For the rest of…not so much.  Transformers 3 clatchets its’ way into the box office line up this weekend and analysts are pegging it’s holiday gross as high as $150-200M (from Wednesday to Monday night).  It’s the big July 4^th holiday movie, surrounded only by a meager Tom Hanks/Julia Robert drama-romance vehicle and some teen fodder via pop teen queen Selena Gomez’s new film – surely it can hit that number?  I’m going to say no, and here’s why:

First the story.  T3 picks up about 4 years from the last film.  Although it’s based in current day, it’s premise is rooted in the the past; the true life space race between the Soviets and the US in the 1960’s.  Apparently a strange, and very large, object crashed on the moon and the strong political push by then President John F. Kennedy and subsequently Richard Nixon, to get us on the moon was all about beating the Russians who also had the same intelligence.  When Neil Armstrong and company landed, their mission was truly about reconnaissance not just simple space exploration.  The crew discovers a crashed ship with a giant metal man at the helm proving the existence of life elsewhere (of course we know it’s a transformer, but which one?).  Meanwhile, at present day, the Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, continue their mission of helping the US to police the globe while quietly hunting Decepticons.  Our young hero Sam Witwicky has graduated from the Ivy League institution discretely funded by the US government, and now resides with his new girlfriend Carly in a pretty sweet bungalow on the hopping side of town.  Barred from government Transformer action, he discovers an ivy league education isn’t what it used to be as he struggles with unemployment while continuing to look for that next ‘dare to be great’ opportunity.  After bumbling into a job at a NASA funded thinktank, as of all things a mailboy, he stumbles onto information about a secret plan being hatched by the Decepticons involving the ‘dark side of the moon.’   Turns out, even that ship simply crashing on the moon with an unknown pilot was ‘more than meets the eye!’

Long winded huh?  Little bit?  That’s because this was a long film.  2 hours and 37 minutes to be exact, and that does not include previews.  This was Michael Bay’s ‘Titanic’ opus.  The only thing missing was his signature 360 degree pan-around-body shot (made famous in ‘Bad Boys’, and reused for ‘The Rock’ all the way up to his 2005 dud ‘The Island’).  This epic has to be hands down, some of the best CGI and in-and-out 3D I’ve seen on the big screen.   Even simple movements through traffic were detailed enough to provide 3D in almost every corner.  Some real care was taken in the editing room and you’ll hear all about it next Feb come Oscar time.

The problem is, so many mistakes were made in other places, it overshadows what is just a pure 3D delight (witness the promos of those men flying around the buildings…whooh!)  Let’s start with our hottie du jour Rosie Huntington-Whitely (Victoria Secret model turned actress) who portrays Sam’s love interest Carly.  No one is going to argue that this woman is hot, hey she’s a VS model – we know she’s hot.   But Bay made a similar mistake as he did with Megan Fox (Bad Boys) in the previous films.  Megan was too hot for the films, she overshadowed the cars, she was more of a visual distraction than the cheesy CGI blurs of transformation in the first film.  While Fox was distractingly hot, Whitely is just TOO HOT to be in such an unbelievable relationship.  Granted, Sam saved the world twice and has ‘sacked up’ for the cause, but experiencing a girlfriend like Megan Fox and then followed by a woman who is arguably just as hot, is just too unrealistic.  It’s like hitting the lottery twice for a zillion dollars…3 days apart!  It doesn’t happen.  Topple the pairing with the idea that he’s unemployed and she makes their living as an assistant curator for an eccentric millionaire who, queue the cliché, has a thing for her.  In her defense, I can’t blame her for the role, it’s all Director Michael Bay’s (Meatloaf’s epic music video, I Would Do Anything For Love) doing.  He likes pretty things and they are on display a-plenty here.  Bar scenes, work environments – there isn’t a single unattractive woman…anywhere.   He’ll even lead you to believe that Carly could endure this epic explosion laden, building crashing, high speed running, roof diving adventure all the while sporting 4 inch heels…without missing a step.

Continuing the horrid casting was the voice of Leonard Nimoy (TV’s Star Trek) as Sentinel Prime.  Not that his voice is so bad, and never once did I envision ‘Spock’ in my head as I listened.  Of course, that was all the way up until his robotic entity started spouting old lines from the Star Trek movies (I’m not kidding).  Speaking of voices, somebody chime in and give your thoughts on Optimus Prime’s voice throughout the film.  Call me crazy, but in some areas it almost sounded like a different person.  You can chalk up John Turturro’s (Do The Right Thing) reprisal of Agent Simmons to some really bad box office timing.  Turturro’s voice is currently featured in the new Cars film, and if you’ve seen it recently, hearing his voice and seeing him is going to feel a bit strange.  I kept thinking he was about to jump into an Italian race car and speed away towards the Decepticons.  The icing on the cake belongs to my sweetheart, Frances McDormand (Darkman) who takes a turn as a top level US government Director overseeing the Transformers operation.  Sadly, even she must submit to a storyline that degrades her into being a lovelorn fool trapped inside a grafty and stern exterior.

Adding to the oddities is this concept of ‘robot blood’ which seems new for the series.  For some reason, the filmmakers don’t believe we can grasp the true nature of a deadly blow to a robot unless we see the affected spewing something from their orifices.  And because its robot oil/blood, and not the real thing, it can safely ride a PG-13 rating?

Bottom line, this is a solid 3D vehicle and will definitely give you your money’s worth in that sense, but outside of that, don’t go thinking the promos are ‘more than meets the eye.’  If you want a great display of action and female eye-candy, this is your movie.  If you want a substantial story and a believable plot, you might want to look elsewhere.

3 Stars Out of 5

Transformers, Dark Of The Moon 3D is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, mayhem and destruction, and for language, some sexuality and innuendo.

This past week, I revisited the Back to the Future trilogy, directed by Robert Zemeckis. These films essentially laid the groundwork for Michael J. Fox’s career — the man is synonymous with Marty McFly. The movies are a mad dash, guaranteed to raise your stress level and blood pressure no matter how many times you see them. I swear, I always think Dr. Emmett Brown and Marty are going to miss their one lighting quick chance to send Marty back to the future in the first film, despite watching it happen probably hundreds of times.

They got me thinking though — do we have any young actors like Fox in these films, frantic but cool, likeable but authoritative? Do any young guys have a role that’s so synonymous with their name that they’ll never be able to part from it?

Shia LeBeouf, for example, is probably most closely associated with the Transformers movies. As Sam Witwicky, he has the Spielbergian frantic nature of the young male role down pat. He’s aloof and certainly likeable (perhaps diminished by his off-screen personality, in some people’s opinions). But I never felt while watching those films that he was supposed to be anything but “cool.” Marty McFly was cool, but also in over his head, naive and fairly stupid. LeBeouf actually probably comes closer to resembling this in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, a role that he was pretty hated for.

It seems that Hollywood has been unable to tether young actors to blockbuster roles the way Fox has forever been tied to McFly. Heath Ledger will obviously be legendary for his work as The Joker, but he was approaching his thirties, and certainly The Joker wasn’t a hero. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, despite turning in stunningly great performances, doesn’t conjure up a particular name other than his own.

Daniel Radcliffe is the only actor, in my mind, who has achieved this — he is the face of the Harry Potter franchise, and likely always will be. Perhaps Robert Pattinson in Twilight, as much as it hurts me to say, embodies this as well? Michael Cera still has a chance, as does Emile Hirsch, to become the face of a series or franchise that a generation can connect to.

Two notes before I’m out of here — first, this isn’t to say that young actors aren’t turning in good work. In fact, I’d argue that the shift from big blockbuster roles to more sophisticated character pieces is a great thing that’s happened. I’d much rather see Emile Hirsch turn in a wonderful performance in Milk than another Speed Racer, and Gordon-Levitt’s (500) Days of Summer was as relatable to me as a young man as any big blockbuster could hope to be.

Second: I’m not excluding female actors for any reason other than I intend to write more about their presence in big Hollywood films in the future. That, and I think the male dominance in pop culture-accessible roles like Marty McFly in Back to the Future has shifted to a female dominance in a big, big way.

Till next time, folks.

In short – this is one hell of an action packed, white knuckle, thrill ride!

Eagle Eye, D.J. Caruso‘s latest film is the 2nd best film of the year behind The Dark Knight! Yes I know that is a bold statement with the likes of Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, and Indiana Jones premiering in ’08.

Yes I also know that there will be Watchmen, and The Spirit and others out this year to follow. And I will stand by this film till the end. This movie kicked so much ass!

From the first few minutes of the film, introducing us to Jerry Shaw (Shia LaBeouf) and Rachael Holloman (Michelle Monaghan), we see a connection on the big screen. Not necessarily between the two of them but between the viewer and them. You actually start to care for these two strangers very quickly. You want to know what is happening, who their family is and most of all what their story is. Then all of a sudden the ride starts and doesn’t end for another hour and a half. This thrill ride follows two ordinary folks, or so it seems, through a maze of calculated steps to achieve an end goal of extraordinary measures. From FBI mishaps, to the Air Force, to top secret levels in warehouses that don’t exist, we follow these two everywhere.

From the start of the film you get a sense that something big is happening. Bigger than the people we are quickly getting to know more about. Jerry is a normal guy working at “Copy Cabana” and Rachael is a single mom working as a paralegal . With Jerry’s twin brother just dying and Rachael’s son just sent off on a school field trip, they are both very alone in their sad lives.

With a twist of fate the two each receive a phone call from a woman with very explicit instructions to follow. This is when the action becomes so intense I thought my fingers lost circulation from holding onto one another so tight.

The direction from Caruso was great if you ask me. The way the camera moves and the acting by Shia and Michelle made me believe I was part of their crazy thrill ride. The score itself left a little to be desired but at the same time, most folks don’t sit through a movie thinking, do I like the music in this movie?

Overall I would recommend this to almost anyone, short of folks who are stupid enough to bring their young children to any movie. The action is non stop, the intelligence is believable and the world we live in just got creepier.

With lots of oohs and ahhs from the crowd, you can’t expect much more from a sleeper hit. This movie will do well and I promise you will be worth price of admission.

I was able to bring a buddy of mine to the showing who works in the intelligence sector and working with data encryption, way over our heads. His statement at the end of the movie, a big smile and said “That was the best movie I have ever seen”. Take it with a grain of salt, but this should knock your socks off.

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆ 

With all the crap going on about the drunkard known as Shia LaBeouf, and all of the talk about how much he is going to cost Michael Bay per day, these posters for the upcoming film have popped up. Maybe to subtract from the negative press the film is garnering?

I honestly think they are a little low budget to be real but I could be wrong. What do you all think? Are these real posters for “Transformers:Revenge of the Fallen”?