice saga was more faithful.