Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (Blu-ray Review)
Main Feature (1H 49M 6S)
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines had the unenviable task of following two of the most successful and critically acclaimed Sci-Fi films of all time. Regardless of what this had to offer it was on to a beating from the point of its conception. This is a special effects playground and was always destined for a Blu-ray release but there’s no doubt in my mind this has been timed to cash in on the expectations surrounding Terminator Salvation.
If you’ve already seen this film, and most of you will have, you’ll know that this completely fails to live up to the standards set in the first and second films in the series. For those who have somehow managed to avoid watching this film I will do my best to explain the many problems I have with this failed attempt at progressing the franchise.
The T-X, the female Terminator played by Kristanna Loken, is undeniably attractive but any idea that her inclusion is in support of the narrative rather than a cheap gimmick is thrown aside in her first few moments on screen. She increases the size of her breasts in order to seduce a police officer, or so the script would lead us to believe, and then instantly forgets that plan in favour of killing him. This indicates that the breast enlargement ability isn’t part of a cunning plan and is actually little more than pointless titillation.
The level of corniness is then increased by Katherine Brewster, played by the lovely Claire Danes, with the line “I hate machines” as she struggles to use a hand-held item scanner. The father of this Bride-to-be then informs us in a phone conversation that he has complete confidence in her and states that she has always done the right thing in her life. I can’t speak for anyone who reads this but I certainly don’t appreciate being dragged through a story by the hand as though I’m incapable of working through the narrative on my own. The corny moments come thick and fast and it really is quite painful to watch. A homosexual stripper tells a naked Arnie to “talk to the hand” who then takes this direction literally. This pales in comparison to Arnie delivering one of the most ridiculous lines in cinematic history, “she’ll be back”, and no writer wants to admit this but words fail me.
The chemistry between John Connor, played by Nick Stahl, and Katherine left a lot to be desired but this wasn’t helped by lines such as “you’re not exactly my type” which left me wondering if John Connor had something against beautiful girls. While I’m on the subject, here’s a helpful tip to any guys reading this, telling a girl “you remind me of my mother” won’t exactly melt their hearts or help in the underwear removal department.
It’s strange to sit through an entire film which failed to impress only to realise that the last few moments are actually pretty good. The moment John Connor announces he is in charge signals his transition from emo layabout to leader of men and this reminded me of how excited I am about Christian Bale stepping into the character for Terminator Salvation. I shouldn’t be glad when a film finishes but, being a huge fan of The Terminator and its sequel, I can only describe this attempt as an unfortunate mess.
Extras
Two Commentaries (Each 1H 49M 6S) – The first by Director Jonathan Mostow, Arnold Swarzenegger, Nick Stahl, Claire Danes and Kristanna Loken. The second by Director Jonathan Mostow on his own. On paper the first commentary looks very impressive as it features the Director plus all the main cast but in reality each commentary was recorded separately and it’s a shame you don’t get to hear them interacting. The second commentary has Mostow ever so slightly blowing his own trumpet, when he has little reason to, with lines such as “I found myself being challenged and excited…to essentially reinvent, reinvigorate, and revitalize” the Terminator story.
Terminator Vision: Picture in Picture Experience (1H 49M 6S) – This is pretty self explanatory but it’s the entire feature and on occasion a box will pop up and someone involved in the films creation will offer a retrospective view. I found myself constantly frustrated with statements from the Director, Jonathan Mostow, about how great he thinks his creation is and as he claims to be a fan of the original films I wonder if he’s actually watched this since he stopped filming.
Documentary (13M 2S) – Other than a couple of minutes on special effects and stunt-work this is filled with the cast and crew stating the obvious when it comes to the film’s story making this pretty pointless.
Storyboards (3M 55S) – This feature, as with similar Storyboard extras for other films, is nowhere near as interesting as the producers seem to believe.
Dressed to Kill (2M 11S) – This is about as short as “behind the scenes” extras get and there’s really not much on offer here, they talk about a few costumes, nothing exciting, the end.
Toys in Action (7M 4S) – This is an interesting documentary on the T3 action figures in which Todd McFarlane, comic-book maestro and founder of McFarlane Toys, talks us through the creation process.
Sgt. Candy Deleted Scene (1M 51S) – This explains how the T-101 came to have its appearance and while I understand why this silly scene was cut it is quite interesting and pretty funny.
Terminal Flaws: Gag Reel (3M 2S) – Actors messing up slightly and giggling. You know the drill.
Making of the Videogame (8M 57S) – A documentary with actors describing how incredible the graphics are when the only thing incredible here is how outdated the graphics look in what was a less than impressive videogame.
Trailers – No explanation required. Trailers for The Da Vinci Code and Terminator Salvation.
Summary
The long wait after Terminator 2: Judgement Day ended in disappointment when this first hit the big screen and this Blu-ray edition is pretty but lacks substance. The disappointment of the main feature is repeated in lacklustre features. Todd McFarlane talking to us about toys shouldn’t be the most interesting extra on a Terminator film but for me that seven minute feature was head and shoulders above everything else on offer. Unless you feel the need to own everything related to The Terminator I would avoid this Blu-ray release. Purchase the first and second films, wait for Terminator Salvation, read the Robocop versus The Terminator comics, play the Robocop versus The Terminator videogame, but please avoid this as it may spoil your love of what is otherwise a fantastic franchise.
Rating *
