Between How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men I’d say CBS has the classic sitcom down to a sweet science. “Twin Beds” actually reminded me of a funny epiphany I had as a child “Lucy and Ricky sleep in separate twin beds” at that stage in my life I knew that married couples slept in the same bed and thought that was the way it was supposed to be. Now I’m not so sure of that arrangement and I can actually hear myself saying one or any of the complaints Marshall said to himself while trying to share a mattress with Lily.

“My god, she’s a thousand degrees! It’s like putting my leg against a tail pipe.”

“I’d love a sandwich but ‘no eating in bed’ stupid rule. We have ants one time!”

“My knee itches, just one little scratch…”

Marshall slept for 18 hours and lost 11 pounds, how bad can sleeping in separate beds be?

Maybe my favorite running joke through “Twin Beds” was the fact that based on reasonable observations Don believed Ted to be gay. Now if Ted turned out to be gay then I’d call that the greatest twist in storytelling history but for any number of reason we know Ted is not gay, just for giggles here are a few of the things Don has heard Ted say that sounded… gay.

“Just wanna make sure Project Runway is recording.”

“Did the Jets get new costumes?”

“Well I guess we won’t be having crème brûlée tonight, my browning torch is broken.”

“Cher puts on a helluva show.”

As for Don’s issue with Robin’s closeness with her ex-boyfriends… I’m with you Don, it ain’t natural.

“The Letter” obviously doesn’t work, but why would any of us believe that Ted has any relationship wisdom? The guy consistently makes terrible choices, five seasons of bad choices! Though I did like this line from Barney’s letter, “honka-honka.”

The Ted and Barney aren’t over Robin story was the worst of the evening, but the above photo was well worth the trouble. Hugs.

“Cost me a fortune”

Poor rich Jay, his trophy wife spends his money on… him. But I do understand where he’s coming from when he says, “I don’t like activities” I believe there are two types of vacationers- doers and do not-ers. When I am on vacation I am a do not-er and when you’re on vacation with the whole family it’s hard to not do anything. Family: you don’t gotta love ‘em but ya should. Now the Prichett family vacation could be a freeloader-loaded event and they could’ve easily left Mitchell and Phil behind but they didn’t and that’s what makes this episode different from Home Alone. That and Cameron doing everything he can to keep Lily awake so that she’ll sleep on the plane.

Speaking of Cameron, we learned that he wants to dance. I’ll say it again- what won’t we learn about Cameron?

PHIL QUOTES!

“Thanks Darrell, I know I got a lotta baggage but don’t worry- I’m seeing a therapist. Just kidding, I’m fine.”

“Sometimes I wish you were my mom.”

“Uncle Phil’s here.”

“Slow is smooth and smooth is fast” is that what Phil was saying? Is that kinda like “do it right the first time” probably not, can’t imagine Phil doing much right the first time.

“The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere but not me, I’m completely clueless.”

“You weigh less than my paintball gear.”

Anybody goin’ on a Modern Family style vacation this summer?

After a significant decline in viewers this year, Fox has canceled 24. About an hour ago, producer Jon Cassar revealed on his Twitter that the show will not return for a ninth season, saying:

“News from the 24 set,the crew has been told that 24 has come to an end. There will b no season 9. Its been a great run, thans all 4 watching”

This was not very surprising. Earlier this month, Variety reported that season eight would probably be Jack’s final hurrah. However, there was hope for the series when NBC showed interest in picking up the show. That deal has apparently fallen through, presumably due to the high production costs.

I’m sad to see 24 go this way. Although the show has steadily declined ever since the near-perfect first season, I’ve always loved it. With Jack Bauer, Kiefer Sutherland has created a true American hero for our times, as well as one of the best TV characters ever. However, 24 has definitely lost its edge. The show’s premier tragically coincided with 9/11, giving the story added weight. In that first year, the story was fresh, the suspense was unbearable, and the 24-hour concept really paid off.

Unfortunately, after a couple of seasons the characters were still great but we had seen the same story already. Although still a good show, by season 5 it felt old. I kept watching, though, just to see what happened to Jack and Chloe next. The current season is nothing special. Terrorists are still doing what they do, and Jack is there to save the day. The story still has those twists that we’ve come to expect, and in the last few hours, the audience has really been thrown a few curveballs.

Yes, all good things must come to an end. I don’t want this season to be the last, though, unless it was planned that way from the beginning. The show needs a true conclusion, and I am worried that it won’t get one with this abrupt cancellation. I would love for Jack to die in the finale. It’s a fitting end. He’s already sacrificed so much protecting America from terrorists, giving his life for his country would be perfect.

In an interview with THR, showrunner Howard Gordon said, “We’ve taken a risk in the last eight episodes. It was challenging to the writers, to the actors. We’re taking a risk, the show has to do that. Without spoiling what’s to come, it’s pretty dark and complex and a place that was uncomfortable for us to write and for some of the actors to act. We really swung for the fences. Because the show is as old as it is, this season hasn’t really been given its due. But our audience is hanging in there with us and I think it’s been a very successful season.” He also said that, although the ending did not change after the news, he’s hoping that this season is a fitting ending to the series.

So, no more 24 on TV, but the movie is moving ahead as planned. Billy Ray (State of Play) is currently working on a script set in Europe. About the movie, Gordon said, “Jack is really the center of it, catching up with him emotionally and locationally where he is. The opportunity is not to use the real-time aspect and also to do it on a scale the TV show never allowed.”

I don’t think a movie suits this franchise. What set it apart was the 24-hour real-time aspect and the suspense that came from the serial format. When you put it into a film, it becomes an ordinary military thriller. But if the television writers fail us, maybe a proper finale will come in the form of the movie.

Source: /Film

According to CBS CEO Les Moonves, the network’s TV content could become available to download from iTunes at as low as 99 cents per episode.

The announcement comes on the heels of a campaign started last month by Steve Jobs and Apple (AAPL) content boss Eddy Cue to get the networks to lower their prices.

While neither party is currently making significant revenue selling TV content on iTunes, Networks have been apprehensive about cutting prices. They worry further involvement in downloading ventures could cannibalize existing revenues from syndication and DVD sales.

NBC Universal took its programming off back in 2008 in an effort to earn more through iTunes. They succeeded in obtaining a raise of the price ceiling from $1.99 to $ 2.99 an episode. However, the new strategy proposed by CBS has pricing headed in the opposite direction.

“There are certain shows that will be sold on Apple for 99 cents,” Moonves said during the company’s earnings call on Friday. The details on which shows the network would be providing at these lower prices were not discussed.

It is possible CBS is not planning a completely game-changing stance on iTunes downloading. Like other major networks, CBS already offers older programming and new shows it is promoting at discount prices.

However, going on the context of Moonves’s comments, it is clear CBS is planning its pricing structure on more than a one-off basis.

For those of you who are here I am sure you know what you are about to see. For those of you who have no idea what this movie is, well “i Pity the Fool!”. The A-Team is a classic in the most classic way possible. The TV show that ran for an awesome 5 years during the 80s is held close to lots of fans. With this newest reincarnation of a classic, we can only imagine what they will do to our precious baby.

Here is a brief synopsis for you fools! (this is via wikipedia)

The A-Team is an American action adventure television series about a fictional group of ex-United States Army Special Forces who work as soldiers of fortune while being on the run from the military for a “crime they didn’t commit”. The A-Team was created by writers and producers Frank Lupo and Stephen J. Cannell (who also collaborated together on Wiseguy, Riptide and Hunter) at the behest of Brandon Tartikoff, NBC’s Entertainment president.

Despite being thought of as mercenaries by the other characters in the show, the A-Team always acted on the side of good and helped the oppressed. The show ran for five seasons on the NBC television network, from January 23, 1983 to December 30, 1986 (with one additional, previously unbroadcast episode shown on March 8, 1987), for a total of 98 episodes.

It remains known in popular culture for its cartoon-like use of over-the-top violence (in which people were seldom seriously hurt), supposedly formulaic episodes, featuring the ability to form weaponry and vehicles out of old parts, and its distinctive theme tune. The show also served as the springboard for the career of Mr. T, who portrayed the character of B.A. Baracus, around whom the show was initially conceived.^[1][2] Some of the show’s catchphrases such as “I love it when a plan comes together”,^[3] “Hannibal’s on the jazz” and “I ain’t gettin’ on no plane!” have also made their way onto T-shirts and other merchandise.

Although not directly referenced in the series, the name of the show comes from “A-Teams”, the nickname for Operational Detachments Alpha (ODA). The US Army Special Forces uses the term ODA for their 12-man direct operations teams.

Enjoy the trailer below:

Let us know what you think. Does this ruin the original or has it been to long since you last saw/thought about it? Let us know in the comments below.

Back in the nineties, there was a big controversy over advertising cigarettes. Apparently, certain tactics were dubbed as “effective.” Almost as if cigarette companies wanted consumers to buy and use their products. The most grievous of these tactics included casting the product in a positive light, showing people enjoying the product, associating it with fun times. But young, impressionable children would see these advertisements and be equally influenced, almost as if fun was a universal concept. So, Granddaddy Government stepped in and put a big fat ban on a large number of advertising methods.

If that wasn’t enough, focus groups went out and tried to change major perception of cancer sticks. No longer could anybody smoke on TV unless they were learning a major lesson on why it’s bad. Pretty soon, movies fell under similar scrutiny. Disclaimers had to be added during the credits scroll, indicating all tobacco consumption was staged, and not endorsed. Puffing a cigarillo is now as equally inglorious as kicking a dog.

Nowadays, smokers have become a persecuted minority. Smoking has become a reviled hobby, the mere mention of which garners nothing but scorn. In certain public areas, smoking is only allowed twenty-five feet away from entrances to buildings. You can’t smoke in public areas, it’s all but gone from restaurants, and is fast disappearing from bars. To quote Eddie Izzard, “no smoking in bars now, and soon, no drinking and no talking!”

I bring all this up because of this week’s episode of How I Met Your Mother. Robin, the only cast member who has been implied to be a regular smoker, is forced to deal with the stress of her job and obnoxious new co-worker, Don. But more about him later. Because of these circumstances, Robin’s occasional nicotine indulgence has blossomed into a full-fledged addiction, resulting in frequent trips to her apartment’s rooftop to enjoy the smoky pasttime.

Marshall, whether fueled entirely by his own stress or lingering second-hand vapors, also picks up the habit. It is revealed that he also smoked before, but only occasionally, usually while drinking. Regardless, Marshall’s new boss is at least partially to blame. The returning Arthur Hobbes, a sadistic corporate suit upon whom Marshall erupted in a fit of rage in Season 3, is played effectively by Bob Odenkirk. Driven absolutely batty by the prospect of comeuppance, Marshall takes to the rooftop with Robin, promising it to be a one-time deal, claiming, “this will be the last cigarette ever.”

Marshall’s cold turkey endeavor seems genuine as he eschews the tobacco-generated clouds for fresh air, only to discover his boss enjoying the habit himself. Apparently, Arthur is told off by lots of people, and doesn’t even remember Marshall’s name. He also is incapable of learning it, frequently getting it wrong throughout the episode. The only thing Marshall can use to his advantage is also the thing he wants least: Arthur really wishes he had a smoking buddy. Wacky sitcom scenario extended. Wacky sitcom scenario accepted.

Returning home, Lily immediately smells the cigarette residue on her husbands clothes. Angry Marshall has started smoking again, Lily does the only sensible thing; starts smoking herself. Previously, Lily was seen smoking only once, on her wedding day. Understandable, as the day was under the jurisdiction of Murphy’s Law. The simple throwaway joke resurfaces here. Claiming they are together for the good and the bad, the pair begin their vacation in Marlboro Country.

Eventually, Ted and Barney adopt the smoking habit as well, not wanting to be ostracized from their friends, displaying one of the least subtle examples of peer pressure in televised media. The quintet seem fine with their decisions at first, but soon begin their steady downgrade in health, which according to television’s Aesop rules, must happen overnight. Ted’s lung capacity drops so much, he can’t climb the stairs to his apartment. Lily’s voice turns into Harvey Fierstein’s. Barney singes one of his ties. And Arthur has a major embolism during one of his smoke breaks. Everyone decides to quit, even Robin, despite still being plagued by work quarrels.

As a seasoned veteran of 39 different local morning talk shows, Don the Anchorman spreads a laid-back philosophy to the crew of Robin’s early, early, early morning talk show. Claiming no one ever watches this type of programming, he proceeds to flub lines intentionally, ignore boring stories, and sit pants-less behind the news desk. His demeanor catches on; Robin soon finds herself being the only person on the crew, sadly, still wearing pants.

Pulling one final Hail Mary to prove her career is not a total waste, Robin invites New York’s Mayor Bloomberg onto the show. When he initially accepts, Robin is ecstatic. When he cancels at the last minute, she struggles to remain composed and dedicated. Bewildered by his partner’s tenacity, Don searches for a way to show Robin that her efforts are in vain. Recognizing the signs of nicotine withdrawal, Don goads Robin into lighting up on air, claiming no possible impression could be made on their non-audience. As Robin reaches for her lighter, she is interrupted by a phone call from her friends, claiming to be the very impressionable audience Robin has been desperately wanting. She puts the cigarettes away, thanking her friends for their conviction and strong wills.

Returning home, Robin finds her friends on the buildings roof, all smoking, all badly trying to hide it. Realizing the patheticness of their situation, the five decide to finish their respective packs and actually make an effort to quit for good. Future Narrator Ted reveals they did stop for the most part. No one fully succumbed to smoking again, but all five kept slipping back on occasion for the rare indulgence. Slipping back to America’s own natural blend of cool, rich and mild flavors.

DISCLAIMER: The preceding recap of How I Met Your Mother contained satirical use of tobacco product endorsement. All endorsement of tobacco has been staged, and no actual product endorsement is intended.

As is the case with most good sitcoms, The Big Bang Theory has characters so deeply flawed to the levels of absurdity, we the viewers often wonder what kind of parenting and upbringing could result in such an outcome. Then we realize that these are fictional characters, they have no parents, and had no upbringing. Luckily, they do have attentive and inventive writers who take advantage of the possibilities, retroactively creating the necessary histories and parental figures for their fictional creations. What follows is dysfunctional family humor that makes our own familial lives look dull and gray by comparison. And just in time for Christmas.

Christine Baranski returns to the Big Bang Theory this week, reprising her Emmy-nominated role as Leonard’s mother. A welcome return, certainly; a character this enjoyable must be revisited. Describing the scholarly stick in the mud is easy. Imagine the demeanor of Lilith from Cheers, crossed with the pomposity of Diane from Cheers, mixed with the poor social awareness of Cliff Clavin from Cheers. This is Dr. Beverly Hofstadter.

Dropping in for the holiday season, Beverly quickly reintroduces herself and reestablishes her character to the cast and the viewing audience. After the formalities, she immediately proffers unsolicited opinions on the central characters; most notable among them, inquiring about Howard and Raj’s latent homosexual attraction towards each other. Either this is a referential self-jab at the characters’ repetitive awkward guy-love themed storylines, or just another example. Either way, it’s nice for the writers to acknowledge the recurring nature of the overused joke. Hopefully, they also know referring to the problem is not the same as fixing it.

Mugging for matriarchal approval, Penny is met only with atypical blonde jokes, gussied up in ten-dollar words. She is also informed that she has unresolved daddy issues. As it turns out, Leonard never bothered to tell his shrewish mother that he was dating Penny. Luckily, before Leonard even gets to formulate a defensive plan, Beverly spills the beans about an upcoming divorce from his father.

Over-rationalizing the way only a psychiatrist can, Beverly is completely confused as to why Leonard would be upset by the news. She and Sheldon drop a bevvy of psychoanalytical terms to rationalize his feelings and justify her decisions, but Leonard cannot be consoled. Especially when he also discovers his pet dog had died.

Because the Christmas spirit has now evaporated faster than dry ice on a hot day, Penny offers to drive Beverly back to her hotel, taking an impromptu detour to a local bar. Upset that Leonard never revealed their relationship, Penny tries to connect with Beverly, easing her into the fact. Intimidated by the combination psychiatrist and neuroscientist, Penny tries her best to convince Beverly that Leonard’s not settling for someone “whose greatest accomplishment is memorizing the entire Cheesecake Factory menu.” Quickly downing repeated shots of tequila, the flighty blonde waitress and the cold brunette scientist try their best to bond, being sidetracked only by a busboy’s shapely behind. The two eventually connect over their one shared interest: Leonard.

Subscribing to the axiom ‘my enemy’s enemy is my friend,’ the two inebriated ladies wonder why Leonard would be hesitant to tell his mother about his girlfriend. Thinking Leonard must either secretly hate his mother, or else be ashamed of Penny, the two ladies leave in a drunken stupor, ready to confront Leonard. However, the rage quickly deflates when Leonard rightly points out that there is no ill-will between him and Penny or his mother. Simply, Leonard didn’t tell Beverly about Penny for the same reasons Beverly didn’t tell him about the divorce; the two simply don’t communicate well.

Christine Baranski’s performance is surely a memorable one. While not exactly big on guffaws, her character is a quirky insight into Leonard’s personality; if anything, her character is engaging comedically because it shakes up the entirety of the program, normally heavy on jokes. Beverly has no great one-liners, but a series of poignant observations, dialogues, and uptight mannerisms which, when simmered properly in a medium skillet over low heat produces a unique character and comedic style. It seems almost as if Beverly was created by an entirely different set of writers for an entirely different show, and is merely visiting The Big Bang Theory as a crossover. Then again, the purpose of a guest character is so the writers can expand their writing abilities to previously unvisited areas. Perhaps the writers secretly also wish to escape the realm of science-related puns.

Whatever the reason, Christine Baranski is hilarious here in her own right. Funny, but not overshadowing the rest of the cast. Likable, but satisfactory with one appearance per season. Now the bar has been set. When Leonard’s father assuredly appears on a later date, he’ll have to hold his own against Beverly, playing an equally tightly-wound scientist, but different enough to establish his own unique entity. No short order, but one certainly within the capabilities of The Big Bang Theory writers. Now if they could just ease up on the gay jokes…

One thing How I Met Your Mother does particularly well is a round-robin treatment of scenarios. Because the characters are similar enough in nature to be a close-knit circle of friends, yet have starkly different personalities and motivations, any character finding himself in a wacky situation can effectively be swapped out for another, creating a product that is still feasible, but with an entirely different outcome.

As this week’s episode begins Ted receives a mysterious phone call informing him “The window is open.” Rushing down the sidewalks of New York, knocking over anyone in his path, Ted arrives at the doorstep of Maggie, a girl whom Ted has crushed on since college. Unfortunately, the popular lass falls madly in love with every man she meets, and has never been out of a serious relationship for more than a few days. After several close but failed attempts to be the next courtier, Ted paid Maggie’s neighbor four years ago to phone him immediately after Maggie’s next break up.

Taking advantage of the open window, Ted invites the heartbroken girl to McLaren’s Pub in an attempt to console her, impress her, and cement his place in her life. Unfortunately, the tunnel-visioned professor forgot he has a class to teach that very evening. Ted begs Lily and Marshall to keep Maggie occupied and isolated from available men until his return.

Marshall, already engrossed with his own plotline, does his best to drive off social vultures, but is distracted by a package sent from his mother. Marshall’s parents sent him a box of keepsakes and mementos from his childhood, gleaned from their basement. Among these knickknacks is a letter, written by fifteen year-old Marshall to his present self. In it, 1993-era Marshall demands of his future self to complete certain goals, such as drive the A-Team van, slam dunk on a regulation-height basketball hoop, change his name to ‘Vanilla Thunder Eriksen,’ and most importantly, maintain his dream of saving the world and never selling out to the corporate machine.

Marshall’s desire to save the Earth by working with the Natural Resources Defense Council is a callback to seasons 1-3. Marshall was dead-set on achieving his dream job, but abandoned his lofty goals early in season three after a series of bad financial decisions. Massive debts forced Marshall to accept a high-paying attorney position for a less-than-reputable company.

Since then, Marshall has changed jobs, but is still working in the corporate sector. Very little mention of his environmentalist aspirations have been mentioned between then and tonight. Realizing he has abandoned his endeavors in pursuit of the almighty dollar, shaming him and his teenage self in the process, Marshall storms out of McLaren’s in disgust.

Ted, rushing through his lecture as fast as possible (“There are six main types of bridges: beam, cantilever, arch, suspension, and two others”), is appalled to learn Lily has also abandoned Maggie at the bar to chase after her husband, who she fears is about to quit his job. Lily tries to calm Ted, explaining she has left Maggie in the capable hands of Robin. Robin claims she is the perfect safeguard for Maggie. In her own words, “I know a little something about man-magnets. (Maggie) may be able to hold up a picture of your kids on the fridge, but I’m one of those magnets that can pick up cars in a junkyard.” However, in the time it took Robin to brag about her awesome skills, Maggie’s co-worker Jim has swooped in and begun to lay the moves on her.

Doing her best to distance Jim from Maggie, whilst subconsciously trying to verify her own self-image and sex appeal, Robin drags the unwilling Jim to an art show entitled “La Chien Erotique,” which makes me wonder frightfully what either party was expecting. Maggie is left with the remaining cast member, Barney. Barney reassures Ted he will respect his bro’s claim, already sidetracked by his own pursuits. After mocking a pair of overalls found in Marshall’s box, Barney challenges himself to wear the stone-washed garment all night until successfully bedding a woman. So far, Barney has had understandably unsuccessful results. While genuinely trying to preserve Maggie for his best friend, Barney relapses after she compliments his peculiar fashion sense. Throwing the Bro Code into the wind, Barney gives Ted ten minutes to retrieve Maggie before the window closes again.

Returning from his awkward experience with Robin, Jim squares off with Ted and Barney over who rightfully gets Maggie as his own. The entire scene is akin to the climax of There’s Something About Mary, but with fewer Green Bay Packers. Seeing Maggie being treated like an auction prize, Robin sympathetically puts the poor girl in a cab, sending her home. The three bachelors push and shove each other as they race to Maggie’s doorstep, only to discover she has reacquainted with Adam, a childhood friend she hasn’t seen since her teenage years. Maggie and Adam tell their tragic tale of lost love, which Future Narrator Ted calls the second greatest love story he’d ever heard (the first being his own, of course). In a video montage, we see young Adam and Maggie grow up together until Adam and his family moved away at age thirteen, breaking the poor girl’s heart. Realizing they couldn’t possibly beat such a long-coming reunion, Ted, Barney and Jim back off. It’s a touching cap to this episode, but a bit over-the-top, considering we’ve never seen these Adam and Maggie characters before, and likely never will again.

As for Marshall and Lily, Marshall didn’t storm out to quit his job. He simply found a nearby basketball hoop, and was attempting to complete one criterion from his list, justifying his life, choices and marking him as not a complete  sellout. Unfortunately, due to his Dancer’s Hip, Marshall misses the slam dunk opportunity entirely, leaving him frozen on the cold concrete below. After a pep talk from Lily, Marshall realizes his actual accomplishments (graduating law school, marrying Lily, cutting off his stupid rat tail, etc.) weren’t what he dreamed of at age fifteen, but were noble achievements nonetheless.

As the last laugh, Marshall writes a letter to his sixty-year-old self, reminding him that as long as he’s with Lily, things will be all right. And as is Marshall’s way, he asked his elderly self to send him a sign if time travel was possible. As he writes the sentence, a plate of hot wings is delivered by Lily, claiming they were returned by an elderly man, complaining of their heat. The camera pans over to reveal sixty year-old Marshall at another table looking longingly at his thirty year-old counterpart and his wife, explaining to his waitress, “the wings weren’t too hot, (he) just had wings earlier… Much earlier.” This was done for laughs, of course, but I still love the notion that time travel will be a canonical actuality in the How I Met Your Mother universe.

As stated earlier, tonight’s episode succeeds due to stellar performances by the cast. As each character plays hot potato with Maggie, we see how radically different yet eerily similar our five protagonists are. Each ably plays the pros and cons of their respective roles comically, but also sympathetically. But, while this week’s episode was rife with sentimentality, it was stock sentimentality. It’s a special sentimentality produced in bulk and sold at Sam’s Club. The writers try to tug at our heartstrings, but they simply recycled two frequently recurring motifs: Ted shunning his fears and doubts and deciding he is ready for a serious relationship, and Marshall and Lily realizing they will always be happy as long as they have each other. Reinforcing these themes isn’t necessarily bad, it just doesn’t add anything new. But as long as new episodes of How I Met Your Mother are being produced, that window will always be open.