G.I. Joe, where have you been all summer? Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and X-Men Origins: Wolverine failed to deliver the kind of mindless, entertaining fun that summer so often brings while everything else outside of Star Trek has been more concerned with being artistic than enjoyable. It’s strange, scribing those sentences and the ones that will be written considering all the bashing and hate I’ve spewed toward Stephen Sommers ever since he poisoned humanity with Van Helsing. He picked the right year to finally make a decent film; Sommers not only beat, but destroyed Michael Bay at his own game. Yes, as much of a shock as this will be to some of you, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is not the worst film ever made. In fact, it’s the G.I. Joe movie one imagines when playing with action figures as a boy.

Sommers not only beat, but destroyed Michael Bay

Back to Sommers though, who (for starters) I owe an apology to. The material is well-suited for him – cheesy, patriotic and bombastic. True, a serious G.I. Joe film would be intriguing. Sommers is able to capture the spirit and tone of the cartoons and comic books. We’re never promised an award-winning plot or artiste acting. Not the product Sommers wants to deliver to us. He provides us with exactly what we wanted out of all those comics and ‘toons which is good guys and bad guys knocking the hell out of each other. And boy do we get plenty of that, as G.I. Joe assaults with one exciting action scene after another, giving just enough time for everyone to catch his breath before ramping things back up again. The much hyped Paris scene doesn’t disappoint and maintains a perfect thrill ride of an action sequence. Missiles whiz by, men jump over and through trains and mayhem ensues. Best of all, the entire thing is coherent and displays some engaging action shots that tell the adrenaline to pump.

Yet with these exciting, thrilling sequences, Sommers is kind enough to let each of the characters have a moment to shine. No one character takes the spotlight from the others as each contributes to taking down the villains in some way, shape or form. For instance in the last battle, one can easily follow who’s fighting who and who’s doing what. Snake Eyes has an epic showdown with Storm Shadow, Duke chases down Cobra Commander and Destro, Ripcord has to save D.C. and Moscow, while Heavy Duty destroys Cobra subs left and right. Sommers allows the characters to all be unique so we know who’s on screen, and it’s not carbon copies of Duke or General Hawk. It’s not a case of getting to know a main character, but knowing who is who and how different purposes mesh. Quite honestly, this is a pretty good example of how to handle a film that deals with a team working together.

Taking a deeper look at the team, most of the actors fit like a glove and, like in Paramount’s other great summer film, they help to elevate the movie. The biggest surprise comes in the form of Marlon Wayans’ Ripcord who actually has some form of a screen presence. Known for his comedy stylings, Wayans keeps it in check here and delivers a solid leading performance. The movie, for many fans, will rest on how Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow are portrayed. Fear not, both are handled exceptionally well, especially Ray Park’s turn as the mute ninja. Unfortunately he’s only in a handful of scenes but by the same token, he gets the best stuff to do. Essentially, Park is in Darth Maul-mode but that doesn’t make Snake Eyes any less of a performance. While the film doesn’t delve into her romance with the aforementioned ninja, Rachel Nichols just feels right as Scarlett. She’s tough when she needs to be, sassy when she needs to be, and sexy at all times. Rounding them out is Dennis Quaid, who hams it up to just the right degree as General Hawk.

On the Cobra side of things, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is Cobra Commander. He was a worry going into the picture, but he comes out as the best of all the Cobra operatives by far. He’s menacing and recreates the voice long-time fans are accustomed to without having it sound too over-the-top. Christopher Eccelston holds his own as Destro, although he’s really a downgrade compared to what Gordon-Levitt is doing. Eccelston is still enjoyable, but hardly menacing or conniving. His main squeeze (The Baroness) will surely take away the breath of any male left by Rachel Nichols. Sienna Miller’s fine here, even when she’s not being sexy (which she excels at in this picture). Lee Byung-hun compliments the great work by Ray Park as Snake Eyes’ rival Storm Shadow, never playing the character with angst but a competent coldness. Arnold Vosloo is pure gold as Zartan.

With all of these fine performances on hand, the one who messes up the worst is Channing Tatum. He was originally against doing the film and maybe it should have stayed that way. He’s the John Cena of this group, always showing one emotion and only two or three tones of voice. He’s a tough sell as Duke largely due to Tatum’s complete lack of screen presence. If that’s not enough, he doesn’t have any of the aura of command that the role of Duke needs. The film doesn’t necessarily need it, as it does focus on the team, but it lacks the presence of the other strong protagonists. Duke is just there, admiring all the cool stuff and going along with the flow like his audience. The difference, though, is that he needs to be engaging. We don’t.

Having finally seen the movie, it’s a letdown that Paramount handled things like they did. Understandably it was a troubled production as the trailers didn’t excite anyone and the accelerator suits were huge turn-offs. They had the film they wanted with Revenge of the Fallen and it’s entirely possible The Rise of Cobra will perform better with critics and audiences. It should, as it has some top-notch effects (surprising for Sommers, who usually goes cheap), and some of the most engaging action of the summer.

That’s what G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is at the core. Pure dumb fun, this is the G.I. Joe film fans want and should come away happy with. It doesn’t mask what it is, and that works in the movie’s favor. After Terminator Salvation, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen it’s time for a movie to come and keep to the basics of stupid fun. The boy (or girl) in all of us will want to proclaim it the greatest movie that ever happened and it’s good to know these type of films still exist. Welcome back, Dumb Fun Action Film. This summer’s needed and missed you.

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

That’s right, everyone’s favorite eighties all-American hero is jumping out into the big screen in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. The Stephen Sommers (Van Helsing) directed action adventure piece stars Channing Tatum (Fighting), Sienna Miller (Stardust) among others. An elite military unit comprised of special operatives known as G.I. Joe, operating out of The Pit, takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer. Running it’s way into theaters nationwide on August 7th, here’s the trailer below.

Baroness' Assets

Finally, someone gets an interview with Stephen Sommers(The Mummy franchise) on his new upcoming film, G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra. Entertainment Weekly sat down with him and talked with the future of the movie, the Sienna Miller rumors and what inspired him to do the movie.

On Sienna Miller’s added assets:

“I guess the costume department gave her a tight fitting bra, but no one gave her rubber breasts or whatever. It is 100 percent Sienna Miller.”

The Inspiration for the movie:

“Sommers adds that G.I. Joe, which also stars Dennis Quaid and features a cameo from his Mummy star Brendan Fraser, was partly inspired by the Sean Connery-era James Bond movies. “I always loved the old Bonds,” he says. “It’s funny now how Bond wants to be Bourne. I loved Quantum of Solace, but it was like, man, this is a completely different movie to the Bonds I grew up with. In a very contemporary way, G.I. Joe is inspired by the memory of the kind of movies I saw when I was younger. I remember being in the theater for Thunderball and the big underwater battle at the end of that movie just blew my socks off. In G.I. Joe, there’s an underwater battle under the polar icecap that’s Thunderball times 10!”

So, is anyone else still scared to see the outcome of this film? What are your thoughts so far? You plan on seeing it come August?

I hope this finds you well after a long weekend. I can’t complain although after a few parties and a wedding this weekend, I am seriously missing out on some solid sleep.

I thought I would do a weekend recap and throw you folks a bone. Enjoy the latest in news from some of my friends in the business.

• Watchmen is clocking in at just over 3 hours? Can you sit that long without your arse falling asleep?
• Sydney Pollack dies at age 73.
• Indiana Jones make well over 300 million in its opening weekend, is that more than Iron Man?
• Sienna Miller looks hot in dripping Blood. G.I. Joe updates.
• Tolkien’s son is trying to stop The Hobbit.
• 80 photos of The Happening, now you don’t need to see the film!

There is a ton more out there on the web, you can find it if you want more! I, for the time being, need to get some work done for once!

Well all of the below have been strewn about the internet as of yesterday, I thought I would wait just a bit for the cast to come together. Below is what we have so far. GI Joe is due to hit theaters on August 7th 2009. So we shall see how much will change by then.

Marlon Wayans as Ripcord

Channing Tatum as Duke

Sienna Miller as The Baroness (Hottie!)

Dennis Quaid as General Hawk (Nice Beret)

Saïd Taghmaoui as Breaker

Byung-hun Lee as Storm Shadow

Chris Eccleston as Destro

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Heavy Duty (Echo is that you?)

What do you think? I am not impressed and it looks to be alittle on th cheesy side if you ask me! Thanks goes out to /Film for the link gathering!!

Click the photos for the direct links to the exclusive pics.