Generally, I like Michael Bay and will defend the guy when my peers and others claim he’s terrible or one of the worst people alive in the world today. The guy knows what he makes even if he indulges in himself a little too much at times. His films (outside of that bastardization of an attack) never try to be anything more than the sum of their parts, even Armageddon which should never be taken seriously to begin with. Seemingly he’s a perfect fit for the Transformers franchise as the series was always about giant robots kicking the crap out of the other. This theory was proven correct with the first film even if it leaned too much to the side of the humans and not enough on the robots. What it did have though was Steven Spielberg guiding Bay through it to make sure Michael didn’t fly off the handle like had in previous pictures. The result? A solid, if problematic film that reintroduced the Autobots and Decepticons pretty well for a new generation of fans.

Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen lacks the touch Spielberg had on the first film and definitely feels more “Michael Bay” than the first. Both good and bad are going to come with that so let’s focus on the good parts first. Like the first picture, this film features breathtaking, even groundbreaking visual effects that better earn Bay’s team the Oscar this year that they were unjustly robbed of in 2007. As much as audiences believed a man could fly in 1978, they’ll certainly buy that Spielberg and Bay are keeping the Autobots hidden somewhere in an abandoned Hollywood lot. Understandably, this makes the action take a hit as far as framing is concerned at times. However, it’s likely the already large budget wouldn’t allow for the effects to show off long shots of two robots smacking into the other so, at least here, it’s understandable why things might be shot tighter than usual. Many will disagree, but it doesn’t make the action any less thrilling as we witness a true maestro of entertainment at work. The last time this marriage of effects and sound were so revolutionary was back in 1991 with a little picture called Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

We've been here before, Prime. 1986?

Unlike that film though, Revenge of The Fallen lacks the backbone Cameron’s masterpiece had with it’s story. Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci (also with help from Ethan Kruger), who were forgiven for their numerous plot holes andinconsistencies on Star Trek, will not suffer the same fate here. Yes, it’s Transformers and the script needs to be taken with a grain of salt but they did a decent job of making the first a fun, action romp with a little bit of fat. Like everything else that’s bigger in this movie, Transformers 2 is bloated and could very easily lose a good chunk of it’s filler. The lovey-dovey stuff with Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and Mikaela (Megan Fox) feels very forced like it’s from a poorly written sitcom. Granted Bay has never been one to direct expert character scenes, but when he’s not given much to go by it’s disastrous. The entire, “will they, or won’t they?” when it comes to the pair saying ‘I love you’ is tedious and bogs the film down.

Things get progressively worse when Sam finally makes it to college and Sam’s mother (played by Julie White) “accidentally” eats pot-brownies. Not only is the scene factually incorrect even for the movie’s standards, but it does nothing at all for the plot. Neither does a later scene where both of the parents are kidnapped by the Decepticons and later released. The script does nothing with this subplot and has it happen for the sake of happening. The same philosophy is true for the female Terminator….I mean Decepticon female named Alice (Isabel Lucas). Forgetting that any male in his right mind wouldn’t drop Megan Fox, this character doesn’t affect the plot in any way and should have been left out so the money could have been spent to having more of Optimus whipping some serious ass at the end of the movie. Plus, if you’re going to have The Fallen announce on television that they’re after Sam, what was the point of having the female Deceptinator in the first place?

Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson return as Lennox and Epps who get the most interesting plot of all of the humans. The flick opens even bigger and better than the first with their squad NEST and the Autobots weeding out the Decepticons remaining on Earth. Now the stereotypical government douche who wants to shut everything down is present, but even then these are the films most engaging and best parts. Partially this is due to the humans treating the Autobots as actual characters and not pretty things to stand around. Sadly they get the least screen time in lieu of Sam, Mikaela and a new character named Leo (Ramon Rodriguez) meeting up with Agent Simmons and a robot humping Megan Fox’s leg. That’s right, even the comedy in this film is expanded and often times, it’s juvenile and stupid. Speaking of Simmons, it’s a true to delight to have Turturro’s role expanded in this flick as he was one of the best human characters of the last outing. Also a delight is to see him helping Sam this time instead of making fun of him, as well as seeing he knew more about the Transformers than he let on.

Now’s time to talk about the real stars of the films, the Transformers. Peter Cullen returns as Optimus Prime and as always, he’s the best of the bunch. He also seems to be given more to do as he’s on screen seemingly more than he was in Transformers. The ‘plot’ of the film really does center on him and Bay certainly showcases Prime a lot more than before. If anyone gets shafted the most on time it’s Bumblebee, who all but drops out of the narrative for the climax. He dishes out some beatings as all hell is breaking loose, but most of the time he’s forgotten in the last battle unless Sam calls for him. Ironhide and Ratchet are also hugely reduced and just show up at the beginning, middle and end of the movie when the movie needs them. It’s discouraging considering how prominent they where in the previous flick. The twins, Skids and Mudflap, will either offend or be embraced and there’s no bones about that. They’re true stereotypes and if one can get past that, they’ll find some pretty humorous lines by the pair. Sideswipe is a nice addition even if he just looks pretty and the only female Autobot, Arcee, feels all but useless.

As for the Decepticons, Megatron is brought back to life to wreak more havoc and due battle with Optimus. Starscream joins him and the two continue the banter that they’ve always had throughout the years. The big kahuna here is Devastator, a Constructicon that forms from eight other Decepticons. He’s briefly seen and ultimately feels wasted when we get to his resolution. The other Decepticon making his debut is The Fallen, who is one of the original Transformers in this mythology. He’s after The Matrix of Leadership, which will either bring peace or destroy us all. He gets the most exposition which slows the film down. Yes, he’s big and he’s bad but there’s no need for fifty scenes explaining his origins or why the pyramids are important when we see him in the very beginning. Soundwave makes his big screen debut and they use him perfectly as a satellite that feeds the Decepticons information. Rounding out the main Transformers, Jetfire appears and does most of the talking explaining where The Fallen came from and just like his old stature, bores the audience.

In the end, Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen sets out to be the most epic film in the history of epicness. The visual effects, action, and scenes with the Autobots are the brightest lights in this picture. When the film shifts focus to Sam and Mikaela it falters terribly and loses way too much steam for a good hour before the finale comes to a close. It’s not the fault of Michael Bay so much is it is the terrible screenplay he’s given to work with. It’s full of boring exposition and ridiculous plot holes that you could drive Optimus Prime through. The complaints of the film running too long are legitimate, as the movie could easily lose some of it’s more ridiculous scenes and still have the same effect and above all, feel tighter. However, parts of the film are pure fun and fantastic when the film works. Transformers 2 is what it is, and never tries to be anything more than the sum of it’s epic parts. Next time though, let’s hope the parts are finely tuned and tighter.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆ 

Decades from now, people will ask you where you were on June 24th? What’s so special about June 24th? It’s the release of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, that’s what. While you’re busy marking off days on your calendar until this momentous day, why don’t you kick back and watch some clips from the movie. Some have Megan Fox in them too. Others have Shia LaBeouf. All are cool.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen stars LaBeouf, Fox, John Turturro, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and according to IMDB, America Olivo will play “Frisbee Girl.” I hope DreamWorks realizes the danger if that flying disc is not a Frisbee.

Also note that Hugo Weaving continues his geek parade by returning as the voice of Megatron. What’s not to love?

Big thanks to FSR.